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Scared to initiate stuff in a relationship


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Posted (edited)

So I've been with this guy for a few months now, but I'm still scared to initiate things. For example, I'm hesitant to call him and ask if he wants to hang out the next day. I don't want to appear needy and clingy and he's very busy so I'll feel bad if I distract him from his work. Earlier this afternoon I called him to see if he wanted to go see a movie with me tomorrow night. Obviously this is a simple question without a lot of pressure. Going to see a movie is not a huge commitment. However, I panicked before calling him. My heart beat so fast and my stomach was quite upset afterward. That's a prime example of how anxious I am about being perceived as annoying. Another example is making out. I'm hesitant to initiate because I'm worried that perhaps he's not in the mood and that'll annoy him...

 

I guess I basically don't want to be annoying, clingy, smothering, etc. He's never said that I am any of those traits, but I'm concerned that maybe whatever action I might take next may change his mind. Since he hasn't voiced this concern, I don't know where this fear and hesitation comes from. I was also like this in my past relationships.

 

FWIW, I'm not like this with my friendships. I readily pick up the phone to ask my friends if they want to hang out. It's just in relationships where I become so anxious.

 

That's basically my problem in a nutshell. Anyone have any advice?

Edited by EyeAlone
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