EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I almost forgot what it was like to date again! I can't even consider what i've been doing, dating. I've met a few guys out, most who have wanted to hook up with my big-breasted roommate; or who have... well... wanted to hook up with my roommate. I've asked a few people what I have been doing 'wrong'. Apparently, i've been dressing too conservative. I'm not enough of a hooker to be approached!!!!! A group of guys approached myself and my roommate tonight. One of the guys was turning 22 that night. I bought him his shots and his drinks since his friends were apparently unable to. Needless to say, by the end of the night, I had paid for not only my drinks, but the birthday boys drinks, my roommates drinks, and the other 2 guys drinks! I had spent well over 100 dollars! :eek::eek: Either i'm completely clueless as to how to date, or i'm clearly being taken advantage of! Either way... WHAT THE HELL!!!
Star Gazer Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I don't understand why you think you don't know how to date. The situation you presented has nothing to do with a date?
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I don't understand why you think you don't know how to date. The situation you presented has nothing to do with a date? I apologize. I will break down the meaning of this thread. Men that approach me, apparently only want one of TWO things. 1 - To get with my roommate. 2 - To take my money, which is seriously pathetic. I apologize if this thread has been too difficult to comprehend. Perhaps next time I should type much s-l-o-w-e-r.
Star Gazer Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Something else to keep in mind: Men (and women) don't appreciate condescension. I was merely asking a question to understand what you were upset about, and how these dudes taking advantage of you had anything to do with dating or being asexual. Take care.
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I was merely asking a question to understand what you were upset about, and how these dudes taking advantage of you had anything to do with dating or being asexual. Take care. Star, i'm sorry if I wasn't clear. Dating = being taken seriously; and/or being held to the same standard that they (men) hold themselves. If a man doesn't take me seriously because I dress too 'conservatively', then I have no choice but to wonder what the hell is going on. The title of this thread, being a-sexual, was a reference towards how dating is not working out in my favor, in case anyone misunderstood that part.
fishtaco Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 So why don't you dress less conservative? You are obviously roommates and I assume friends with a woman with large breasts and isn't afraid to show off her body. Do you think less of her? Does that make her a lesser human being? So if you dress less conservatively, it shouldn't make you a lesser person either. There is no entitlement. You are not guaranteed a man just because you are alive and breathing. You are competing against other women, just like I am competing against other men. We all have to learn to market ourselves better than our competition, and put in the effort to better ourselves. Although the good news is we don't have to be the best, otherwise most of us should just become asexual. You just have to be somewhere around average. When you don't know where's the line, in this case, how "less conservative" to dress, do the "when in Rome" thing. That's always a good starting point. Oh and if you're dressing conservative because you are insecure about your body, go work out. I can tell you this, men pay attention to body more than face. It's a modernized version of a left over trait from evolution - back in the caveman days, we used to use this "preference" to select the most healthy female in order to have higher chance or producing healthier offspring. If you want to hate, hate nature.
Titania22 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 One of the guys was turning 22 that night. I bought him his shots and his drinks since his friends were apparently unable to. I agree with what fish taco was saying. But I am wondering how you got suckered into this. If you are unwilling to say no in these circumstances, you should just pretend you have run out of money. That wouldn't make you any worse than his poor friends. Also if you are uncomfortable in your own skin, consider taking dance lessons. That should loosen you up a bit. You don't have to go the full hooker way with your choice of dress. Perhaps go for classy and sexy.
Star Gazer Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 So why don't you dress less conservative? You are obviously roommates and I assume friends with a woman with large breasts and isn't afraid to show off her body. Do you think less of her? Does that make her a lesser human being? She equated her roommate to a "hooker," so it seems like she doesn't hold her in very high regard.
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 So why don't you dress less conservative? Seriously? Is this a joke? In case it isn't, I don't feel the need to throw my 'attributes' in other peoples faces. You are obviously roommates and I assume friends with a woman with large breasts and isn't afraid to show off her body. Do you think less of her? Does that make her a lesser human being? Where the hell did you get the idea that I think less of my roommate because of the way she dresses? Where in my post did it make you think that I was judging my roommate, as opposed to the guys that approach us/her? There is no entitlement. You are not guaranteed a man just because you are alive and breathing. Ok, this quote is just ridiculous. If you want to preach your 'entitlement' conversation, I suggest doing it in another thread. Oh and if you're dressing conservative because you are insecure about your body, go work out. :lmao::laugh::lmao: The judgments being made by you in this thread are humorous. Pure humor. I appreciate you for that. I needed a good laugh!
fishtaco Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 lmao::laugh::lmao: The judgments being made by you in this thread are humorous. Pure humor. I appreciate you for that. I needed a good laugh! Just like you were rude to Star Gazer, I'm going to give you a dose of your own medicine. I apologize if my post was too difficult to understand. Perhaps I should use smaller words that are easier to understand. Oh wait... "if" is only two letters, if you don't know what that word means, then I can't think of any smaller word to replace it. I have failed you, I'm sorry. Perhaps a dictionary would help?
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I agree with what fish taco was saying. But I am wondering how you got suckered into this. If you are unwilling to say no in these circumstances, you should just pretend you have run out of money. That wouldn't make you any worse than his poor friends. I was not unable to say no. I was more than happy to buy this guy drinks. It was his birthday, and no one else was making him feel appreciated. I had zero problem with buying him his drinks. However, the problem that I had, was with his friends that didn't bother paying for *anything* they drank! I had no idea they weren't planning on paying for anything, until I received the bill and everything was on it (and they were MIA).
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Just like you were rude to Star Gazer, I'm going to give you a dose of your own medicine. I apologize if my post was too difficult to understand. Perhaps I should use smaller words that are easier to understand. Oh wait... "if" is only two letters, if you don't know what that word means, then I can't think of any smaller word to replace it. I have failed you, I'm sorry. Perhaps a dictionary would help? In case you hadn't noticed, I answered your questions. I don't understand how that makes me unable to comprehend your post? Unless, of course, you are trying to 'give me a dose of my own medicine' . I'm sorry, but your attempt at making me feel 'inadequate' has failed. Try again, fish
TryingToMoveOn Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Sorry to hear about your fiasco. How did you pay for the birthday boy's drinks? Did you put your card down and tell the bartender to open a tab? Birthday boy's friends are probably bragging about how they celebrated his birthday without having to pay a dime.
Star Gazer Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Just from this thread, I don't believe your roommate is getting more attention than you because of her breast size or your conservative dress.
Titania22 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I was not unable to say no. I was more than happy to buy this guy drinks. It was his birthday, and no one else was making him feel appreciated. I had zero problem with buying him his drinks. However, the problem that I had, was with his friends that didn't bother paying for *anything* they drank! I had no idea they weren't planning on paying for anything, until I received the bill and everything was on it (and they were MIA). That is awful.
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Sorry to hear about your fiasco. How did you pay for the birthday boy's drinks? Did you put your card down and tell the bartender to open a tab? Birthday boy's friends are probably bragging about how they celebrated his birthday without having to pay a dime. Oh, i'm sure! I paid in cash. They were sitting next to us. I assumed they had their own tab going. Right before I left (and they were no where to be found), I asked my waiter how much I owed him and he handed me my bill with *everything* on it. I couldn't find any of the guys around (except the birthday boy, which I wasn't going to make pay anything). Just from this thread, I don't believe your roommate is getting more attention than you because of her breast size or your conservative dress. I'll remember to ask you specifically next time
fishtaco Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 In case you hadn't noticed, I answered your questions. I don't understand how that makes me unable to comprehend your post? Unless, of course, you are trying to 'give me a dose of my own medicine' . I'm sorry, but your attempt at making me feel 'inadequate' has failed. Try again, fish Wow, lack of reading comprehension is astounding. "If" means "maybe it's that way, maybe it's not". You treat it as if I said you ARE insecure about your body. Which last time I checked, is not the meaning of the word "if". Anyway, you are now on my ignore list. You're just here to start fights. Have fun.
eric82 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Star, i'm sorry if I wasn't clear. Dating = being taken seriously; and/or being held to the same standard that they (men) hold themselves. If a man doesn't take me seriously because I dress too 'conservatively', then I have no choice but to wonder what the hell is going on. The title of this thread, being a-sexual, was a reference towards how dating is not working out in my favor, in case anyone misunderstood that part. Think of it this way, when a guy you don't know buys you a drink at a bar but you're not attracted to him, how do you react? If he later complained about the situation by saying girls don't take him seriously and blamed his outfit or the way he looked, what would you then think of him?
mustofbeen Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Just from this thread, I don't believe your roommate is getting more attention than you because of her breast size or your conservative dress. Yep to that.
Jannah Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I almost forgot what it was like to date again! I can't even consider what i've been doing, dating. I've met a few guys out, most who have wanted to hook up with my big-breasted roommate; or who have... well... wanted to hook up with my roommate. I've asked a few people what I have been doing 'wrong'. Apparently, i've been dressing too conservative. I'm not enough of a hooker to be approached!!!!! A group of guys approached myself and my roommate tonight. One of the guys was turning 22 that night. I bought him his shots and his drinks since his friends were apparently unable to. Needless to say, by the end of the night, I had paid for not only my drinks, but the birthday boys drinks, my roommates drinks, and the other 2 guys drinks! I had spent well over 100 dollars! :eek::eek: Either i'm completely clueless as to how to date, or i'm clearly being taken advantage of! Either way... WHAT THE HELL!!! Hunniebunny, this doesn't mean you are a-sexual in the least. It was nice that you treated the Birthday Boy to drinks, but I don't know why you paid for his friends drinks. Why didn't you just pay your own share?
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Think of it this way, when a guy you don't know buys you a drink at a bar but you're not attracted to him, how do you react? If he later complained about the situation by saying girls don't take him seriously and blamed his outfit or the way he looked, what would you then think of him? If a guy were to offer to buy me a drink, and I accepted, I would hang around and have a decent conversation with him. The only reason I brought up the way I dress, is because this is the feedback I receive from others. This isn't how I feel about myself. I think that I dress properly. Apparently, this isn't how others feel. However, I totally understand what you mean; a guy not understanding why females may take advantage of him. Thank you for giving me that perspective. Hunniebunny, this doesn't mean you are a-sexual in the least. It was nice that you treated the Birthday Boy to drinks, but I don't know why you paid for his friends drinks. Why didn't you just pay your own share? I didn't want to pay for his friends drinks, but they were gone and the waiter was waiting for the money. Being a server myself, I understand the frustration that comes with being blown off. Personally, I have to pay the full tab if someone walks out on me. I would never, ever, do that to another person.
eric82 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 The only reason I brought up the way I dress, is because this is the feedback I receive from others. This isn't how I feel about myself. I think that I dress properly. Apparently, this isn't how others feel. Who specifically has been telling you that you dress too conservatively? Let me guess, the friend you said dresses like a hooker?
Jannah Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I didn't want to pay for his friends drinks, but they were gone and the waiter was waiting for the money. Being a server myself, I understand the frustration that comes with being blown off. Personally, I have to pay the full tab if someone walks out on me. I would never, ever, do that to another person. Ah, you're a much bigger person then me. I would have hunted them down and made them pay. A few months ago I was out with a group of friends from high school whom I grew up with and something similar happened. I gave my male friend a visa gift card that had $100 on it, to buy us a round of drinks, while I went to the bathroom. When I came back, my card was gone. Apparently, my guy friend's "friend" opened a separate tab on my card and the waitress had it and wouldn't give it back to me. I walked up to the guy who opened the tab on my card, and asked him nicely to give me my card back and the money for whichever drinks he ordered on it. He wouldn't do it (he gave me some lame excuse), so I walked back over to my guy friend (and at that point, I was getting angry ), and said to him to please get my card/money otherwise there was going to be a big problem. I got it right back after that.
Author EricaH329 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Who specifically has been telling you that you dress too conservatively? Let me guess, the friend you said dresses like a hooker? I don't think she dresses like a hooker, when I originally implied that a female was dressing like a hooker I wasn't referring to my roommate. But... you are right, my roommate (who dresses less conservatively) did say that perhaps I wasn't being approached because of the way I dress. Ah, you're a much bigger person then me. I would have hunted them down and made them pay. A few months ago I was out with a group of friends from high school whom I grew up with and something similar happened. I gave my male friend a visa gift card that had $100 on it, to buy us a round of drinks, while I went to the bathroom. When I came back, my card was gone. Apparently, my guy friend's "friend" opened a separate tab on my card and the waitress had it and wouldn't give it back to me. I walked up to the guy who opened the tab on my card, and asked him nicely to give me my card back and the money for whichever drinks he ordered on it. He wouldn't do it (he gave me some lame excuse), so I walked back over to my guy friend (and at that point, I was getting angry ), and said to him to please get my card/money otherwise there was going to be a big problem. I got it right back after that. Oh wow!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you Jannah!! I can't imagine what I would have done if those guys were still hanging around! Apparently, after my roommate and I got home, they called her phone repeatedly for about 30 minutes until she finally answered. They were desperately trying to come over, which was *definitely* a no-go. The audacity. Making a female pay for your 100 dollar tab, then asking to come over afterwords?! You weren't that great at pool not to mention, they didn't know how to treat their friend whose birthday it was.
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