Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 See I find this annoying, and I know it's not just women... But why on earth isn't a 27 year old man considered a man? Why must he be 30+, divorced, maybe have a kid, etc to be a man? I mean seriously, I'm 24, I'm educated, i've traveled, I have life experience, own my car, pay my own bills, live on my own, etc.... When I'm 27 I'll have more of the same plus be making damn good money. Hopefully by that time I'll be looking to settle down with someone too.... So what do we have to do, to be considered men in your eyes. I mean seriously I'm tired of people 10 years older than me treating me like a kid. I'm an adult. I work. I pay taxes, just like you guys do. /end rant. Seriously though you really should give some of these younger guys a chance. Who cares what other people think if they make you happy. Life is too short as it is. I mean is it really that big of a difference (you mid 30s and them mid-late 20s)? Hell women live like ~6 years longer than men do anyway. Sounds like the math will work out just right. That was a cute rant. Sorry. I couldn't resist that one. I hear you. Yes, I have admitted to condescension when it comes to the younger guys. I don't know exactly where it comes from. Maybe Cee's right, I'm distancing myself. Or maybe sometimes I don't have full respect because there are quite a few that really act immature. I tend to be more surprised whan a guy your age is mature and serious and "gets it." And when I see that I wonder why I never met that guy when I was that age. I dunno. We'll see. I'm flirting for now. It would take a monumental paradigm shift for me to let go of caring what other people think in order to have one as a bf though. I don't think I'd deal well with someone calling me a cougar.
Nukulus Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 It was cute... Ahh see that's seems like such a bad attitude to have. I agree with you that many people my age aren't that mature, and don't get it. Some are mature though. Some do get it. Some know what they want (not sure I do haha). It just seems sad that you'd let any decent guy go simply because someone might call you a cougar, or misjudge you. Having said that, I'd think you'd be judge more as a cougar if your were just casually dating these 20 somethings, rather than having a legitimate relationship with one if the opportunity came. I, personally would just see you as toying with them just for entertainment purposes rather than taking them seriously. That fit's the mold of what I would consider a cougar more than a slightly older woman who is in a relationship with a younger guy. Just my opinion. I hope you find your "forever" guy in an acceptable age range sooner than later.
Alma Mobley Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 My husband is ten and a half years younger than I am. We got married two and a half years ago and have a 10-month-old son. And he is DEFINITELY a man, not a boy. I had the same problem out in the dating world of mainly attracting younger men who thought I was in their age group. A lot of them were immature, but not all of them. My now-husband was one of the mature ones. Don't go out with a man if he is immature, but don't rule him out simply based on a number. There are men in their 20s who are mature. I have a friend whose father is a funeral director. He pounded it into her head to date only younger men because of the fact that its the women usually left behind when the husband dies. When I asked my dad what he thought about my dating a younger man, he said the same thing!
Gypsy_Soul Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I say go for it! You live only once, at least you can say you had the experience of younger men. Southern men are usually very traditional with good values. So find out if it's so for the younger ones. So I sign up for online to meet guys my age. When I go out, the young ones ask me out. I go online, find a lot of guys my age. Yet STILL, these boys are asking me out. I thought it was funny at first. But now that it's been months and I still haven't found someone to be in a relationship with, I'm kind of taking a second look. There are 3 right now that are stinkin adorable. All 3 blonde and one very, very sweet and Southern. Just the way I like 'em (sweet and Southern that is.) Except maybe 10 years older. lol I guess part of it is that sometimes the young ones don't bother playing games and can be uber sweet. While some of the guys my age are playing rotation with 50 women and won't stop playing. Sigh. I know this is so self defeating. But the flirtation is fun.
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Nuke- What's wrong with entertainment? Don't guys do that all of the time My problem is I get emotionally attached if there's intimacy. So, I have to wait til I find someone I like enough to want to get attached to. Alma- You go girl. I wouldn't want to date an immature one. It's only if the guy stuck out as someone that really had his head on his shoulders and was looking for the same things. That's generally why there don't seem to be many with long term prospects. You want different things at certain points in your life. gorgeous- Yeah, I do love the Southern guys. Preferably without the accent, with the charm and door opening/chair pulling/pampering features. We'll have to see. I think when I mentioned that I joined the site to meet guys my age to the Southern one, he may have interpreted that to mean I'm not interested. Although I did tell him I was open minded. I thought about it, and realized taht I probably have a bad taste in my mouth from a guy I dated a long time ago. There was a big age gap, but I went with it and opened up and got crushed. I really liked the guy a lot, and should have been much more cautious. He lied and ended up being a pretty immature person. We're still friends now, but I don't think I trust younger guys to be honest or really know what they want. If I were to be honest, most of the guys I end up dating do tend to be younger. I just prefer to have them in striking distance and know we listened to the same music, remember the same political events growing up etc. Who knows. I'll try to keep an open mind.
Cee Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) Just some random thoughts: When a person has self-confidence, it doesn't matter what people think. Your confidence and happiness sets the stage for how other people assess the relationship. If someone disapproves of an age difference, it's akin to a form of prejudice. I mean if you brought a woman home or man of a different race, people may judge. But those are people you don't want in your life anyway. I've been around the dating scene long enough to have been hurt by men of all ages. And of many different attributes. There's no way to protect myself based on a his numbers, but I must look at how he treats me. My problem is a give men the benefit of the doubt too much. In retrospect, I should've nexted people faster. Edited February 14, 2011 by Cee
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Just some random thoughts: When a person has self-confidence, it doesn't matter what people think. I have plenty of self confidence, but I do care too much of what other people think. Most people do. And as far as not nexting people faster. I hear ya sister. I wish I knew back then the things I know now. Holy crap there would have been a lot more dates and having fun, and most of my exes would not have been my bf's/husband/fiance to begin with!
Author daphne Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 Tee hee. Two of my cuties wished me a Happy Valentine's Day today and one called me gorgeous. And here I was feeling sorry for myself.
Tigerbalm Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Lemme guess. You're somewhere in your early to mid 30's? I can relate. The old guys are generally my dad's age and I've found that amusing. It's either old or young. Few in the middle. Stop hanging out where 20 year old men go and you will stop attracting them. But then I kinda think reading your posts you get a kick out of it.
dispatch3d Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 LOL. I feel ya sister. I have to deal with it from guy friends I have shot down before. But I'm ok with it. At the end of the day some of them are jealous because they can't attract the same people I do (well, female equivalent.) Who said men can't be catty bitches? It's not my fault they don't keep themselves up and get to the gym on occasion. eeeee you make me want to "divorce" the girls I'm friends with hahaha
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