january2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 What dating/relationship advice would you give to your younger self? For example, would you give yourself: a specific warning to stay away from a certain guy/girl?more generic advice that will help your younger self be more successful at dating/relationships?advice about how to get past a certain hang-up that is stopping you from dating or letting go of someone earlier? For the sake of argument, let's assume that your younger self is willing to listen to you and won't get freaked out, etc. My advice to my younger self: "Stop worrying about the past or the future. You'll always land on your feet and things always work out for the best. In the low moments, it won't seem like it, but be reassured that you'll meet someone else who is better for you and you'll wonder why you were so hung up on the previous guy. The 'f*ck it' moments are going to bring you fun and adventure but also a lot of heartache. But you'll pick yourself up every single time. And there will always be friends and family who will support you no matter what." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ And for those not familiar with the song:
Ophelia11 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I would tell myself not to settle just for the sake of settling down.
OpenBook Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Two things I would say to myself above all else... ah, if only I had had the luxury of hindsight back then!!: Stop taking it so personally when someone rejects you or doesn't treat you well. It doesn't take anything away from you. The only mistake you made was putting too much of your heart into them too soon, before you knew. Just get away from them!!Don't put any weight into what men SAY. Pay attention to what they DO. (There are no exceptions to this rule IME. Absolutely none.)
Stung Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Oh, god. I would say so many things. So many, many things.
Author january2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 Oh, god. I would say so many things. So many, many things. Examples, we want examples.
carhill Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 On the subject of romantic interpersonal relationships: ----Avoid the attention whores and 'projects'.---- ----As a marital prospect, invest in a partner with a similar family and social background---- Otherwise, after 51 on this rock, I have no regrets and would have not done anything differently, save for the above. Life has been good
OpenBook Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 A couple more I just thought of... You teach others how to treat you. If you don't define yourself and your boundaries, the world will do it for you - and it won't be a pretty sight.First impressions are so important. Patti Stanger actually came out and said this on her Bravo show Millionaire Matchmaker - Whatever you do on the first date (or meeting) sets the precedent for the rest of the relationship.
Cee Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I would say, "You have already found the greatest love of your life. Yourself. Now start treating her better."
tami-chan Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I would tell myself that only I can give meaning to and complete my life.
EasyHeart Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 1. "Relax, it gets better. Way better." 2. "Never, ever, ever, date a woman named "Jennifer"".
Eeyore79 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I would name roughly half of my exes, and tell my younger self to stay away from them... in particular the couple of guys who screwed me up the most. I would tell myself not to waste my time in sexless relationships with nice guys who I really have no interest in; it's not cruel or stupid to turn down a nice guy because you're not attracted to him, it's actually the sensible thing to do. I'd tell myself that I need to have firmer boundaries regarding who is suitable to date, and that I need to stick by these boundaries and not date unsuitable guys just because I'm lonely or because it boosts my self esteem etc. I'd give myself my curren't bf's address, and tell myself to go and date him because he's a fantastic guy
bayouboi Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 don't bother with relationships, the only person you can trust is yourself
Woggle Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I would tell myself to just have fun and play around instead of trying to rescue a woman who is a lost cause.
USMCHokie Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 1) SLOW DOWN!!! 2) Stop playing the race card. It doesn't matter as much as you think.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 1)Everything's going to be okay. 2) Mistakes don't mean an end to everything. They're a learning process.
LifesBeachy Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Take time for yourself. Live, learn, just be. There will be PLENTY of worthwhile guys to date.... no rush! Romance can bottom out.. you need more than a fantasy -- way more -- to keep it together. A great foundation, communication. Willingness to bend..et al. And I'd say it's OK to be single... Listen. Really, truly listen. All r'ships are a give and take. Just becasue they open up, doesn't mean they're using you. But they have to be willing to open up; It will be vital to create stronger bonds. Listen and respect. It will make you the happiest you've been. .....You've been chasing the wrong dream. And life always has its funny way of working things out. So don't stress out so much:)
somedude81 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Don't wait so long to ask out girls. Ask out anybody that you think you might have a chance with. If a girl rejects you, move on. Do not under any circumstances try to become friends with a girl if you are not dating anybody.
Intricategirl Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 1) Don't multidate. It doesn't matter if all your friends can handle it- you can't. Just don't. 2) Don't settle. 3) Slow your roll. 4) Don't regret falling in love. Even with people who didn't deserve it. I mean really, would you rather you aren't capable of loving?!
depplover_1980 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 'Don't mess it up with this one, always appreciate him cos he's a keeper!' I was with my first bf 7 years and now nearly 5 years on after the split I realise how lucky we were, but took each other for granted.
Cracker Jack Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 "Don't allow yourself to get caught up with a girl who has trouble moving on from her ex. If she was into you as much as she claims, she would focus on you more than him." "If you feel a strong attraction for a girl, let her know and go from there. The more you wait, the more difficult it'll become to tell her. And once you actually tell her after getting to know her for awhile, she would likely prefer to keep the friendship where it is." Ouch! It just hurts thinking about it. Wish I had a time machine:laugh:
folieadeux Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I would tell my younger self to not settle for less than what I know I deserve.
zengirl Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I would tell my younger self a lot of things, though most of them aren't related to love. The one that is would be: Fix yourself, and the rest will follow; this doesn't need to be difficult. I did learn this, but I wish I'd learned it so much earlier. I felt like romance was just destined to be eternally and completely difficult for everyone, but really a lot of what made it so difficult was my own lack of health. Once I fixed my ****, I saw that, yes, there were challenges, but it didn't feel so difficult. Things could flow.
Graviton Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) The world's central and commercial banking elite are trying to transform humanity into a slave race. All money in society is debt. If all people, companies, commercial banks and the government would pay off their debt, there would not be one single cent left in society. The central bankers will create money out of nothing, lend it as debt to the government against interest, which then puts it on commercial bank accounts. The commercial banks will then multiply that money ten fold, known as the fractional reserve banking principle. The central banks will provide the loans to the government so that they can wage illegal wars for the elite. The elite merely wants to expand their power and wealth and quench their blood lust. Human life to them is worthless, except for the fact that a human being can create wealth and that that wealth can be stolen from the human through the interest principle. The commercial banks shall provide the loans to finance the military industrial complex. All paper money will disappear. All communication will be monitored. Satellites with thermal imaging sensors and advanced lenses will be brought into space that can see through your roof and record what you are doing every nanosecond of your life. All human rights since the Magna Carta will be taken away. Everyone will have to pay a high percentage of taxes so that your money can flow to the elite via the interest principle and to the military industrial complex and the militarized police forces with which they will suppress the people. In this way they will make you lower your standard of living so that they can live lives on a level of wealth so high that the majority of human beings will not even believe such lifestyles to exist. So there, that might be an important thing to say. Edited February 14, 2011 by Graviton
hydorclops Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Don't get married. Just find someone that hates you and buy them a house.
carhill Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Hey, I did that and furnished it too :bunny:
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