Wonderin Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 My fiance and I have been together for 11 months. She is a teacher and has a good friend that is a single male teacher. He frequently joined us when we went out with friend. Well about 3 months ago I became suspicious of a text conversation they were having. She just said it was him but it went on for awhile. She wouldnt answer a lot of questions. So I looked at her phone later that night when she was in the shower. I know that was bad but she didnt volunteer anything. He asked her is she ever considered dating him. This was before we were engaged. She said she definately would have dated him. The conversation continued with him saying when he went out earlier in the year with her and I that he didnt know she was seeing anyone (me) and that he had hoped to hook up with her. The conversation ended not long after that. I have been insecure since then because they spend a lot of time together. When I asked her to marry me and she said yes my fear went away until one day a month later I came home from work on a friday (early) and she wasnt there. I texted a few times over the next hour with no response. Not like her not to respond or at least tell me where she was. I then tried calling and texting more with elevated concern in my messages. She finally respoonded to say she was at the gambling boat with friends from work to relax everything was fine. I questioned why she didnt tell me when she was on the way there and she had no good answer. I found out that guy co worker was the only person from work there. She came home irritated and then went out with her friends later and didnt answer a lot of texts and didnt come home until 2:15 am. I was very distraught. When she fell asleep (passed out) I found out that he and her had texted that something had gone on between them that night. He said we it just me or did that feel just so right. She said yes she had been wondering what it would be like for a while now. He said he wasnt disappointed. She said she wasnt either. He said there had to be a lot of thoughts going through her head and she said yes there were? She explained it (after saying I shouldnt be looking at her phone) that I tool them out of context? We are now mostly split up due to my concerns and mis-trust. Am I founded in my concerns?
FryFish Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Yes you are. She either ****ed him or kissed him... given that it was 215am my money is on sex. Either way she cheated. Dont marry her.
Imajerk17 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) Break up with her. Don't even give an explanation. She was out with him, and whether anything did happen between them (and it did but that's actually besides the point), she disrespected you and your relationship big-time. A big part of being faithful is not giving even the *appearance* of cheating. If she went into his bedroom and they just played cards (I know fat chance but humor me anyway), that is still not being faithful. That said, you better believe something happened. Edited February 14, 2011 by Imajerk17
Ay Diesel T Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I'm a firm believer in privacy here but bro look, you were insecure for a reason. Look what happened? Not only does she know he has a thing for her, but she's going out with him alone...SECRETELY. Last but not least, yes I do think she cheated on you bro. And I'd thoroughly **** that guy up if I ever saw him. To mess with another man's woman knowing that she's taken, and he knows you personally? Hell no, that is unacceptable. There'd be no talking on my part, I'd just go right for the kisser. But listen, don't do that. What you need to do is end it with your girlfriend, it's obvious there's something going on between them. I'm sorry bro, I really am. Don't listen to your heart at this point.
lavalamp Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Normally I don't side with the people that sneak around and look at there significant others texts and stuff, but I think you're right this time. If they both acknowledged that something happened I think it's time to end it.
Chi townD Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Don't feel bad about snooping. You have every right to know what's going on in your relationship especially if she promised herself to you. And yeah, I agree that something did happen. Sorry. But, at least you found out now rather than when your married and starting a family.
Chi townD Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 and I wouldn't put it as "almost split up" because of your lack of trust. I would say "almost split up" because of her deceit.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 We are now mostly split up due to my concerns and mis-trust. Am I founded in my concerns? Get her out of your life. Otherwise she will destroy all that's good about you.
EmperorR Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 She cheated run, I know you want to give It another chance but run. She won't admit it cheaters never do, the last girl I dated I was using her computer and went into her chat log and she was talking about how good it felt with her ex bf and you know what she told me they were just talking about old times haha Cheaters never ever admit it Run now
samspade Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Think about this. Suppose she didn't cheat but the rest of your story is the same. Is this the woman you want to marry? She doesn't check in, won't answer questions, texts single guys from work, hangs out til 2.15 a.m., gets irritated by your obvious concern, etc., etc. A woman with true investment in her man would never even let the APPEARANCE of cheating take place. Does that make sense? She would do NOTHING to jeopardize her investment in her man, lest she lose him. Your fiancee obviously cares very little whether she loses you. Give her a dose of karma and break it off - forever. If you want to go nuclear, just tell her "Is it just me or does that feel so right?" She'll get the picture.
Maggotface Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Go with your gut feeling! Do you honestly believe that nothing happened between them? If those texts dont scream it at you then her body language and her mood changes should. She's irritable and distant, would rather spend all night with a single guy friend who wants to hook up with her. Is that the type of wife you want? If not either get rid of her or if you are willing to over look her cheating then she needs to cut all ties and work on fixing things between you two.
Recommended Posts