spackle Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) Not sure this is the correct forum but we'll see how it goes. I've recently gone NC with a guy for a number of reasons but I wanted to gauge your opinions that I'm not overreacting. If you were in a relationship that you were working one - would you consider it inappropriate for your guy to be texting a woman he had slept with? I'm not talking about an ex-gf where you may just keep in touch, nor a full on female friend where you may chat. Someone he had something casual with. The guy in question has cheated before. Edited February 13, 2011 by spackle clarity
robf1971 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Not sure this is the correct forum but we'll see how it goes. I've recently gone NC with a guy for a number of reasons but I wanted to gauge your opinions that I'm not overreacting. If you were in a relationship that you were working one - would you consider it inappropriate for your guy to be texting a woman he had slept with? I'm not talking about an ex-gf where you may just keep in touch, nor a full on female friend where you may chat. Someone he had something casual with. The guy in question has cheated before. Totally inappropriate
Author spackle Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 thanks Rob because for a moment I thought I was going nutty due to some unwritten men/women see things differently effect and was going to be met with, 'of course it's ok I'm with you aren't I?', crap.
Iconoclast Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 The guy in question has cheated before. I was thinking case by case basis until this last sentence. Now it's just disrespectful.
Author spackle Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 I was thinking case by case basis until this last sentence. Now it's just disrespectful. to clarify - I wasn't the person he cheated on her with but still.
Author spackle Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 well, I raised my concern that didn't he think it a little inappropriate to keep in touch while he's working on his relationship with her, don't think she'd be 100% happy about him chatting to some woman he once boned. Reply - I think its fine to keep in contact. hmm wtf. Am I over thinking this?
trippi1432 Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Sounds to me like he is keeping his options open to a back up plan in case the other relationship doesn't work out or he gets kicked to the curb. Don't think you are over thinking it at all.
asireen Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Sounds to me like he is keeping his options open to a back up plan in case the other relationship doesn't work out or he gets kicked to the curb. I agree with this. He is keeping his options open. If he perceives that your relationship with him is not going where he wants it to go, he is preparing to quickly move on. And then you will be the one he will text to
Author spackle Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 I agree with this. He is keeping his options open. If he perceives that your relationship with him is not going where he wants it to go, he is preparing to quickly move on. And then you will be the one he will text to that's the thing I AM the one he's been texting...for 4months. I can't believe he could be so dumb or insensitive as the potential harm it could do to his current relationship which is why I mentioned it to him. I could almost believe the just friends thing but even then - we have very different views of what that means, I answer questions from my friends, talk to them, go out with them etc. And again lol doubt his woman would be comfortable with that. What a horrible mess.
Lucky_One Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 So he has a GF, and she caught him cheating with OW#1. You were a FWB, or something similar, prior to the GF. They are now working on their R, but he still texts you. Right? Sounds like he isn't too invested in his current R or believes that she won't leave him, and he wants to keep you invested in his life so that he can have another casual hook-up with you in case the opportunity presents itself.
Author spackle Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 So he has a GF, and she caught him cheating with OW#1. You were a FWB, or something similar, prior to the GF. They are now working on their R, but he still texts you. Right? Sounds like he isn't too invested in his current R or believes that she won't leave him, and he wants to keep you invested in his life so that he can have another casual hook-up with you in case the opportunity presents itself. Pretty much. I can't have been that good for him to risk messing up again. they split for about 2 years, he went and lived with a married women! Not sure if he walked or she booted him out either way it's like a train wreck. Something else. It's not till you actually write it down or start telling someone about it you realise what a mess you've blundered in to.
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