ladii Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) Short version: what happens if me and my ex both agree to NC for a month ? I asked him to try again with me if I give him space and prove that I change my behaviour [behaviour was acting needy for the last week before break up it made his attraction go - put off]...he said I need to do a lot to prove to him I am what he wants which includes no texts it is *stressful* for him and that I need time away from him to sort myself out...I asked how do I prove ? Do I come back after a month of no contact ? and he said yep come back in a month... Broken up for a month [ex got smothered after I changed my behaviour and became a bit needy decided he didn't want a relationship anymore]...did 2 week NC then back to texting each other then I badgered him with texts we were going to meet up but after I kept changing my mind [he wanted to meet as friends at first I said yes then said no] or trying to set a date thats when he said I was hounding him and I need to give him a lot of space and sort myself out... I'm currently back on NC - about 2 weeks now By the way I have no problems with NC I am not heart broken [was the first week of break up] needy anymore...I do recover quite quickly...back to myself...it was a short [but intense] 3 month so maybe that's why ? [throughout being together we both talked about having a future together both wanted a committed relationship both had no problems talking about it...infact in the beginning he cried for me as he didn't know what my intentions were that I showed no interest - I wasn't sure at the time both of us been out of relationships for a few years - so we wanted to take it slow] my question is should I really come back in a month ?? I really want him to contact me first so that I know he misses me...by contacting me first...but I am thinking give a bit more then a month more like 6 weeks or something ? also my bday is mid March I could wait and see if he decides to make contact ? I don't celebrate it but it might be a way for him to contact me if he chooses to So Can someone give me advice on when an ex and myself both agree for me to come back from NC in month should I come back as he said or let him miss me and contact me ? Edited February 13, 2011 by ladii
gator12 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 A month is just a general time limit if you ask me. You shouldn't go back until your own personal issues are fixed or nothing can change. Stay in NC as long as it takes you on a personal level to change your behavior. I would also advise staying until he contacts you, since he is the one who broke up with you essentially. But idk that's your decision. -Gator
Author ladii Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 A month is just a general time limit if you ask me. You shouldn't go back until your own personal issues are fixed or nothing can change. Stay in NC as long as it takes you on a personal level to change your behavior. I would also advise staying until he contacts you, since he is the one who broke up with you essentially. But idk that's your decision. -Gator Thanks Gator...truth is I am back to my true self...it doesn't take me long to get a *grip* of myself...basically the text from my ex to say I need to sort myself out gave me that kick up the backside that I needed...the last 2 weeks I have realised what I tend to do wrong...and have learned to not place expectations on others...or to self doubt myself... My gut tells me to keep with NC...and reevaluate when sufficient NC like 6 weeks has been and gone...I don't have a desire to contact him as really I am happy now...but that said I still would like to work it out with him in the future...if/when that will be... I just wasn't sure whether coming back the time he said was good...but I know doing the opposite and not coming back will give a better result as it will show he is not in control essentially... What's others take on my situation ?
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