sellyguy Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Ok, ive been in similar situations so many times before but just can not put my finger on this one and think i may have screwed this one up a bit. i was in a divorce 2 years ago and in that 2 year period, ive been dating alot but this one right now.........man oh man!!! This girl i just met, shes absolutly everything i have been looking for and dont think ill ever find one like her again and im paniking! About a week and a half ago we went on our first date and it was great, she loved it and she kept doing that whole looking at the floor and to her left while biting her lip and non stop smiling because she was into me and we just connected perfectly! everything was going well untill i got to her house and she invited me in................wait, what ( your probably saying what the hecks wrong with that man )...well, i said no! yea, i said no. See every girl i was ever with, i went in and they all didnt last very long. I believe strongly in moving too soon. When she asked me in, the first thing i thought was, i cant loose this girl, shes everyhting ive been looking for, for like, my entire life. And after i said no, i thought to myself, DAMN, what is she gonna think now and its a little to late now, i allready said no. Your probably thinkin, well, he only went on 1 date so how would he know. We talked on the phone for about 2 hours every night for about a week so we got to know each other very well and got along and clicked like you wouldnt imagine. since that night, i didnt go in, she still talks to me, texts me, but not as often and im havin alot of trouble gettin her to get this second date rollin. Usually i would just let it go and move on, but i cant with this one. shes exactly what i WANT!!! should i just roll with the punches with her, back off, tell her how i feel ( prolly not a good idea ), or just go ape **** and be a romantic, send her flowers, and ( look like a stalker........lol ). Damnit, im stuck on this one and i hate it, if i could just get a 2nd date with her, i could save this retarded situation. Anyway, any advice on this would be freaking fantastic! thanks, chris
guitar23 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Did you explain to her why you said "No" to the invite inside? If not, she is probably a little embarrassed and confused by your decline. If you two clicked as well as you said, I don't think it would put her off by telling her you really were enjoying getting to know her, and would like to continue to get to know her, and you didn't want to move too fast.
K.K. Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I think it could be kinda good that you didn't go in. Everybody wants what they can't have (even her) and you showed some class by not sleeping with somebody you just met. As far as the second date, you said you're having a hard time pinning her down on it. Are you sUUUuure she was as into you as you were her? If she was, I guess there's a chance she could feel a little rejected by you not coming in but I still think you did the right thing. You don't wanna be too available after all. The thing that worries me a little though is how much you're into her. Like thinking she is the one and perfect for you and all that. You just met her. She might have a little person that lives in her head that she calls freddy for all you know. Take your time honey. And don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Author sellyguy Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 i deffinitly hear ya KK, no, im not possitive she was into me as much as i was with her but ive been with quite a few girls and no my way round dating and reading women (cold reads ) and being able to tell if things are going south. She was deffinitly liking the date and the atmosphere. see, i just dont understand because i know she wasnt turned off that much by whatever the hell i did because she does still talk to me and stuff. she just called me yesterday out of the blue when she left work n we talked for about a half hour. it just seems like she not into me as much as she was that night. Your right about " being the one and only " thing and im not saying that. Im just saying she is absolutly everything i have been looking for in a women. Im not too worried about her being a psycho because honestly and you can laugh and joke if you want but im a christian man and ive been looking for a girl to share that with....among many other things and shes actually somehow.all of the above like it just never happens like that. I dont know, i guess what im saying is i just dont want to give up too easily on this and i feel like its all withering away so frikin fast and im loosong controll of this situation and usually i can figure it out....but, haha, i cant!
Saphira Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 well first off. yeas i agree with what guitar said. did you tell her why you said no? she may feel like you dont want her or something. and its not too soon to send her flowers. if you have talked on the phone for as long as you said, and had an amazing date then flowers would be nice. nothing too big just some nice pretty flowers that lets her know you still think of her in a romantic type way.
Author sellyguy Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 No i actually didnt tell her why i said no because ive never been in that situation or felt like that before and didnt really know what or how to say it and thought it might sound kind of weird but you know, the more i thought about it after that, the more i realized i should of just explained myself to her. Flowers are actually an excellent idea and i might just have to consider that. thanks
Author sellyguy Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 ok everyone, something just happened this morning and think its pretty much done now. i told her about why i didnt come in that night but in a way that sounded like i wasnt being obssesive in any way and im not, i just frikn like her! I just told her i like who she is as a person and where her hearts at and that i didnt try to offend her in any way but i enjoyed the time spent together on our date and i didnt come in because i didnt want to move to sudden with anything. i told her ide like to go out with her again someday or evening. this is the message she sent me afterwards: """ Awww, chris, you didnt offend me at all and im sorry that i havnt been able to text or talk much, this past week i had something to do almost every night. I do want to talk to you, i am just scared to keep going on dates because i had a really great time with you but i realized that i am just not ready for a relationship at all. I have alot of growing and sorting out to do in my life right now. Im really not good at talking about my emotions and thoughts sometimes, this is an area that i struggle in and i appologize deeply for being distant with you. You are such an amazing and nice guy and we have alot of things in common and to be honest with you, it freaks me out because i could picture things getting serious real quick and i am scared. Thank you so much for being understanding, theres not many people left like you""". I told her i understood where she was coming from because i do. She is actually just coming out of a divorce and i think she was planning on just a quick thing, rebound guy kinda situation but she realized that she really likes me and could see a future together and thats not she wants right now. I went through the same thing for a couple months but it just pisses me off a bit. Should i just leave it or continue to be a charmer and work at it. I do know when someone is not ready for a relationship, its usually best to just leave it because no good comes out of situations like like......almost allways! maybe i should just give it time and if she gets ahold of me, i can carry on with her. or maybe i should send her those flowers. ahhhhhhh! i dont know. I cant believe im actually on a site asking for advice on this stuff. ive never been troubled like this before and she just keeps pulling different surprises out of her lil bag. thanks, chris
Eddie Edirol Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 If you are a rebound, then she isnt that into you. If theshe thought you were that great she would want to be with you, but she is still thinking of her ex. She wanted a quick lay and you didnt give it to her, thats all she wanted was a quick lay. You didnt lose anythinig hereC, dont worry about her now. keep it movin.
smudge21 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 You're both being so open and honest with each other that I seriously think you should try your best to make this work. It's so rare that two people open up like that and it's refreshing to see. I think you both should just go into this with a 'see where it goes' attitude rather then trying to take it somewhere. I really hope this works out.
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