alisha23 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 if a guy you are talking to does the following: -always assumes, expects YOU to plan dates/night out and shows no initiative to do it himself but shows up every time you do -always expects or assumes YOU to initiate the text messages, but responds when you do initiate. -doesn't like talking on phone, only texts -usually waits, even if it has been days without contact or doesn't respond unless YOU start the conversation even when he is clearly not busy because you can see him online/ or on face book! are these signs of a manipulative man? background- i have been talking to this guy for the past two months. he is a resident doctor-so often very busy. we have only met once due to conflicting school/work schedules. and he canceled on our last date plans due to work related emergency and bad weather-even though he made the effort and apologized saying weather must be taken into account next time, he made no mention of future plans! i was upset, so i just said " yes it should, esp since the distance and confcliting schedules are already a strain" i got NO reply to that. but the next day was his b-day so i sent a happy b-day text to which he responded with a thank you!. but he didn't say anything else- i didn't text him either and now its been 6 days without contact. is he interested still, or waiting for me to initiate contact? or simply manipulating me for the past 2 months?
daphne Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Those aren't necessarily signs of a manipulator. That alone, I'd have to say no. What it is saying, however, is that his interest level is really low and/or he's very passive about dating. If you feel this strongly about it, you should probably move on and find someone who is much more interested and willing to man up to pursue you a little bit. A lot of guys don't actually like being pursued.
Nexus One Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 You can be online on Skype and Facebook 24/7 these days on your smartphone, people tend to not think about that yet as it's still a fairly new thing to the masses. Also if he's a doctor he might want to keep his phone line open for patients/emergencies.
carhill Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 IMO, that sounds more like someone who doesn't care. A manipulator says and does things which impel one to *believe* that they care, but the whole process is a puzzle designed to take advantage of the mark, whether that be for money, emotional validation, sex, whatever. This is most common with people who 'think' intimate relationships rather than 'feel' them. Love is a mathematical equation which they compute to benefit themselves. This guy, IMO, without further information to the contrary, is sending great big smoke signals that his interest level is low. If he were hot and cold, and you had something he wanted, like sex, and he was hot before he got and it cold after, then I'd think more about manipulation. In any event, leave the doctor to his patients. Find yourself a man who *is* interested in you and proactive about showing that interest. Good luck
TaurusTerp Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Hes not manipulating you, he's just too busy and/or not interested.
lois_80 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Yeah, it sounds like he's not interested but isn't doing a very good job showing it. I don't get a manipulator vibe though.
waynebrady Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 -always assumes, expects YOU to plan dates/night out and shows no initiative to do it himself but shows up every time you do -always expects or assumes YOU to initiate the text messages, but responds when you do initiate. -doesn't like talking on phone, only texts -usually waits, even if it has been days without contact or doesn't respond unless YOU start the conversation even when he is clearly not busy because you can see him online/ or on face book! Women do that ALL the time. Extremley few women ever plan dates or initiate contact. I find it ridicilous that women have the nerve to say men who are like that are manipulative... Because guess what? Going by the same logic the vast majority of all women are manipulative.
waynebrady Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Those aren't necessarily signs of a manipulator. That alone, I'd have to say no. What it is saying, however, is that his interest level is really low and/or he's very passive about dating. If you feel this strongly about it, you should probably move on and find someone who is much more interested and willing to man up to pursue you a little bit. A lot of guys don't actually like being pursued. Then going by the same logic all womens intrest in men is infact really low... I already knew you women were a passive bunch though.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Not a manipulator, just a guy who isn't all that interested and is probably dating someone else.
Gypsy_Soul Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I sort of dated a guy like this not too long ago. Everyone on here told me he was lazy and seemed uninterested. Sounds like the same guy except yours is a Doctor and mine was a contractor for the Air Force.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Yeah, I'd say he isn't very interested. He is a doctor, but even doctors make an effort to date despite their busy schedules. I would just stop initiating contact for right now, if he wants you he'll come get you.
Kamille Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 if a guy you are talking to does the following: -always assumes, expects YOU to plan dates/night out and shows no initiative to do it himself but shows up every time you do -always expects or assumes YOU to initiate the text messages, but responds when you do initiate. How do you know what he expects and assume? Could it be he's just not thinking about it? -doesn't like talking on phone, only texts How do you know this? Has he told you so? -usually waits, even if it has been days without contact or doesn't respond unless YOU start the conversation even when he is clearly not busy because you can see him online/ or on face book! What makes you think he is intentionally waiting for you to make contact? Unless you've had a discussion where he openly stated he wants you to make the first move, there is no discernible intention to his lack of action. I think you perceive an intention because you're interested and therefore reading into things. I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm saying it because I used to do the same thing and waste my time on guys who weren't interested - or not interested enough. My advice to you: learn to let men make the first move. If they don't, next them.
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