LifesBeachy Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) I can't be the only one that this happens to ? One recent guy asked me out for lunch nearing the end of the week. I told him I didn't know my schedule to make it up there. And he wants me to go up to see him. Which would mean I'm driving 20 mins to the train then on the train about 20 or so minutes. I said I was going to trivia the next night and invited him but he said he was baby-sitting his sister's children. I told him that was OK we'd do something another time. He kept pressing for friday. I was thinking about it then I realized this guy is making me put forth all of the effort. Then he dropped a doozy and told me to "pick a place" b/c he "didn't know the area very well"... I'm thinking---Look on a map, chief? So I actually haven't responded. After the me having to travel all the way, plus find something after I travel by car, train, and foot to just meet one person whom I may never see again? All just so he only walks a block to eat lunch. One other guy a few before him told me to give me the address of where we wanted to meet. And he wanted to know what I planned for the day. I actually hadn't thought about it since HE asked ME out. I told him I hadn't pick anything. Then a day or two later he sent me this nasty letter saying I was online "playing around" and hurting people that are "lonely"... ?? And he went on to how he planned this great fun-filled day with go-karts, batting cages, and rock climbing. What?..That's funny considering he asked me what I had planned to do. Then there is this current one. And I'm not sure I'm going to meet him. He expects me to find the place.. Which I didn't mind until...we had to reschedule from a few day ago when they were calling for bad weather. We both agreed we'd wait and that was fine by me. The real issue was a day later he txts: "I want Friday or Saturday night. pick the place"... Me thinking "Ha..". Seriously, he wanted my Friday or Saturday night -- He didn't even ask if I was busy... What's the deal with this attitudes? How does one handle this? Edited February 13, 2011 by LifesBeachy
Nexus One Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Is there really so much to plan then? You pick a time, date and place. I kind of understand the guys asking you to at least pick the place if they don't know the area you're in. Yeah sure they could throw a dart at a map, but they will not be sure if you'd like it.
musemaj11 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 They wanna see if you are going to pick the most expensive restaurant.
zengirl Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Asking you to travel far more than him. . . that I see being annoying. Unless for some reason you'll be in an area where there isn't anything to do, and especially since it's not like he's asking you to come that way for a particular event or reason beyond his own convenience. Asking you to pick a place. . . that I see no issue with. Nor do I see an issue with him saying he wants Fri/Sat night (the guy that did thay). I picked the restaurant for the 1st date with my BF. I didn't feel like it was him trying to push needless work on me. I pick most of the things we do/places we go, because I know more of what's going on about town. If you want someone who will pick everything, that's fine, but a lot of men will ask you to pick a place just so they don't 'mess up' and take you somewhere you hate. A lot of guys are actually trying to be considerate.
phineas Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I am guilty of this. I was divorced in the fall, separated for a yr before that. I have two kids. I'm 39. I was in family mode. I do kid things. That's it. Other than free outdoor concerts in the summer my knowledge of things to do on any given night is non-existent during the winter. I do search for local events & things online but sometimes I just come up empty. I try to find something to do but honestly the women I go out with just are more tuned into the night life than me. So i'm probably pretty boring in that respect. However, I will do the driving.
aisle_seat Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Sorry to anyone who disagrees, but if I'm the one asking someone out (although not in a long while now as I'm in a LTR) then I am doing all the planning. For a first date I would ask what you like to eat or suggest something since I don't know you, but I would do all the planning and pick you up from a place of your choosing. I guess I'm just old fashioned. I would never ask someone out then expect them to get to my location and pick the place to go unless she suggests doing that first.
Author LifesBeachy Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 Sorry to anyone who disagrees, but if I'm the one asking someone out (although not in a long while now as I'm in a LTR) then I am doing all the planning. For a first date I would ask what you like to eat or suggest something since I don't know you, but I would do all the planning and pick you up from a place of your choosing. I guess I'm just old fashioned. I would never ask someone out then expect them to get to my location and pick the place to go unless she suggests doing that first. Wow, I like this! They don't even offer me suggestions of what they're into. They've been quiet for days so I hope it stays that way...it was been stressing me out. These guys want me on their time-schedule. when it's convenient for them. . .So I have to plan around for their convenience, pick the place to meet...and go thru all the transportation just to meet a stranger whom I've never met before. (And might I add I may never see this man again.) I understand having a busy schedule but there are plenty of things half-way. I think him offering some kind of suggestion--anything!, and asking about when I'd like to try to meet, and offer to meet me half-way would be great.... I just really wouldn't mind choosing the place if I asked them out or we mutually decided. Or if they were already my friends, we'll usually toss back and forth ideas of new places or preferred ones. But these guys that ask me out and I feel as though I have to jump thru hoops and plan fun-filled excursions with?? Too much pressure! What if they get more demanding?--What if I did these things, would the guys start expecting me to pick them up in a chariots, taking them out for fancy dinners on my dime, and buying them too-pricey gadgets? But I could only do that on their schedule which would look something along the lines of: M,W 12-1pm, Fridays 3pm, Tuesday 6:15-7pm and every other Thursday 2:06pm-3:22pm But I have been corresponding with someone else. He offered several things to do, which is great. He'll be coming to meet me and driving about 1hr one-way to my town. And I have no qualms about planning things out with this one. He just isn't demanding and stress inducing like those other princesses
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