Kamille Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Please don't refer to men as "pretty", regardless of their age. Are we allowed to refer to robots as pretty?
Nexus One Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I don't chase period, but there's always a negative connotation associated to an older woman/younger man scenario. I'm guessing those "connotations" come from fellow/peer women? Because I don't see how guys would see it as a problem. And the fact that they are contacting you kind of affirms that point.
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I have a friend whose father is a funeral director. He pounded it into her head to date only younger men because of the fact that its the women usually left behind when the husband dies. ty. :lmao: Well, he's a very practical man.
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Stop caring what people thing and live your life the way you want. Lol. I dated a younger guy when I was younger (much smaller gap than with the 22 yr old), and he told me the same thing.
johan Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Are we allowed to refer to robots as pretty? Yes. As long as you follow it with "sexy" or "awesome". Or if it comes out in the midst of a naked, sweaty embrace.
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Please don't refer to men as "pretty", regardless of their age. Well, they're not really men yet at 27 are they? They're pretty boys Yeah I said it.
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Is there a rule that says you can't write to the guys you find interesting? The ones in your preferred age-range. I have been. It hasn't been working out with those guys because some have been a little flakey, have kid in a candy shop syndrome or something missing.
Imajerk17 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 You know, women who complain about not getting the right prospects are usually not being proactive enough in their search. Their only prospects are the ones who contact them first. Daphne, may I ask if you ever write first to the guys you want? The ones in your preferred age range. Your response rate will probably be quite high.
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I'm guessing those "connotations" come from fellow/peer women? Because I don't see how guys would see it as a problem. And the fact that they are contacting you kind of affirms that point. Yes. But more so from men. Guys my own age can be a little snarky about it. I think in a couple of circumstances it was because I wasn't interested in them.
Imajerk17 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I have been. It hasn't been working out with those guys because some have been a little flakey, have kid in a candy shop syndrome or something missing. LOL, this problem seems to be universal. I see women who have been on Match for at least as long as I have been on. As a guy who has gone on a bunch of "great" dates only to see the women disappear/become weird, it is universal. It's tough out there, for everyone. The thing with the younger guys is that they often tend to be looking for a "mommy" and a girlfriend in the same woman. They haven't experienced life, and they are looking to get that from someone who has. This isn't to say that every young guy is like that, but many of them are.
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 You know, women who complain about not getting the right prospects are usually not being proactive enough in their search. Their only prospects are the ones who contact them first. Daphne, may I ask if you ever write first to the guys you want? The ones in your preferred age range. Your response rate will probably be quite high. Of course I don't write the guys first. I'm old fashioned. Plus, I get a lot of responses and it takes a long time to get through those. I have no desire to spend my life searching for more. I do get a large number of guys in my age range. Of those guys, a lot end up on a rotation and I rule them out when I see they aren't really focused (if it takes us 3-4 weeks to ever meet, I lose interest.) I have met a few of them, and unfortunately that hasn't panned out either.
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 It's tough out there, for everyone. You're not kidding, buddy. I've only had one post meet fader, but pre meet faders are frequent. What's interesting is they'll circle back around a month later and expect some sort of welcome home ceremony. lol Or even better, they'll continue to email over and over again as if somehow I forgot that they flaked out. One just winked at me again today, the 4th attempt at contact since he kept flaking. We started talking in 2010!!
Imajerk17 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Of course I don't write the guys first. I'm old fashioned. Plus, I get a lot of responses and it takes a long time to get through those. I have no desire to spend my life searching for more. I do get a large number of guys in my age range. Of those guys, a lot end up on a rotation and I rule them out when I see they aren't really focused (if it takes us 3-4 weeks to ever meet, I lose interest.) I have met a few of them, and unfortunately that hasn't panned out either. If there is any the place NOT to be old-fashioned, it is in writing the guys first. A woman who does that goes up at least 2 points in my book (provided she was at least a 7 to begin with). It is so rare and so refreshing. Who do you think will do better in On Line Dating--those who go for what they want, or those who make do with the prospects that land in their lap because they're "old-fashioned". You can be more "old-fashioned" when you and he are communicating, and then when you're face-to-face.
Imajerk17 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I am in my mid-30's. I see two profiles that interest me. Girl #1 is a 9 in my eyes. Girl #2 is only an 8. Girl #2 actually takes the initiative to write me though. Girl #1 is "old-fashioned" and won't contact me first. Which one do you think I will go out with first. Yes, that's right. Girl #2. If things work out with Girl #2 I won't even get to Girl #1.
Cee Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Well, they're not really men yet at 27 are they? They're pretty boys Yeah I said it. A 18 year old who can go to war and die is a man. I think it's offensive to call grown men boys. Just as I got offended when men called me in my youth a girl. (Although, I now would prefer to be called a girl than a lady. I am no lady, thank you very much ) I think of my brother-in-law at age 27- he was working a full time job and supporting his wife (my sister) with her new baby. My sister is 9 years older than him. Daphne, I think you are putting down younger men as a way of distancing yourself from your attraction to them. Trust me, age is not that great a factor is determining suitability and stability. You are allowed to give yourself permission to love the one who suits you best.
johan Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 You just need to meet me. I'm age appropriate.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I think it's funny how bitter, closed-minded men come in these threads to remind women of our "shelf life". If we're getting older and younger men want us just the way we are, good for us! I know jealousy's a biatch, but get over it.
Imajerk17 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 You're not kidding, buddy. I've only had one post meet fader, but pre meet faders are frequent. What's interesting is they'll circle back around a month later and expect some sort of welcome home ceremony. lol Or even better, they'll continue to email over and over again as if somehow I forgot that they flaked out. One just winked at me again today, the 4th attempt at contact since he kept flaking. We started talking in 2010!! I've had a few flakers. I hate that. I really try to be considerate of other people's feelings and not flake. They circle back for you though? That's pretty good. I don't even get that. I did "flake" on one girl for a few weeks. We were supposed to get together (we hadn't set something specific up yet) after the holidays but I met someone in the meanwhile. I did write her a email afterward apologizing for my flakiness, and explaining the situation--I met someone else, and I kept on putting off contacting her (guilt, who knew if it would work out the the woman I was seeing) to "next week".
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I am in my mid-30's. I see two profiles that interest me. Girl #1 is a 9 in my eyes. Girl #2 is only an 8. Girl #2 actually takes the initiative to write me though. Girl #1 is "old-fashioned" and won't contact me first. Which one do you think I will go out with first. Yes, that's right. Girl #2. If things work out with Girl #2 I won't even get to Girl #1. Well, then I guess we'll never meet, Ima. Cos I want a guy who wants me the way I am. Old fashioned and all. I do not like pursuing men.
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 You are allowed to give yourself permission to love the one who suits you best. There might be something to that... needing permission because it feels wrong. hmm..
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 You just need to meet me. I'm age appropriate. I thought I had to give you some sort of sweaty, naked embrace or something? That's entirely too progressive for my style of dating.
january2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Very true. I guess I haven't thought of it that way. But yes, sometimes I am a little condescending about it. Most of the time these boys say the goofiest things. Part of the reason I'm not that drawn to most. However, the biggest reason for me to not want a relationship with someone that much younger (although I think it's awesome that you are,) is because I want to settle down and have the forever thing. And as much as I live more in the moment than I ever did, I don't want to waste my good years and end up empty handed if you know waht I mean. lol. Yes, I sound old fashioned cos I kinda am. I want Mr. Right. And to me, Mr. Youngin would be Mr. Right now. Maybe pretty, maybe fun as hell, but not my forever guy. Granted, who knows if I'll find that guy any time soon so maybe Mr. Right now wouldn't be such a bad idea. *nods* I know that in this day and age, the forever thing can be quite hard to come by but I don't want to end up in the same situation I'm in at the moment where I lose a guy to an MLC because he hadn't 'lived' and decided to re-live his glory days by hooking up with an ex-girlfriend from his late teens. I realise that there are no guarantees. However, a girl can dream, can't she? Hear, hear. He doesn't know what he's going to want later at such a young age. He doesn't yet know who he is. I guess we're all that way at 22 though, aren't we? What's funny is how a 22 year old knows what he wants (or thinks he does), and there are 50 year olds who still don't. You'd think they have had an ABUNDANCE of time to figure it out already. Yes, indeedy If only he were 10-15 years older, I'd be sorted. Alas...
Nukulus Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Well, they're not really men yet at 27 are they? They're pretty boys Yeah I said it. See I find this annoying, and I know it's not just women... But why on earth isn't a 27 year old man considered a man? Why must he be 30+, divorced, maybe have a kid, etc to be a man? I mean seriously, I'm 24, I'm educated, i've traveled, I have life experience, own my car, pay my own bills, live on my own, etc.... When I'm 27 I'll have more of the same plus be making damn good money. Hopefully by that time I'll be looking to settle down with someone too.... So what do we have to do, to be considered men in your eyes. I mean seriously I'm tired of people 10 years older than me treating me like a kid. I'm an adult. I work. I pay taxes, just like you guys do. /end rant. Seriously though you really should give some of these younger guys a chance. Who cares what other people think if they make you happy. Life is too short as it is. I mean is it really that big of a difference (you mid 30s and them mid-late 20s)? Hell women live like ~6 years longer than men do anyway. Sounds like the math will work out just right.
Author daphne Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I think it's funny how bitter, closed-minded men come in these threads to remind women of our "shelf life". If we're getting older and younger men want us just the way we are, good for us! I know jealousy's a biatch, but get over it. LOL. I feel ya sister. I have to deal with it from guy friends I have shot down before. But I'm ok with it. At the end of the day some of them are jealous because they can't attract the same people I do (well, female equivalent.) Who said men can't be catty bitches? It's not my fault they don't keep themselves up and get to the gym on occasion.
Kamille Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 See I find this annoying, and I know it's not just women... But why on earth isn't a 27 year old man considered a man? Why must he be 30+, divorced, maybe have a kid, etc to be a man? I mean seriously, I'm 24, I'm educated, i've traveled, I have life experience, own my car, pay my own bills, live on my own, etc.... When I'm 27 I'll have more of the same plus be making damn good money. Hopefully by that time I'll be looking to settle down with someone too.... So what do we have to do, to be considered men in your eyes. I mean seriously I'm tired of people 10 years older than me treating me like a kid. I'm an adult. I work. I pay taxes, just like you guys do. /end rant. Applause! Seriously Daphne, you were not kidding when you said you could be condescending to these men. Why though?
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