jerbear Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 The audacity. Making a female pay for your 100 dollar tab, then asking to come over afterwords?! You weren't that great at pool not to mention, they didn't know how to treat their friend whose birthday it was. Dd you win the $100 from pool? 22 and his friends sound like freeloaders.
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Dd you win the $100 from pool? 22 and his friends sound like freeloaders. I didn't win any money from pool, unfortunately I sucked as bad as they did :laugh: It breaks my heart to know this 22 year old was such a kind guy. He came a bit later than everyone else, completely sober, stood in the back the majority of the time and watched the rest of us. Didn't expect anything at all. It wasn't until I approached him that he told me it was his 22nd birthday. I looked at his friends with a '' face. They just nodded and continued playing pool. This guy was so sweet, so laid back and nice. I honestly didn't mind paying for any of his drinks. If it were up to me (if his friends didn't bail on their tab), I would have stayed longer just to make sure he had a great birthday!!
eric82 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) I don't think she dresses like a hooker, when I originally implied that a female was dressing like a hooker I wasn't referring to my roommate. But... you are right, my roommate (who dresses less conservatively) did say that perhaps I wasn't being approached because of the way I dress. She's probably just telling you this because that's what works for her. I doubt guys have commented on the way you dress because honestly that's not the kind of thing on our minds when we first see you. Point is, if we glance down at your body when we first see you, it has nothing to do with what's covering your body, especially in the context of drinking at a bar. Edited February 14, 2011 by eric82
Emilia Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I didn't win any money from pool, unfortunately I sucked as bad as they did :laugh: It breaks my heart to know this 22 year old was such a kind guy. He came a bit later than everyone else, completely sober, stood in the back the majority of the time and watched the rest of us. Didn't expect anything at all. It wasn't until I approached him that he told me it was his 22nd birthday. I looked at his friends with a '' face. They just nodded and continued playing pool. This guy was so sweet, so laid back and nice. I honestly didn't mind paying for any of his drinks. If it were up to me (if his friends didn't bail on their tab), I would have stayed longer just to make sure he had a great birthday!! I think you are quite naive. Maybe your roommate gets more attention because she is worldly and knows how to catch guys' attention. It sounds to me that it's what she was trying to tell you - albeit in a clumsy way
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 She's probably just telling you this because that's what works for her. I doubt guys have commented on the way you dress because honestly that's not the kind of thing on our minds when we first see you. Point is, if we glance down at your body when we first see you, it has nothing to do with what's covering your body, especially in the context of drinking at a bar. Ok, enlighten me What do you guys first notice about a woman? And what could a woman do, do make themselves seem more approachable in that sense?
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I think you are quite naive. Maybe your roommate gets more attention because she is worldly and knows how to catch guys' attention. It sounds to me that it's what she was trying to tell you - albeit in a clumsy way I've been through some tough stuff in my life, enough to definitely know how to handle myself in social situations. Hell, that's what I do for a living! This whole dating scene is new to both of us, so we are both trying to figure out what works and what doesn't. But as far as naivety goes, I'm not saying there isn't a bit of naivety in myelf, or any of us for that matter. Being social, however, has never been an issue of mine.
musemaj11 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Oh, i'm sure! I paid in cash. They were sitting next to us. I assumed they had their own tab going. Right before I left (and they were no where to be found), I asked my waiter how much I owed him and he handed me my bill with *everything* on it. I couldn't find any of the guys around (except the birthday boy, which I wasn't going to make pay anything). ****ing jerks. You should have invited them to your place and beat the crap out of them when they got there. Anyway, if you dont wanna attract a guy by dressing like a 'hooker', then dont. Just meet as many guys as you can and trust me at least one will stick. Its so nice of you for buying the birthday boy a drink though. Its unfortunate he had such low life friends.
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 ****ing jerks. You should have invited them to your place and beat the crap out of them when they got there. Anyway, if you dont wanna attract a guy by dressing like a 'hooker', then dont. Just meet as many guys as you can and trust me at least one will stick. Its so nice of you for buying the birthday boy a drink though. Its unfortunate he had such low life friends. Yeah they did call and ask to come over when we got home. That definitely wasn't happening, unless they had the money they owe for their share. Needless to say, they didn't end up coming. As far as me dressing conservatively goes, I enjoy it. I don't like have my body parts over flowing everywhere It's just not my style. I like to be covered up (not a moo-moo type outfit) but something casual. I'm not having much luck with that though. Any luck actually.
mustofbeen Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Try changing your altitude, you seem bitter
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Try changing your altitude, you seem bitter I will attempt to change my altitude, I do live fairly close to mountains and always wanted to live on one. On a more serious note, I don't think it's my attitude that gets me stuck with everyones bills. I think these people are just jerks.
oaks Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I will attempt to change my altitude, I do live fairly close to mountains and always wanted to live on one. :lmao: Maybe you'll find a better class of guy up in the hills.
Titania22 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Try changing your altitude, you seem bitter I will attempt to change my altitude, I do live fairly close to mountains and always wanted to live on one. This was so good.
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 :lmao: Maybe you'll find a better class of guy up in the hills. I'm going to take a nap, then head out for the mountains bright and early!! I'll report back on what type of class is found. You may be onto something oaks... This was so good. Definitely something I needed :laugh:
eric82 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Ok, enlighten me What do you guys first notice about a woman? The same stuff that women notice first about men, facial appearance and body type. And what could a woman do, to make themselves seem more approachable in that sense? Approachable for what, having a conservation? Well, the obvious answer is smile with eye contact, but I think you're asking the wrong question here. It's not so much that you need to do this or that to become more approachable, you need to realize that if a guy isn't interested or if he is but lacks self-confidence, he won't approach you no matter what you do. I'm sure you probably already do what most women do... stuff like brushing past him on your way to the restroom or ordering drinks from the bar at the same time as him to increase the chance of the two of you interacting. But most guys are oblivious to these kinds of gestures, so I think you'd be better off just going up and talking to him. Tell me, what's your real reason for wanting to be more approachable? To have certain guys (i.e. attractive ones) approach you or to be approached more in general so you feel more desirable?
january2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I will attempt to change my altitude, I do live fairly close to mountains and always wanted to live on one. Between this and Florence's Ferret Tales calendar, I've been kept very amused today Regarding your OP - Erica, I know that you enjoy making people happy but I think you were too nice in this situation. I think you're going to have to just take it as a lesson learned - as I'm sure you will. With regard to how you dress - I am currently 'struggling' with this dilemma myself. I think that it would be naive to think that appearance doesn't matter at all but ultimately, as you know, you have to be happy and comfortable with what you wear. There's no harm in experimenting though and you may find that you have a lot more options than you'd previously thought.
tami-chan Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Hi erica! You are so funny!!!!:lmao:! How's the mountain climbing? I think that these guys were just er...jerks...they must be Univ of Md alums or students....haha...just kidding...<calm down people > On the other hand...they might have assumed that you were ok "taking care of the tab"-was that a possible scenario? After all, in your conservative attire (Chanel pieces,Donna Karan and the like) surely a 100 bux is nothing, right? I would have told them when they called later that it was not nice leaving you with the tab though-just in case, it was a wrong assumption on their part.
bayouboi Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 OP, idk why you aren't getting more attention. You look like a smoking hot redhead to me. They are probably intimidated.
aerogurl87 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 An attitude adjustment may help. Stop being overly condescending and sarcastic and maybe you can get a date. Just saying, cause it's not always about the looks. Sometimes it's also about the vibe you put off and if your vibe is "overly cautious" and you're in defense mode, most men will not want to approach you.
Saphira Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) i think your attitude just needs some help Edited February 14, 2011 by Saphira
tami-chan Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Saphira and Aerogurl...based on the ORIGINAL POST...you can glean she has an attitude problem? you know, she was not dating any of the posters . Focus.
Star Gazer Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I've been through some tough stuff in my life, enough to definitely know how to handle myself in social situations. Hell, that's what I do for a living! This whole dating scene is new to both of us, so we are both trying to figure out what works and what doesn't. Seeing as dating is a social situation, this whole statement above is internally inconsistent. It seems you actually don't know how to handle yourself in social situations (whether in dating or speaking with peers for advice ). What kind of guy are you trying to attract? Hopefully some of the guys that fit that description can help.
oaks Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I've asked a few people what I have been doing 'wrong'. Apparently, i've been dressing too conservative. I'm not enough of a hooker to be approached!!!!! Well there's nothing wrong with how you look so what do you wear when you go out, and where are you hanging out that might have single guys who could approach you (or who you could approach)?
Jazzari Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 The way you dress can send a big message. If you are wearing an old lady shirt that is tightly buttoned under your chin, that sends an uptight "stay away from me" kind of message. On the flip side, if your neckline goes does to your navel, that sends another kind of message. There is alot of room between hooker and nun. I don't know where you are in that range, but maybe you can find a happy medium that makes you approachable without looking like a hooker.
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Tell me, what's your real reason for wanting to be more approachable? To have certain guys (i.e. attractive ones) approach you or to be approached more in general so you feel more desirable? I want to start dating. I don't care about feeling more desirable. If I did, i'd be dressing less conservatively . I'd like to be approached, so that I can have conversations with these guys, which could possibly lead to going out on a date. Between this and Florence's Ferret Tales calendar, I've been kept very amused today Regarding your OP - Erica, I know that you enjoy making people happy but I think you were too nice in this situation. I think you're going to have to just take it as a lesson learned - as I'm sure you will. With regard to how you dress - I am currently 'struggling' with this dilemma myself. I think that it would be naive to think that appearance doesn't matter at all but ultimately, as you know, you have to be happy and comfortable with what you wear. There's no harm in experimenting though and you may find that you have a lot more options than you'd previously thought. That's very true. I usually wear something that's comfortable, doesn't show anything off, but flattering at the same time. Skinny jeans with heels, for example. Or with boots. Perhaps I could see what else I might find comfortable that I haven't tried yet, thanks for the advice Jan! Hi erica! You are so funny!!!!:lmao:! How's the mountain climbing? I think that these guys were just er...jerks...they must be Univ of Md alums or students....haha...just kidding...<calm down people > On the other hand...they might have assumed that you were ok "taking care of the tab"-was that a possible scenario? After all, in your conservative attire (Chanel pieces,Donna Karan and the like) surely a 100 bux is nothing, right? I would have told them when they called later that it was not nice leaving you with the tab though-just in case, it was a wrong assumption on their part. I'm pretty sure my roommate did tell them that it wasn't right that they didn't pay. I also think that's why she didn't let them come over. I won't ever see those guys again, so i'm just going to take this as a lesson to be learned. A hundred-dollar lesson Seeing as dating is a social situation, this whole statement above is internally inconsistent. It seems you actually don't know how to handle yourself in social situations (whether in dating or speaking with peers for advice ). What kind of guy are you trying to attract? Hopefully some of the guys that fit that description can help. I'm confused? What do you mean by these types of guys can help? Help what? It is your opinion that I am unable to handle myself in social situations, however I don't believe that to be the case. I'm sorry if you don't like the way I speak to certain (rude, condescending) people, and if that makes me socially inept in your eyes... then so be it. Well there's nothing wrong with how you look so what do you wear when you go out, and where are you hanging out that might have single guys who could approach you (or who you could approach)? I don't usually go out. Last weekend, and the weekend before, was the first time I went out in some time. We don't usually stay in one place. Last night we went to a sports bar, but last weekend we went bar hopping. I do actually approach guys, but I feel so dumb doing it. People look at me like i'm an alien the minute they see that 'i'm considering approaching a guy' look on my face.
oaks Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I don't usually go out. Well there's one of the problems! (unless you're also using online dating sites) Last weekend, and the weekend before, was the first time I went out in some time. We don't usually stay in one place. Last night we went to a sports bar, but last weekend we went bar hopping. I do actually approach guys, but I feel so dumb doing it. I hate approaching girls, too. I don't know of anything better than doing it more to get over the feeling dumb thing. (Or you can avoid it by going the online route. You'll have a full mailbox within minutes.) People look at me like i'm an alien the minute they see that 'i'm considering approaching a guy' look on my face. I'd let you approach me, but you're on the wrong continent. Not sure why this isn't working for you.
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