xpaperxcutx Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I wish I wouldn't have the need to post this and in fact, I contemplated several times whether writing this out would actually be therapeutic or completely devastate me. He has a girlfriend. The guy who I was dating and seeing only until recently is in a relationship with another girl after we had slept together. When he told me, I literally broke down, but I didn't really started to cry about things until this morning, and even now I'm feeling slightly numb over the whole ordeal. He offered me friendship, but if there was one thing I hated more than being a doormat, it's pretending to be friendly to someone who slighted me.
january2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I'm so sorry, xpaperxcutx I agree that you should say, "no" to friendship.
mo mo Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 That sucks. I know I criticized you before for something you said to him, but we all make mistakes. Still though, you didn't deserve that kind of treatment. He should have been more honest with you. Keep your head up! You deserve better and with this experience you will learn to pick up on signals and react accordingly. You will be much stronger in the future, even if you feel sad now.
hopefully Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Don't be friends with him. He doesn't have the integrity you deserve to be part of your life. Hugs.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 That sucks. I know I criticized you before for something you said to him, but we all make mistakes. Still though, you didn't deserve that kind of treatment. He should have been more honest with you. Keep your head up! You deserve better and with this experience you will learn to pick up on signals and react accordingly. You will be much stronger in the future, even if you feel sad now. I wouldn't call him a cheater because he's not, he merely decided that he wanted a relationship with another girl after we slept together, I should have made that clear. I don't know what I did to have prompted him to move on so quickly ( in fact we never really stopped seeing each other) but to have him tell me that he got into a relationship after we slept together makes me feel so low about myself. If he had liked me, he wouldn't have done what he did.
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I wish I wouldn't have the need to post this and in fact, I contemplated several times whether writing this out would actually be therapeutic or completely devastate me. He has a girlfriend. The guy who I was dating and seeing only until recently is in a relationship with another girl after we had slept together. When he told me, I literally broke down, but I didn't really started to cry about things until this morning, and even now I'm feeling slightly numb over the whole ordeal. He offered me friendship, but if there was one thing I hated more than being a doormat, it's pretending to be friendly to someone who slighted me. What an a-hole! I'm so angry for you!!!!!!!!!!!! He's a complete idiot! I am sorry that you're hurting. Atleast now you get grieve and let go, forget him and yes, don't bother with any friendship. He has some balls to even bring that up! Just shows (again) what an a-hole he truly is! Have a good cry, then get yourself into the shower, get dressed up and call a fun girlfriend, go out and see fun (funny) movie and don't let this ahole get you down! He's not worth your tears!
mo mo Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I wouldn't call him a cheater because he's not, he merely decided that he wanted a relationship with another girl after we slept together, I should have made that clear. I don't know what I did to have prompted him to move on so quickly ( in fact we never really stopped seeing each other) but to have him tell me that he got into a relationship after we slept together makes me feel so low about myself. If he had liked me, he wouldn't have done what he did. I understand but you have to keep pushing forward. You will have ups and downs in life but it will always keep going forward. Learn from the past, but don't let past experiences ruin your ambitions for the future.
spackle Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 so sorry to hear that, people do jerky things. I know you're hurting now but think what a crappy bf he'd make if he treats women this way.
Nexus One Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Women should so hire me to be their wing-man. After some face to face time with the guy I'll tell you if he's going to f*ck you over or not. I'm sorry to hear that xpaper. He did screw you over, he had to be more considerate about your feelings, the feelings of his other date and the whole situation.
spackle Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Women should so hire me to be their wing-man. After some face to face time with the guy I'll tell you if he's going to f*ck you over or not. I'm sorry to hear that xpaper. He did screw you over, he had to be more considerate about your feelings, the feelings of his other date and the whole situation. Every woman needs a guy like that!
daphne Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I'm so sorry. He's an ass clown. I kinda feel bad for the other girl too, who probably has no idea he slept with you after he was courting her.
Jannah Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Do you think he was dating her while he was dating you? Because if so, just think about the fact that his now girlfriend, will never know, that the guy she was dating slept with another woman while he was dating her and right before they entered into a relationship. How romantic.
Nexus One Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Every woman needs a guy like that! This is going to sound very superficial and perhaps it is, but there's a business in there somewhere. And it could be a fun job too, lots of traveling, helping out women.
daphne Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 This is going to sound very superficial and perhaps it is, but there's a business in there somewhere. And it could be a fun job too, lots of traveling, helping out women. You're hired.
Roadlesstaken Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I am so sorry Papercut. I know that it hurts. Nexus, you're hired.
Nexus One Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 For fellow LS members I'll charge based on income, that way all of you can afford a wing man. For everyone else I'll charge $450 an hour. Hey don't look at me like that, lawyers charge more and will not fly across the world for you. And besides, it's at those kind of hourly rates that people start taking you seriously. If I had impure intentions, I could hire a whole army of players to help you out and have them provide extra services for your pleasure. When I think about it, I actually know guys that would be able to do the job "in that way". Not only would they be ABLE to do it, they WOULD do it. My destiny is unfolding itself before my eyes. Sweeeet!
Duckduckgoose Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Nexus, you need to get them business cards printed up.
blind_otter Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Women should so hire me to be their wing-man. After some face to face time with the guy I'll tell you if he's going to f*ck you over or not. I'm sorry to hear that xpaper. He did screw you over, he had to be more considerate about your feelings, the feelings of his other date and the whole situation. I agree, wingmen are the best. I also volunteer to be a wingman. I can always be counted on to make it awkward if the guy is a chode!
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Guys as much as I appreciate the gestures and the slightly deviated topic of wingmen ( I'm the one with the broken heart, so I get your services for you free Nexus! ) I'm not really feeling like myself. I just didn't expect it to hit me this hard. I'm trying to stay preoccupied- went to the gym, made lunch, ate, walked my dog, snacked, workout again. I can't stop looking at my phone to be honest. My girlfriend is being really supportive but she has her own problems with her ex, and tomorrow being V-Day, I feel like I just want to eat ice cream and watch sappy romance movies.
blind_otter Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Well this is what I say, likely contrary to the rest of the herd since I've been away from LS for 6 months. But I say feel your feelings. Don't act on them, just sit there and feel them. Allow yourself to feel sad, listen to the part of your heart that is broken and just wants to feel heard. It's ok to be sad after you lose a dream. And then after you're done, take a bath, let all those sad feelings flow into the water, and drain the water. Step out of that bath a nude...and new woman! You are beautiful, you have a right to feel cherished and treasured. Fall in love with yourself again, honey.
Kamille Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Paper I'm really sorry. You truly deserve better. I'm glad you now know the truth though. Peace will come in time. You told this guy you didn't want a relationship, so please, do not take this as a reflection on you. You told him you didn't want a relationship. If there's one thing I've learned about men it's that they'll generally take us at our word. Most guys won't invest emotionally in a woman who's told him she isn't looking for a relationship. (Once you figure out this rule, it makes dealing with men way easier: they'll take you literally... and you should take them at their word too. It's actually quite nice in the long run and definitely helps avoid misunderstandings of the kind you're experiencing.) And if you're ready, please consider this: it's time you face your fears of commitment. If you feel ready for a relationship, say so to the guys you date! Or minimally, don't make pronouncements about what you want until you've gotten to know the guy. It'll save you a lot of heartache.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Paper I'm really sorry. You truly deserve better. I'm glad you now know the truth though. Peace will come in time. You told this guy you didn't want a relationship, so please, do not take this as a reflection on you. You told him you didn't want a relationship. If there's one thing I've learned about men it's that they'll generally take us at our word. Most guys won't invest emotionally in a woman who's told him she isn't looking for a relationship. (Once you figure out this rule, it makes dealing with men way easier: they'll take you literally... and you should take them at their word too. It's actually quite nice in the long run and definitely helps avoid misunderstandings of the kind you're experiencing.) And if you're ready, please consider this: it's time you face your fears of commitment. If you feel ready for a relationship, say so to the guys you date! Or minimally, don't make pronouncements about what you want until you've gotten to know the guy. It'll save you a lot of heartache. Kamille, if I were given a second chance to take back my words I think I would jump for it in a heartbeat. But I'm scared, and my fears prompted me to drive him away. In fact, my girlfriend told me today that I tend to act too nonchalant when I had been with him- it was an extreme form of trying to stay sane and avoid being clingy.
Sanman Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) Kamille, if I were given a second chance to take back my words I think I would jump for it in a heartbeat. But I'm scared, and my fears prompted me to drive him away. In fact, my girlfriend told me today that I tend to act too nonchalant when I had been with him- it was an extreme form of trying to stay sane and avoid being clingy. Hey Papercut, Sorry to hear about the guy. However, I agree with Kamille. Take some time for yourself, but remember this. Remember that even when you run from your feelings you can get hurt. When you meet the next guy worth your time, don't be afraid of our feelings or the truth. You may end up in the same position, but at least you will know that you tried your best and were true to yourself. That is all any of us can really ask of ourselves. Maybe, though, it'll work out and you will get to have those feelings returned you. In the mean time, a little something you might enjoy: Edited February 14, 2011 by Sanman
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