dating somone whose situation is different to what you are used to..would you?

[purplehouse]

So i met this guy in November at a volunteer job and there was an initial attraction. He got in touch outside of where we work and We went out on Saturday night to see some bands play. He is attractive, dresses well, smells amazing and was really polite and we had some good laughs.

 

It wasn't an official date but it's pretty obvious this could head somewhere. He is older than me by 12 years and seems happy to take things slow and get to know each other first which is refreshing....

 

The thing is (please don't think i am being awful) 'on paper' so to speak he isn't the type i'd normally date.

 

He is unemployed as he had to move home to take care of his father who was quite sick. He became his carer. He went to uni years ago and also has finished a trade.

 

He is starting a course in Environmental Health at the end of the month but he has to do it externally as the uni is in another state. And we met at Volunteering which he started doing as caring for his father really took away his social life and he wanted to get out and do something/anything.

 

So although he is unemployed he is doing things (study/ volunteering)

 

I have normally dated guys who work and have their own place so this is quite different.

 

So would you date someone who was unemployed and was living with their father. (has his own space from the house)

 

 

Maybe i am thinking about it too much???

 

He seems to tick all the boxes in every other way...

 

He called last night to chat and wants to see me before he goes away to see family for a week. So i think he is pretty interested.

Edited February 14, 2011 by purplehouse

[angelboots]

I have to say he actually sounds like a nice guy and I can be fairly cynical these days, provided what he is telling you is true, I dont see why you wouldn't consider dating him

[denise_xo]

I think the fact that he is down playing his career and other interests to take care of his father speaks volumes of this man. Sounds like a keeper.

[purplehouse]

i just re read my post and realised i forgot to add a couple of things.

 

3 years ago he and his fiance broke up. They head bought a house and despite both working really hard, finances became a problem. The house sold but he ended up in debt and had to go bankrupt. After that he was pretty devastated and ended up going through a heavy drinking period and ened up in hospital with pancreas issues.

 

He doesn't drink like that now or anything but it sounded full on.

 

i don't know i guess it's just sad. He is 38 and has/had so much potential and it seems like the last couple of years have been really tough and i admire himd for taking care of his father like that. He admits to having felt like his life was over at times because of it.

 

He also smokes and that's not really a hue issue to me but i don't smoke and don't really like the smell so i guess it's just another thing.

 

 

i like him, i'm just a little scared maybe..lol

[Waitress]

It sounds like he just has a real heaviness about him. Maybe your reticence is because you want something that is a little lighter to begin? He has a lot of baggage.

 

He might be a great guy but he also might be looking for someone to rescue him.

 

Does that ring any bells?