lalasweetheart Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I'm not sure where to start but here goes nothing. I met this guy in high school and loved him since the day I met him. It felt like I'd known him all my life. I've never believed in the idea of soul-mates but to try and describe the way I feel about him it is a good description. Anyway, we've always been mates since then (now almost 10 years later) and I still feel the same way about him. This guy was never interested in me that way and it really did my head in. It took me about a year of no contact to feel like I was starting to move on with my life and then I met a beautiful, wonderful man. We've been together for four years and I love him with all my heart, but for the past six months I haven't been interested in sex and I've been dreaming about this other guy again. One night I dreamed that we were together and when I woke up and found it wasn't real I cried my heart out. Two days ago I went to see this friend and we had a couple of drinks and he told me that he loved me. I would never ever cheat on my partner but when we ended up in bed together I didn't feel like I was cheating at all. So I cried and cried all day yesterday and eventually went home, I told my partner that I didn't love him anymore and that it was over. He said he'd felt something had changed a while ago but he'd always thought that we'd get through it. I've been crying ever since and I want to know that if I've done the right thing, then why does it hurt so much? I have lost one of the best friends that I have ever had and I feel like my hearts been ripped out. I do still love him so much and I would have married him if he'd asked, I feel so lost
Am4Real Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 You've lost your best friend and gained a new one (plus a lover)...what can we say, you made your choice and, there are always consequences in eachdecision we make. Now you must live with this one and hopefully be very, very, happy in good time. Best wishes, Am4Real
Author lalasweetheart Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Thanks for the support, it's appreciated. I've never been in a relationship that was serious enough to upset me before this one. Is it normal to be this upset? I haven't stopped crying since
Am4Real Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Thanks for the support, it's appreciated. I've never been in a relationship that was serious enough to upset me before this one. Is it normal to be this upset? I haven't stopped crying since Normal -- what is normal? Who knows the answer to that one? Well no doubt after a serious relationship there were certain loyalties, feelings and particular emotions. You deciding to sleep with his friend and then tell him you wanted out has reversed the normal occurrences leading up to a new relationship, so that is likely very trying for you but it happens frequently. On the bright and honest side you confronted this new situation immediately and did the right thing for your EX and for you….by deciding on a new direction for yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Your EX was a good friend but he wasn’t your forever lover and soul mate that you desire, it sounds more live convenience. This "new one" may not be that person either but at least you’ve come to terms with what you need and want in your life and by knowing what you REALLY" want you will be best positioned to find it. Go get’em!!
GreenPolicy Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) I'll tell you what you did wrong: you should have left your boyfriend sometime in the past six months BEFORE deciding to seek out this dude from your past. You don't have any integrity. Edited February 14, 2011 by GreenPolicy
Author lalasweetheart Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 GreenPolicy- I know that and I don't feel like a good person at all. I was lying to myself for the past six months and couldn't bear the truth. I went to visit my cousin and we ended up going out with this guy, it wasn't planned. But it just felt so right that I couldn't deny it. I know this is no exscuse I just want to be understood
Am4Real Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 GreenPolicy- I know that and I don't feel like a good person at all. I was lying to myself for the past six months and couldn't bear the truth. I went to visit my cousin and we ended up going out with this guy, it wasn't planned. But it just felt so right that I couldn't deny it. I know this is no exscuse I just want to be understood Reposting for you: Don’t be too hard on yourself. Your EX was a good friend but he wasn’t your forever lover and soul mate that you desire, it sounds more live convenience.
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