Seriously1223 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I meet my boyfriend over 8 years ago when we were in the ninth grade. We really liked each other but never dated and eventually as I moved away we lost touch. A couple of years ago we reconnected via Facebook and even though I lived aboard he would call me several times a week. When I moved back we started dating and the last six months were incredible. We never argued and even though we live an hour apart we made it work and saw each other at least once a week. Suddenly out of the blue he started acting weird and he sent me a text saying he was having some doubts about how well our relationship was going. I tried to get him to go more in depth but he changed the subject and just said he would shake the feeling. Two days later he showed up at my work, hugged me and told me we should just be friends. I was in shock and I really didn't get a chance to ask him what happened. He said that he missed me too much and it wasn't working. Before he left he beg me to call him. I let him have his space and the only time I contacted him was a few days after the breakup and it was only to say that I was having a hard time understanding what happened and if he wanted to be friends then we needed to talk it though at some point. He replied something about being too busy with work to talk to me. A week after the break up he posted on my Facebook wall that he thinks I'm great. Two weeks after the break up he sent me a text saying. that he just wanted to me know that he was going to take a trip to mexico. I wish him a safe trip and told him to have fun. He kept writing back about how great it was going to be. A few days ago I sent him an email saying that a break up properly was the best thing for both of us and I didn't hold it against him. In his reply he called me sweetheart, told me that he still had a great deal of love for me and that misses my wealth of knowledge. I feel like he is constantly sending me mix signals and nothing in his post break up behaviour has provided me with any kind of indication as to what when wrong. Does anybody else have a similar experience or any insight as to what this guy is thinking?
mabaha Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 To me he sounds insecure of himself. He is playing himself around like a switch. I would suggest that you just leave him on his own...if he contacts you by whatever means, just take your time and you can choose to reply or otherwise.....if you are destined to be with him, no matter how far apart you both are, you will be somehow reconnected..You have a life ahead of you so you should not let this affair stall you from doing whatever you should towards happiness. Time will heal everything. Best of luck and health.
Am4Real Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 He seems to be exhibiting signs of a person who has met someone else and feels torn about leaving you for these other feelings or person. His kind words and confusing signals lend credibility to his likely heartfelt guilt and, his check-ins seem to be a way to keep tabs on your emotional well being. I think as you communicate you’re doing well his communications will become less frequent. Are you sure you’re okay with his on and off communications? As you start to realize there may be someone else in his life, perhaps on this Mexico trip, it is most probably going to wreak havoc on you emotionally? The other risk is his running back to you if this other person does not work out for him. You should at least mentally groom yourself for such a possibility and be well prepared beforehand about how you will treat such a possibility. Of course it is totally plausible he just fell out of love with you and prefers to be alone for now and there is no other person, however I would have thought you would be witness to some sort of deterioration in the relationship, yet you describe everything as wonderful right up until you had this little no-love bomb dropped on you. Keep us posted and best wishes, Am4Real
SerenaG Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Yeah I got that too. Seemed to be going really well for 6 months - then 2 weeks of him pulling away and then the talk. I'm really great, he loves spending time with me, he's attracted to me but just isn't emotionally feeling it anymore. I'm not entirely sure if it was just a change of heart or if there was someone else in the picture. I thought about contacting him to talk more about it but kept chickening out until it finally got to the point where I didn't need to know the details anymore. I'm actually glad now I didn't engage in any agonizing over-analysis with him. Not sure there were any answers that would have made me feel better. I wish you the best in getting the answers you need but take heart that the need to know will fade.
Faruiza Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 As someone who has broken up with someone I really cared about, this is my guess. He really does care for you but decided that it wasn't right to continue. Anyway, he's being nice and sweet to you because it feels better to HIM to be nice and sweet. The best thing however, is to be straight and if you want to end it, to sever contact, or when you do contact be very basic and not how you used to be. That;s the kindest and least confusing way to be. I realised this after behaving in the wrong way in one relationship and realising I was confusing him terribly. In the next one when that ended, I behaved better and just vanished completely, even though it was v hard. I hope that helps. You could tell him his behaviour is confusing and not to contact you unless he means anything serious by it.
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