Woman that expects to be a housewife

[zengirl]

I think it's fine whatever any couple wants to work out, and I do know many women who fall into two potential stay-at-home-groups:

 

1.) Women who want to be housewives, full-stop.

 

2.) Women who want to have careers but will sacrifice them to some degree in order to raise children, particularly when the children are young, because they feel staying hom in those years is important.

 

The two groups are very different. Personally, group #1 seems scary to me -- if they have no income/education/career path, what happens if they divorce?

 

Still, I'd say that even though I'm career-minded, I teeter around the edges of group #2. I disagree that daycare is "traumatizing" --- in fact, preschool is often shown to be a positive factor in education if you choose a good one, such as a genuine Montesorri program. In fact, if the mother is not well-versed in how to educate a child in early reading, a preschool is going to be more helpful with that. That said, I'd like to be the one who teaches that stuff to my kid, and I'd like a few years with them. So, I could see myself taking 1-3 years off, if I felt like I could go back and get another teaching/administration job after that. Part of the reason I transitioned to teaching -- besides loving what I do -- was my old job was never going to be conducive to child-rearing, and I realized I someday wanted kids. Most women I know who really want children have at least considered being in Group #2 (even if they loved their work) or have married a guy/want a guy who could stay at home with the kids for a bit. I do think it's hard to maintain two 50+ hour a week Power Careers and have kids.

 

However, I think Group #1 is a rarer subset of women. I've met women who just want to be wives and mothers, but not terribly many who think that's a safe path these days, especially with other factors -- not just divorce but layoffs and such. If you have one income and he gets laid off, it's much worse than a dual income household with a layoff. The truth is, we live in a different world than the 1950s and a lot of girls who might want that life are scared of the ramifications in this day and age.

[phineas]

Well, I have heard, it can psychologically mess kids up, if you drop them off at a daycare, while mom goes to work. Apparently, having a relative or even the mom stay with the kids makes for a healthy kid (mentally)

 

And the daycare thing is a bad idea.

 

 

Not learning to interact with other children on a regular basis was the bad idea where my oldest was concerned.

[zengirl]

Not learning to interact with other children on a regular basis was the bad idea where my oldest was concerned.

 

A good point, as well. And even studies bear out that it's important for homeschooled children (and this includes at the preschool age) to be brought together to socialize with other same-age children in various settings. That's not to say the kids shouldn't recognize their parents or spend more time with the nanny --- balance is key!

[Graceful]

I know women who are living the concise scenario spoken of here: wife and home care taker with a complete, fulfilling role that takes a huge load off of her husband in that the home is fully, meticulously and lovingly cared for; meals are planned, interesting and a full time investment; all travel plans are taken cared for at home; all home repair work scheduled, etc etc., the list goes on. This works for these couples because both roles are appreciated and respected for what they contribute to the whole life of the couple.

 

I've also seen many women leave the workforce after having a baby, and never turn back. Some of these women were not that invested in their careers in the first place (it was more of a "job" than a career), but others have willingly left their careers to stay home, in the event it was affordable. My SIL, an attorney who is quite brilliant (Ivy schools and top of her class in law school, too) dropped it all to raise a family, and my brother doesn't make a lot of money, but they have managed.

 

In the part of the USA I live, there is no judgment necessarily overt, but there is envy at times, on the part of women who cannot afford to stay home with their kids, it's just not an option financially. Real estate, cost of living is very high where I live, so I am not talking about trailer park living, either.

 

Seems to be less and less backlash about this. You can still be a full, living breathing feminist and not work outside the home. Being a feminist has nothing to do with where you put in the work.

 

Frankly, the thought of having someone home to take care of everything, and keep the house spotlessly clean sounds pretty darn appealing to me.

 

 

I saw this profile of a woman, she really sounded appealing until she got the part where she says, "I am looking to fulfill the role of a traditional housewife. To stay at home, to take care of the kids, and not have to work, and thus is looking for a man with a steady job.

 

I have to admit, expecting a man to support her and children is expecting a little too much? She followed that up with "I'm not a gold-digger or anything, but I just don't want to stress out about money and possibly not having any"

 

Of course, you could resolve that issue by not having kids, too.

 

Of course she ALSO says she is willing to have a meal waiting for her man when he gets home, keep the home spotless, and yard clean, and keep him happy in the bedroom as they both fall to sleep satisified.

 

Actually, she sounds like a dream come true....a woman that's willing to fufill a Beaver Cleaver role in 2011??

 

Interesting, but how can one support kids AND her, with one male income, plus where she lives...well...and where I live...the area is not lucrative. The only kind of work around here is blue collar work, workin' at the Wal-Mart, or retail.

 

Anyone know any single women that still wants to fulfill the role? Even in 2011?

[phineas]

A good point, as well. And even studies bear out that it's important for homeschooled children (and this includes at the preschool age) to be brought together to socialize with other same-age children in various settings. That's not to say the kids shouldn't recognize their parents or spend more time with the nanny --- balance is key!

 

My oldest had a real hard time learning to share & play nice with others. He's big for his age so he'd just take a toy whether someone was playing with it or not when he was 2. I got him playing with more kids & he learned to share better & play nice.

 

I think it prepared him better for pre-school.

 

When I have my kids I usually spend all my time with them.

I have them weekends so occasionally their with my family if I need to get some work done on the house or if I want to go out.

I don't go out much though.

 

consequently my home is always trashed because I simply don't have enough time on a regular basis to do everything.

 

It's clean, but it looks like a bomb went off in a clothing & toy store.

[phineas]

For the OP.

 

I was seeing a woman my age (38) never married no kids. Not a great job. A little above average in looks. (i'll bet she was hot when younger but now she's like most women pushing 40 that used to be hot)

Her online profile states she doesn't mind a man with kids And doesn't mind staying home & keeping house as long as she can get out once in a while.

 

To me this sounds like she is looking for a guy to support her while she stays at home & takes care of his kids.

 

I personally am uncomfortable with that situation. My kids are 2 & 4. I would never expect anyone I was in a relationship with watch them. They have a mother. no need for someone to take on that role.

 

I don't make enough money to support someone. I can afford me & my kids but i'd be broke if I had to clothe & feed & provide transportation for an adult.

 

I'd feel like I stepped back into my old marriage. That wasn't a good place. Even with child support & daycare I still somehow have more disposable income than when I had a working wife living with me. go figure.

 

I'm not cheap, but i'm frugal. I don't have an elaborate wardrobe & only buy clothes when things are on sale. Most of money goes into making my house a nicer place to raise my kids.

 

She told me she had expensive taste & her past boyfriends spoiled her.

It was kind of a turn-off to be honest so I wasn't too disappointed things fizzled out.

 

I'm not the guy for her. True I spoiled my ex-wife here & there but all it got me was infidelity on her part & bankruptcy. LOL!

[Whatshername]

ME!!!!!!

 

I stayed at home for 18 years, raised 4 children with a military spouse. Moved 13 times in 24 years. I also home-schooled for several years.

 

I have a full time job with benefits. I can and will work, and could get another job even in this economy.

 

BUT, my DESIRE, is to find the right man, stay at home and do everything I am really good at. All of it.....laundry, shopping, cleaning, cooking, yardwork, packing his lunch, being ready for him when he gets home, or at 5 am. I do not think men understand what it'd be like to come home and not have to do a lot of the things that take up the "couple "time, or to have well thought out, prepared dinners, or food for lunch, or have the things they forget remembered. I am efficient, I LOVE all of this, it is my PASSION. It is making your house a home.........

 

June Cleaver was a man's dream come true.

 

I am 51, in great shape and a Christian. Any men in mid Georgia that want to meet a real woman, who is not afraid to be a homemaker, let me know. It may be the most underpaid job that there is, but it IS rewarding in so many ways!

 

To find a passionate man, with heart of gold..............aaaahhhhhhhh.

I take good care of myself and would expect him to already do that, I don't want to be his mother!

Edited February 13, 2011 by Whatshername

[sweetjasmine]

If someone dreams of being a clerk at McDonalds all his life, its his prerogative to decide what he wants to do with his life. But that doesnt mean Im wrong if I say that that person has little ambition in life. I mean you only live once and you just want to spend your life staying home when you have unlimited opportunity to realize your potential?

 

Why do people assume that a housewife would do absolutely nothing other than domestic chores?

 

In my family, the women developed incredible skills in sewing, knitting, and crocheting. Yes, that's a sort of domestic chore, but they made some incredible pieces, and it was an artistic, creative outlet for them. My mother studied at a school for professionals, and the pieces she made for herself look like couture clothing and handmade embroidery that you would find in a pricey store. I know other stay-at-home parents who do volunteer work or take classes to pursue their interests. One does freelance writing and editing. But I guess none of them have any ambition in life because they don't spend 20-40 hours a week sitting in a cubicle helping some a-hole make more money.

 

It's amazing to me to hear a lot of people complain about "kids these days" and "where are the parents?!" and then insult people who want to stay at home with their children. If someone wants to be a housewife or househusband and can manage that in their family, who is anyone to say that it's "sad"? There are people who had no choice in the matter either way: those who absolutely have to work to barely make ends meet and those who absolutely have to stay at home even though they don't want to. That's sad.

[Whatshername]

Yes, but starting over, after a divorce at my age.............let's just use my last bf as an example. He KNEW me. He knew I was energetic, hard-working, a giver, pulled my own weight financially in the relationship, but down deep, I think he felt like I wanted to "stay home", instead of work, and he saw that as his being sort of a "meal-ticket." Now I know that there are women who might look for a man to take care of them financially so they don't HAVE to go to work, but it is not the reason why I want to be a housewife.

 

I also did many things to earn money, while a stay at home mom. I took orders for/delivered poinsettias each year, to earn the money for our textbooks and supplies/field trips while homeschooling. Easy $2000 in a few week time period. I also gardened and grew vegetables to put on the table/put up for the winter. I also cleaned houses at times, if my husband could be with the kids, etc. I just did not want my kids to be in daycare, or shirk the responsibility of caring for them on someone else.

 

Obviously my kids are grown and I gave my life for all of them, willingly. I t would be nice to share my days with someone who would appreciate my efforts to improve the quality of our lives, as well as spend time creatively doing things I enjoy or volunteering, etc.

[Jazzari]

I saw this profile of a woman, she really sounded appealing until she got the part where she says, "I am looking to fulfill the role of a traditional housewife. To stay at home, to take care of the kids, and not have to work, and thus is looking for a man with a steady job.

 

I have to admit, expecting a man to support her and children is expecting a little too much? She followed that up with "I'm not a gold-digger or anything, but I just don't want to stress out about money and possibly not having any"

 

Of course, you could resolve that issue by not having kids, too.

 

Of course she ALSO says she is willing to have a meal waiting for her man when he gets home, keep the home spotless, and yard clean, and keep him happy in the bedroom as they both fall to sleep satisified.

 

Actually, she sounds like a dream come true....a woman that's willing to fufill a Beaver Cleaver role in 2011??

 

Interesting, but how can one support kids AND her, with one male income, plus where she lives...well...and where I live...the area is not lucrative. The only kind of work around here is blue collar work, workin' at the Wal-Mart, or retail.

 

Anyone know any single women that still wants to fulfill the role? Even in 2011?

That pretty much describes my old life. Being a homemaker and raising a family is a full time job. My husband was easily able to provide for us (we had one child). But we didn't buy the new cars every 2 years or take overseas vacations or splurge on luxuries. We lived well but modestly. I know that isn't possible for some and I think that's too bad.

 

Side Rant: I think stay at home mothers are greatly undervalued in our society. What job could possibly be more important than raising a child? The impact that child will make in the future may be considerable. Will you raise a president, corporate manager, scientist or a drug dealer, thief, etc? How will your choices as a parent affect our world? And you became a parent for a reason. Do you really want someone else (government, schools, rock stars) raising your child and molding them the way THEY want? (:rant off:)

 

I'm now widowed (I'm in my 40's) but I would still like the traditional role today. The difference being that I work from home now, so I can be a traditional wife yet still bring in an income.

[bac]

The trick is finding a woman who sees such an arrangement as an equal partnership and a team effort. Each partner's contribution carries value and is appreciated. I happened to have been parented in such an arrangement and know how it works and how well.

 

IMO many women would love to be a housewife. I would prefer to take care of my house and my husband than to waste my time working hard for my boss.

Many people either do not have great jobs or they hate their jobs. It is a blessing to work at home for yourself and your family.

[Spacecase78]

Although it's not my style personally, there are a lot of women who have the dream of raising up kids and keeping a home. Really, in some cases it is a job. However, if you clued in on this and found it worrisome, then there's your red flag. Some guys like the idea of completely supporting a woman, while others don't. It sounds like it's not really your thing straight off the bat, so you might as well find someone who has the same goals as you.

 

What strikes me as worrisome about this woman's post is the fact that she automatically said she wasn't a gold digger, but mostly that one of her excuses was that she didn't want the stress of it all. Of what? Like raising kids and keeping a home isn't stressful? Probably more so in the scheme of things. She sounds a bit lazy, frankly, and the home/kids thing is probably fluff.

[aerogurl87]

I want to be a housewife one day. My boyfriend and I have discussed it in lots of detail and it will be doable in the future when we start having children one day. Until then I'm gonna work, but once I start having children I'm going to be a stay at home mom and housewife.

[Lorelai]

In my family, the women developed incredible skills in sewing, knitting, and crocheting. Yes, that's a sort of domestic chore, but they made some incredible pieces, and it was an artistic, creative outlet for them. My mother studied at a school for professionals, and the pieces she made for herself look like couture clothing and handmade embroidery that you would find in a pricey store. I know other stay-at-home parents who do volunteer work or take classes to pursue their interests. One does freelance writing and editing.

 

Fortunately I learned to sew from my maternal grandmother, and inherited her cabinet Singer sewing machine. And when I say "learned to sew", I mean learned how to adjust patterns to fit your exact measurements, as well as how to create your own patterns. I buy vintage patterns and adjust them to my size and sometimes combine a bodice from one with a skirt from another, etc.

 

Granny worked full-time outside of the home as a seamstress all of her life, first making jeans at Tuf-Nut Jean Factory and then making draperies, and still kept a spotless house, made her own clothes, and made a lot of my mom's clothes as a child. She was still working full-time when I came along and my mom, sister, and I moved in with her and Grandpa. She made a lot of my clothes when I was a kid, too. I bow to her Superwoman skills.

[lenny]

I really don't think this is a lack of ambition. The think the expectation of having a stay at home spouse would be all the household chores would fall on that person. To come home at the end of the day to a home cooked meal and a well kept home where you can spend your evening relaxing after work rather than doing a bunch of work around the house in my mind would appeal to almost anyone.

 

Even without having kids this is still a contributing function. These are typically the people who are doing a lot of volunteer community work and such to fill their time if that time isn't full. If what floats someones boat is to be domestic and that's what they do in my mind is still having ambition - they are doing what they love. Even someone that works at McDonalds, if that is what they love why knock them for it. I would rather be with someone that is doing what they love rather than someone who is constantly chasing the bigger paycheck and having a job that is just that to them ... a job.

 

A friend of mine has a single mother sister who is a stripper. She's a smart enough girl who could further her education and get a more mainstream job but she's decided to stay with the stipper job because she clears 8000 a month. It's not a job you can work at until your 60 or anything but so long as she's still got the body for it this is what she has decided to do. She absolutely hates the job but likes her big house with expensive furnishings more.

 

I myself am totally not a domestic person. There are a few domestic things I enjoy (cooking and gardening) but really suck otherwise. I am in a career I love so instead focus my world around my job. Total respect for those happy to keep a home though.

[milkmaterial]

 

Granny worked full-time outside of the home as a seamstress all of her life, first making jeans at Tuf-Nut Jean Factory and then making draperies, and still kept a spotless house, made her own clothes, and made a lot of my mom's clothes as a child. She was still working full-time when I came along and my mom, sister, and I moved in with her and Grandpa. She made a lot of my clothes when I was a kid, too. I bow to her Superwoman skills.

 

ask her how she can keep a spotless house and work all the time..i think the ladies at that time didnt even have the technology to multitask too much but they have their own tricks..they should pass it on hehe.

[Lorelai]

ask her how she can keep a spotless house and work all the time..i think the ladies at that time didnt even have the technology to multitask too much but they have their own tricks..they should pass it on hehe.

 

Wasn't much of a trick... she worked her tail off. Really didn't know what to do with herself when she got sick at age 81 and couldn't work anymore. She's going to be 89 this year. She honestly didn't have to work full-time, Grandpa made enough money and could have supported them herself. But she liked her financial freedom and also liked to keep busy.

 

She was certainly busy! And she had one daughter, a girl, and a hubby who didn't make a lot of mess.

[fishtaco]

Wanting to be a housewife is more old fashioned, but there's nothing wrong with it. A housewife DOES provide a lot for a man and the family. The only time I would find it lame is the housewife that wants to be a princess as opposed to a housewife, i.e. she just wants to be supported and be lazy. A good housewife is absolutely a great partner... if the man is looking for a single-income family. It's certainly better for the kids.

 

But where I am, the infamous Southern California, it's difficult to live comfortably as a family with only a single income, especially if true for blue collar workers. So I see a lot of working moms. That's kind of the norm. The non working women I see are the very pretty women shopping at the mall on a Tuesday afternoon. Sometimes they're moms, sometimes they're not. But they've got Mercedes and Luis Vuitton bags.

[Els]

I agree completely re: the position being no less than any other job.

 

However, I am also curious about people whose AIM is to be one in the future, especially if they aren't currently in a LTR. What do they do with themselves in the meantime? Simply take any job to survive while counting down the days til Prince Charming appears and marries them and they can take up their calling? Wouldn't spending significant effort and investment in career advancement seem like a waste, since you know you're just waiting to give it all up when the time comes? I am not by any means putting down such people, I am really merely curious.

 

I had the privilege of taking on such a role for several months, sans kids, when I moved to be with the bf, due to visa issues. I'm not gonna lie - it was awesome. I had plenty of time for my hobbies, with just enough work in maintaining the house and cooking and running errands to create purpose and structure for the day. But it isn't something I would aim for, because it is inherently dependent on another person to achieve that dream. And I don't want to live my life staying with a man just because he provides that (because without a man, that would not be possible).

 

I imagine it would be quite different if you had kids though - now THAT would probably be more like 24/7 torture to me instead of a lovely vacation.

Edited February 14, 2011 by Elswyth

[fishtaco]

However, I am also curious about people whose AIM is to be one in the future, especially if they aren't currently in a LTR. What do they do with themselves in the meantime?

 

Well, given the choice of dependent or independent, different people will choose differently. My mom for example is the dependent type. She has retirement money from the divorce. She should be able to just enjoy. But nope, she's constantly creating trouble to make the people around her come running to her rescue. Us kids got tired of her shenanigans, we try to make her be responsible for her own actions, so she miraculously surrounded herself with friends that are willing to be her white knight. Quite impressive I have to say.

 

Because of that, I became overly independent. But that's not too bad because I'm a guy. My sister, also became overly independent. We're both trying to chill out and be more normal. I also had too much respect for people that choose to be independent, and not enough respect for people that choose to be dependent. I'm also trying to change that and find a better balance.

 

As for the temporarily independent dependent people, I see that in single moms a lot, because well, I date them. They tend to have some crappy dead-end job, and they get help from family, until I think one day they hope to find the right man and get back to being a stay home mom. To clarify, I don't mean all single moms, I mean the dependent ones. Because of that, sometime they don't make the best choice, because they have dependency as a priority.

[Els]

 

As for the temporarily independent dependent people, I see that in single moms a lot, because well, I date them. They tend to have some crappy dead-end job, and they get help from family, until I think one day they hope to find the right man and get back to being a stay home mom. To clarify, I don't mean all single moms, I mean the dependent ones. Because of that, sometime they don't make the best choice, because they have dependency as a priority.

 

That's what I mean. How can anyone have housewifery as an AIM in life and not fall into that trap? Whereas, if you take the independent route while maintaining housewifery as an aim in life, would you not feel that all the time and effort you're pouring into your career will be wasted since you're ultimately just waiting for a bacon-winning man to come along the whole time?

[sweetjasmine]

However, I am also curious about people whose AIM is to be one in the future, especially if they aren't currently in a LTR. What do they do with themselves in the meantime? Simply take any job to survive while counting down the days til Prince Charming appears and marries them and they can take up their calling? Wouldn't spending significant effort and investment in career advancement seem like a waste, since you know you're just waiting to give it all up when the time comes? I am not by any means putting down such people, I am really merely curious.

 

Why would it be a waste? First of all, people who actively aim to be housewives don't exactly decide to go to medical school. Other than that, I'm having trouble understanding why it would be a waste. Just because you eventually stop working doesn't mean that the effort you put into working was meaningless or pointless. Is it a waste when people retire early? How long do you have to work full-time before quitting no longer becomes a waste?

[Els]

I guess I'm extrapolating my own mindset into this: Basically, if I go into anything with the mentality that it's just a placeholder until my dream is achieved, I would not want to put much effort into it.

 

I'm not talking about just working full-time exactly - more about moving up a career path, which typically takes at least 5-10 years. Usually, the average age at which people have kids is younger than the average age at which people reach the pinnacle of their careers. Retiring young is rather different in that the age isn't restricted by your biological clock, so even when people speak about 'retiring young' they usually mean 45+ at LEAST. Most women give birth to kids between the ages of 25-39. If we're talking about simply being a housewife, period, many people get married even earlier than that. So basically, your housewife dream would be logically achievable much earlier than the pinnacle of success in your chosen career. Would you not consider the early years of working 'a waste' then, since those are typically the toughest years (and also most expensive, if you consider taking a degree in college as well), and you would most likely not reach the pinnacle?

Edited February 14, 2011 by Elswyth

[zengirl]

That's what I mean. How can anyone have housewifery as an AIM in life and not fall into that trap? Whereas, if you take the independent route while maintaining housewifery as an aim in life, would you not feel that all the time and effort you're pouring into your career will be wasted since you're ultimately just waiting for a bacon-winning man to come along the whole time?

 

A lot of the younger teachers I know/work with want to be housewives (not me, though as I said, I'd potentially stay home with a young baby, depending on circumstances). That's a career where you can pour energy into it without feeling it wasted. I find that you'll find quite a few of these women in nursing, too, which is an excellent idea (as they can more easily go back to that than any other career should the marriage not work out). I think some of these more nurturing fields would be a good mesh with that -- caring for other people in some way. Probably not the same as caring for your own family, of course, though at least the energy seems to tie together.

 

However, I don't understand how they date, really. They must consider income level a lot, of course, but also how do you really bring that up to a guy? And what if they met a guy they adored who didn't want a housewife? It seems harder to navigate, and like you get into a point where it's less about the person you marry than the lifestyle, but maybe it's really not and that's just based on some of the girls I've known who expressed that desire. (That's not to say it's true for all SAH moms; I know many who were ambivalent about it at first, who would've married a man who couldn't have provided in full, and who didn't have staying at home as a core ambition but just as something that seemed nice, if possible, for the kids and family.)

[sweetjasmine]

I guess I'm extrapolating my own mindset into this: Basically, if I go into anything with the mentality that it's just a placeholder until my dream is achieved, I would not want to put much effort into it.

 

I sort of feel the same way, but sort of don't. I also feel like someone can put effort into something temporary without feeling like it would be wasted since they're after a different goal in the end.

 

And like I suggested, people who want one thing aren't likely to commit to another path that requires years and years of hard work and preparation, like medical school.

 

I'm not talking about just working full-time exactly - more about moving up a career path, which typically takes at least 5-10 years. Usually, the average age at which people have kids is younger than the average age at which people reach the pinnacle of their careers. Retiring young is rather different in that the age isn't restricted by your biological clock, so even when people speak about 'retiring young' they usually mean 45+ at LEAST. Most women give birth to kids between the ages of 25-39. If we're talking about simply being a housewife, period, many people get married even earlier than that. So basically, your housewife dream would be logically achievable much earlier than the pinnacle of success in your chosen career. Would you not consider the early years of working 'a waste' then, since those are typically the toughest years (and also most expensive, if you consider taking a degree in college as well), and you would most likely not reach the pinnacle?

 

It's not always about the pinnacle. The process is important. I started grad school and quit. Just because I walked out with just an MA and not a PhD doesn't mean the time and effort was a total waste. I got something out of it, and it was part of my life. My experiences were worth more to me than the end goal I never reached, and they've shaped who I am.

 

I don't view it as a waste if you get something out of it and if it helps you make ends meet. I don't view getting to the very top of the career ladder as the most important thing. I view it as part of a process (since after the pinnacle, you start going back down eventually ), and processes often get interrupted or veered off track, by choice or by accident. I certainly didn't expect to end up where I am now. I'm in a "temporary" field that I need to stay in for at least 2 years in order to get to where I want to go. It's only a waste if I view it as such and don't try to get anything out of it.

 

The other thing is that it never, ever hurts to have some work experience and education under your belt. Even if you're a housewife, you need to be at least somewhat prepared to suddenly go out into the workforce and bring in an income. You may end up divorced. Your spouse may become ill or incapacitated or he may die. You're less screwed if you worked a little before marriage.

Edited February 14, 2011 by sweetjasmine