tiger20 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 What would you do if your boyfriend confessed to breaking into your email account? Would you dump him immediately? Would you ask him why he broke into your account? Tell me what you'd do in this scenario ladies.
Eeyore79 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 No, I wouldn't dump him, but I would be concerned about why he did it. He must be feeling insecure or jealous to do something like that, and if so those issues would need to be addressed. I'd have a talk with him and let him know that invading my privacy isn't ok and I'd like him not to do it in future, and then we'd work out why he felt the need to do it and see if we could fix things.
Lilmisus Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I wouldn't just dump him, but I would reassess the relationship and strongly consider it. I used to check my ex's e-mails all the time when we were together, and he did the same for me, since we had nothing to hide and we both were okay with it. Plus, it was cute to leave little messages for the other to see every now and then. But, if he just broke into the account with no permission and no other reason than to "check up on me" then I'd have a sit down talk with him, and change the password asap after clearing up why he felt compelled to do it. If it turns out he's a psycho who had a crazy burst, then that relationship would be over. Is there a reason you're asking this, or were you simply curious?
Mrlonelyone Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 You should consider that such men desire control over your communications. They are insecure and depending on temperment may even be abusive. If they'll break into your email it won't stop there. Next thing you know they are going into your bank account, monitoring your phone usage, reading your regular mail, telling you who you can and cannot talk to (even family and close friends). Then once they have total control over your life and have you in a state of learned helplessness the hitting starts.
LittleTiger Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 If I'm in a serious relationship 'breaking-in' isn't necessary. I willingly share my email passwords etc and I've always been given the same courtesy in return - if there's nothing to hide then why not. I'd draw the line at sharing financial information and banking passwords until you're heading towards the alter though. If it's a casual date you're talking about and I found out they'd been 'snooping' at my emails, that would be the last date they got with me.
tigressA Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I'd dump him and not look back. I wouldn't give the guy reason to mistrust me, so if he still felt the need to snoop like that it would be proof of a deep insecurity that I wouldn't be able to abide.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I'd dump him and not look back. I wouldn't give the guy reason to mistrust me, so if he still felt the need to snoop like that it would be proof of a deep insecurity that I wouldn't be able to abide. Yeah, this is how I would feel also. I would possibly ask him why he felt the need to break into my account, because I would never give him a reason to not trust me. But then again, any reason he had to break into my account wouldn't make much sense to me, because I hadn't given him a reason to... My husband knows my email passwords, credit account info, ect. And vice versa. We have nothing to hide, so we have no problem sharing that info with each other.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I don't know if I'd immediately dump him, depends upon how close we were. It certainly would have a detrimental effect on the relationship, and I doubt that such a relationship would go very far, for me. I am really turned off by displays of insecurity, especially when they involve personal trespasses. I would lose respect for him which would probably not be able to be regained.
elaina Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 What would you do if your boyfriend confessed to breaking into your email account? Would you dump him immediately? Would you ask him why he broke into your account? Tell me what you'd do in this scenario ladies. Yes most definitely I would ask him why and would want very good explanations!!! As for my email, I have nothing to hide. If my boyfriend wants to see my email, he can ask me and I will show him, though I won't show him emails from friends who want their messages to me to be private. Some friends write me with confidential information of things they are going through, and it is my responsibility as a good friend they trust to keep that confidential. So of course I'd be upset if that was violated, but I myself have nothing to personally hide. So in this scenario, I would ask him what he read and talk about respect, because it is disrespectful to go through other peoples' things without permission. If he didn't understand this and feel sorry for disrespect, then I would seriously consider dumping him. Respect and trust are incredibly important for relationships to work!
Jonno_S Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 There are few things that would cause me to immediately do anything. I would definitely wonder why and have to talk about it to see what the underlying motivation was. A similar scenario: I recently gave my then GF my password for a work-gmail account for a very limited purpose and she did all sorts of searching way beyond what I gave it to her for. In essence, her searching was to find reasons to break up with me. So she looked at all these e-mails and made nutty conclusions. I think we would have broken up anyway but this just happened to be the catalyst.
phineas Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 If I'm in a serious relationship 'breaking-in' isn't necessary. I willingly share my email passwords etc and I've always been given the same courtesy in return - if there's nothing to hide then why not. I'd draw the line at sharing financial information and banking passwords until you're heading towards the alter though. If it's a casual date you're talking about and I found out they'd been 'snooping' at my emails, that would be the last date they got with me. this. The password for my e-mail, facebook, ect is saved in the browser. i'm not a shady POS. If i'm in a relationship with someone my computer is their computer. Hell, I've given my phone to women I was casually dating to hold for me if I had to do something that could result in it getting broke or I didn't want it in my pocket. I expect they will look in it if they have it. If we arn't exclusive I don't have to explain anything on it. If we are exclusive those other women will know it & I would not exchange inappropriate texts with them.
OldSkool Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Some people will have them arrested =P http://www.suite101.com/content/email-hacking-and-divorce-reading-spouses-emails-is-illegal-a331880
spiderowl Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Pretty sure I'd dump him. That's a gross invasion of privacy and a sign that he doesn't trust me and is getting obsessive about it. If he had any concerns he should have spoken to me about them. If he still didn't trust me, why is he with me? He should leave if he just can't trust me.
daphne Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 I would probably be a little pissed that he didn't just ask to look. I am not someone that has anything to hide (as long as it's not finance related.) And if it takes showing someone I don't to get them to relax and trust me, so be it. But if they're paranoid all of the time, I'd have to let that go. I'm not a cheater, and I don't feel like paying for the person that cheated on the guy.
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