Xewkija Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I wanted to see what everyones take was on this. Do you think you will have a better relationship with your partner if you have sex very often or once in a while. It may sound crazy but I was thinking if you had sex like all the time with your partner it will just be like... Here we go again but if you have sex then let the momentum build up maybe after 2 weeks and have sex again it will make you both closer? Or am I just thinking stupid.
FryFish Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 twice a month would be way too little... You dont build up momentum when you are withholding sex, you only build up frustration.
Iconoclast Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Sex, is one of the healthiest things for your mind and body and relationship. More is better unless it causes friction (heh, you know what i mean). There is no set pattern, it's a negotiation to meet the needs of the two.
xxoo Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Sex, if nothing else, is closeness and connection. As long as it is mutually desired, regular sex brings a couple closer. IME, the more sex I have, the more I want it. Also, the more sex WE have, the closer I feel to H. But that might be a chicken:egg thing--do we have more sex because we feel close, or do we feel close because we have more sex?
carhill Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 My datapoint, for myself, is that intimacy fuels sexual desire so the extant intimacy dynamic and its ebb and flow affect my libido and sexual desire. IMO, whatever one's 'style', it's critical to find a partner who is compatible with that style, at least to a point where any differences can be negotiated in a mutually healthy way. As a gross example, for myself, a partner who liked sex but otherwise expressed little intimacy would be, if non-negotiable, incompatible. I would feel like I was making love with a stranger. For a person with a different intimacy style, this would be a non-issue. At the other end of the spectrum, if distance seperated us, the intimacy level would focus my sexual desire on my partner, rather than sex being a separate, and easily re-directed, general desire. For another, more generally libidinous psychology, distance might impel a wandering eye, since sex is the primary focus and one's partner isn't available to satisfy it. Compatibility. OP, sexual frequency is healthy when it meets *both* your and your partner's needs and desires. That could be twice a day or twice a month. Everyone is different. If you're actually thinking 'here we go again' with a tone to those thoughts/feelings, it's time for some clear and open communication. Good luck
Macaw Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I prefer it very often, but I value other aspects of the sex itself higher than the orgasm.
Whatshername Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 If you are close.....more sex equals being closer.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Hmm, I think it depends on the couple really. My husband I find that if we have sex a few times a week it is more special then having it everyday. Gives us to chance to miss each other.
trinity1 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Sex, if nothing else, is closeness and connection. As long as it is mutually desired, regular sex brings a couple closer. IME, the more sex I have, the more I want it. Also, the more sex WE have, the closer I feel to H. But that might be a chicken:egg thing--do we have more sex because we feel close, or do we feel close because we have more sex? I think the bolded above is typical for women. If we don't have sex available, we can pretty much turn off our sex drive. Once we have sex, the sex drive is turned on again. This is why women can have multiple orgasms in my opinion. Once isn't enough. We just want more. Unless you are one of those women who don't care for sex. I never could understand that.
OWoman Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 A lot :love: :love: My H and I are both very passionate people, with high libidos. We typically have sex three or four times a day, sometimes more, sometimes fewer, depending on circumstance and mood. We are very close in other ways, and the sex helps cement that. Sometimes we make love, and sometimes we phuk, and sometimes we move between the two. My H is very big on PDAs and struggled without those in his previous M, and I'm a naturally tactile person so even when we're doing something mundane - like working - we often sit close together, touching, being intimate without being overtly sexual. If we were prevented from having as much sexual contact as we would like, we'd survive - but since there are no extrinsic reasons limiting the amount we can have, we have settled on a rhythm and an amount that works for us. Any more, and we'd never get any work done and we'd probably need to feast off the blood of young virgins to keep our energy levels high enough...
jimfaster Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Its totally depends on you and your partner.
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