Author irc333 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Wow, got a lot of responses....I wanted to add, even though the idea of having a housewife is appealing. I could never afford a housewife, the kind of salary I make, I could never support the wife AND the kids during that time period that she's home taking care of them. It's not realistic. The one I'm referring to in the dating profile is age 32, does work and is a part time college student. She does intend on going back to work after the kids are old enough, however to put "IMPORTANT" in bold, and expecting a man to support her during that time frame, is somewhat unreasonable, esp. in the region she resides....where the main occupations are blue collar workers (with missing teeth) and retail/restaurant jobs.
Author irc333 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Yeah, it does shock me to see a dating profile where a woman has this as a goal in a relationship. lol eh? What did you expect? I just find it fasinating that some women want to be housewifes... it just seems so cliché.
Author irc333 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I'd be afraid the relationship would bottom out and I'd be left with no formal education and work background. I'd consider this lifestyle, but I'd want a safety-net. And I want the option to jump either back in to education or a decent job. Yep...I know of this woman that worked in a gym and was a personal trainer...and gave newbies that just joined the gym some tips during their workouts. SHe was recently divorced had EIGHT kids, killer body on her, age 40.....but had NOTHING to fall back on, that she had to obtain alimony, because she had no college education nor real training in any kind of trade...though she was kind of struggling in the personal trainer thing. A SAHM that get's divorced is kinda SOL...or will have long road to hoe. Some have moved back in with their parents.
aerogurl87 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I agree completely re: the position being no less than any other job. However, I am also curious about people whose AIM is to be one in the future, especially if they aren't currently in a LTR. What do they do with themselves in the meantime? A girl my boyfriend went to high school with aims to be a housewife and what she's planning to do in the meantime is go to culinary school. Her thought process being it will help her be a much better cook to her future husband. Honestly though I've wanted to be a housewife myself since I met my first boyfriend back in high school. I went to college and earned a certification (that I will now have to redo anyway since I'm moving to another country) but I don't really think I'd ever be happy with a 9 to 5, office type job. Now if I could write and make money being an author from home while being a housewife, I'd be in heaven. So I'm working on a few story ideas and going from there. But that's just me.
Lorelai Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 The other thing is that it never, ever hurts to have some work experience and education under your belt. Even if you're a housewife, you need to be at least somewhat prepared to suddenly go out into the workforce and bring in an income. You may end up divorced. Your spouse may become ill or incapacitated or he may die. You're less screwed if you worked a little before marriage. THIS. I mentioned my Superwoman maternal grandmother above. Granny really didn't have to work. Grandpa had made a substantial living owning his own business before they decided to have kids (Mom was born when Granny was 29). He became disabled when my mom was 10, but with his savings and social security (and the fact he had purchased mortgage insurance that when he became disabled paid the house payment), they could have gotten by, though they would have had to decrease their standard of living. When he was still working, she worked because she enjoyed having her own income -- she didn't make nearly as much as he did, especially in the early years, but she gained years of experience. When he became disabled, she was able to maintain the standard of living for the family by working, and also was extremely frugal. Because of the years she spent working at lower wages, she was able to negotiate for higher ones -- she did very well making custom draperies. If she had to, she could have supported the family herself without Grandpa's savings and check... again, would have meant a lower standard of living, but they would have been able to get by. While Granny was lucky that her husband had managed to save enough and had enough income on the books to get a decent social security check, not everyone is so lucky, and life can have an awful appalling tendency to suck sometimes. Given that Mom didn't have as good of taste in men as Granny did, I grew up with two examples of why a woman should have the *ability* to support themselves and their kids by themselves. I've known several people who have had the third possibility happen... their spouses died young. Social security, savings, and insurance are not things I want to have to depend on to survive and support my kids whenever I have them.
mitchell Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I say good for her. At least she's upfront about her desires. My wife is a physician. We met in medical school. She retired after we had our first child 15 years ago and hasn't earned a dollar since. We certainly had planned that we would both be working when we first met. I feel a bit shortchanged. This woman at least plans on keeping her husband sexually satisfied. Mine has given up that quest.
Els Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 (edited) But going into a job just for the possibility of needing a backup in trying times and as a placeholder before you find your man, and really going into a career with all your heart is not really the same. For the former, you can just have any old college diploma, or a skill, or, really, anything. You could probably get into McDs with a high school diploma if it came down to that. For the latter, you might possibly spend a lot on an extensive education, focus on school/career, take up a promotion that helps you go further but takes up more of your time, constantly improve your skills/knowledge in your field, etc. Why would you have the motivation to do any of that if your job is just a placeholder in times of need or before you have a man, and your ultimate aim is to be a housewife? It was probably easier to make such a decision back in the day when most women got married at ages 16-18, and most men weren't trying to live the 'bachelor's dream'. Out of school, straight to housewifery. However, now what I see is women doing expensive degrees, postgrads even, working their butt off to get up the career ladder.... then they get married and have kids at 30 and stay home forever after (NOT working from home, that's different). Yes, there's probably nothing wrong with that, but my question is: Did they have housewifery as their goal all along? If they did, how did it make sense for them to want to take a PhD/medical degree/extra certification/promotion that involved extra work etc? Edited February 16, 2011 by Elswyth
starscream84 Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 I do not have problem with woman who want to be house wife I have a problem if that is what they want to do their whole life. If you have kids it is understandable to want to stay home but when they are teenagers there is no real need to stay at home. Are you going to stay at home when they all move out? Some people say they volunteer. I am all for volunteering but why would not want to have a job if you could and add to your families income and make life easier for everyone? You can work and volunteer at the same time it is possible. To me it seems like excuses are being made to never work and be lazy. It is interesting men are expected to work but woman can just pick and choose what they want to do. Maybe this is just me.
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