irc333 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I saw this profile of a woman, she really sounded appealing until she got the part where she says, "I am looking to fulfill the role of a traditional housewife. To stay at home, to take care of the kids, and not have to work, and thus is looking for a man with a steady job. I have to admit, expecting a man to support her and children is expecting a little too much? She followed that up with "I'm not a gold-digger or anything, but I just don't want to stress out about money and possibly not having any" Of course, you could resolve that issue by not having kids, too. Of course she ALSO says she is willing to have a meal waiting for her man when he gets home, keep the home spotless, and yard clean, and keep him happy in the bedroom as they both fall to sleep satisified. Actually, she sounds like a dream come true....a woman that's willing to fufill a Beaver Cleaver role in 2011?? Interesting, but how can one support kids AND her, with one male income, plus where she lives...well...and where I live...the area is not lucrative. The only kind of work around here is blue collar work, workin' at the Wal-Mart, or retail. Anyone know any single women that still wants to fulfill the role? Even in 2011?
spackle Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I don't mind some cooking and cleaning but I'm not doing the ironing or having kids Hell, going to work is easier than running a house+kids. You have your set hours and clock off, being a house frau means you're on the job 24/7! Not for me I'm too lazy.
SmileFace Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 She needs to needs to find a DoLoren for that kind of fantasy. "where we are going we don't need roads" lol I know many women who would not mind the whole Beaver Cleaver role but it is hard to live in that role these days.
carhill Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 It's (single income) not a big issue where I live, as the cost of living is relatively modest, assuming one is living within their means and not trying to keep up with the Joneses. I'd have no problem with such an arrangement, as it would allow me to focus more on regrowing my business, instead of being distracted constantly with domestic chores. My best friend operates like this and hasn't grocery shopped or washed dishes, as examples, in 20+ years. Where is he today, on Saturday? Working down at the business while all his employees are home with their families and his wife is cleaning house and doing the domestic chores. They want for *nothing*. The trick is finding a woman who sees such an arrangement as an equal partnership and a team effort. Each partner's contribution carries value and is appreciated. I happened to have been parented in such an arrangement and know how it works and how well. Luckily I also was cross-trained to fulfill both roles as need be. It's made dealing with 'modern' women more palatable, even if not satisfying. Good luck in your search
Author irc333 Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 Well, I have heard, it can psychologically mess kids up, if you drop them off at a daycare, while mom goes to work. Apparently, having a relative or even the mom stay with the kids makes for a healthy kid (mentally) And the daycare thing is a bad idea. Of course, she's "undecided" on having kids, and I'm kinda leaning towards not having any myself, not that I'm approaching 40. I Googled the city she's in....and I thoght I lived out in the boondocks....she's REALLY in a one flashing red-light town. lol Kinda makes sense she wants that role. She would be happy in a double-wide trailer. lol Or maybe even single wide.
westrock Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Yes it's possible. Regarding the income issue, she could run a home based business from home which is a lot easier in today's wired world.
carhill Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 As a point of reference, I live a couple miles from a two stoplight town and a woman who expects to be a housewife and her husband have this as their *second* home. Trust me, we don't live in trailers out here
lenny Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I know a few couples that when the children came along, the wife gave up her career to stay with the kids until they were in school and then after they were in school only worked part time or from home within the school hours. I don't believe this was the original plans they had getting together. They were both working at the beginning and when their family started expanding, made the decision at this point whether it would be affordable. I think this is very realistic. Living in an area with no lucrative work would also likely mean housing is more affordable. If you factor in the high cost of child care you would be saving plus the household expenses that could be lower when someone has the time to garden and cook, this can add up to quite a bit (buy halves of beef, no high priced convenience meals). You may have to make some sacrifices to today's living standards if your on limited income (maybe high end stainless steel appliances and a tv in every room isn't within the budget) but I really think it could be done.
lenny Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 More on this, you'd be surprised how many women are fulfilling this role these days. I was exploring the idea of doing once-a-month-cooking for my family in an effort to save time and money while I was trying to do the single parent thing and was surprised that the majority of the gals in the forums on these sites were actually stay at home moms.
Ophelia11 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I was a stay at home mom for five years until my husband cheated on me with a man:rolleyes:. I have three young kids and daycare now and it costs almost all the money I make.
Nexus One Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Recently a female colleague of mine stopped working to be with her 3 kids, while simultaneously starting her own business. She had a busy management job and was making crazy hours. She scaled back massively on her hours at first, but upper management still asked her to work on weekends, so she quit. I understand and wish her the best of luck and success with her new company.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Apparently she watched too many reality tv shows ( Bravo series, anyone?). I don't think it's vital to have to settle down and start a family, especially in this era, but I mean there are still kooky people out there who thinks the 50s were awesome, and Charles Manson was God . All I'm saying is, her thinking is slightly backward. Maybe she's just one of those cruisers in life who likes to live on others' money and being pampered.
musemaj11 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 People who are content being stay at home spouses are like people who are content with working at McDonalds. They have no ambition in life and I honestly look down on such people. The hardest part of being a stay at home spouse is if you have small kids. But if you dont have kids or your kids are already teenagers, you are just a selfish lazy cow if you still wanna stay home while your partner slaves away at work every day to feed you.
mo mo Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I got a better one for you. A guy I know was talking about this girl that really likes him, but he criticizes her for not having enough ambitions or goals. He told me that if he is going to be in a serious relationship, the woman has to have a college degree and a steady job. This guy is 30, lives with his parents, still hasn't gotten his college degree (been working on it for 10+ years) and he is unemployed.
Hopeful30 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Lots of men can. If you can't, then don't contact her. My dad took in my mum with 2 kids, and supports all of us. He doesn't seem to have a problem. He had to do it, so he did.
musemaj11 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I got a better one for you. A guy I know was talking about this girl that really likes him, but he criticizes her for not having enough ambitions or goals. He told me that if he is going to be in a serious relationship, the woman has to have a college degree and a steady job. This guy is 30, lives with his parents, still hasn't gotten his college degree (been working on it for 10+ years) and he is unemployed. Lol, he is a clown. I bet he was probably joking though or you just made the story up.
mo mo Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Lots of men can. If you can't, then don't contact her. My dad took in my mum with 2 kids, and supports all of us. He doesn't seem to have a problem. He had to do it, so he did. How long ago was that though?? Times have changed...
Hopeful30 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 How long ago was that though?? Times have changed... I don't think its so much that time has changed, I think it's more that people aren't raised the same anymore. This was about 10 years ago.
mo mo Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Lol, he is a clown. I bet he was probably joking though or you just made the story up. No, it's true and he was dead serious. He is a little crazy. I didn't mention that. His craziness is deceptive though because he seems like a normal dude, but every now and then he says some stuff that make you go..... hmmmmmmmm
sweetjasmine Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 The trick is finding a woman who sees such an arrangement as an equal partnership and a team effort. Each partner's contribution carries value and is appreciated. Absolutely. It won't work if either partner looks down on the other or if there's resentment. I'd like to stay at home when we have children until they're teenagers. We'll see if it's even possible, though in some areas the cost of day care is enough to make the extra income useless. It's a tough balancing act: if you work full-time, you're a bad mother who doesn't care about her children and is okay with strangers raising them, but if you don't work, you're a lazy, mooching cow with no ambition. I wish people would let others decide what's best for them instead of jumping right ahead to obnoxious, condescending judgment.
mo mo Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I don't think its so much that time has changed, I think it's more that people aren't raised the same anymore. This was about 10 years ago. Wait, so you're only 10 years old?
sb129 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I saw this profile of a woman, she really sounded appealing until she got the part where she says, "I am looking to fulfill the role of a traditional housewife. To stay at home, to take care of the kids, and not have to work, and thus is looking for a man with a steady job. Of course she ALSO says she is willing to have a meal waiting for her man when he gets home, keep the home spotless, and yard clean, and keep him happy in the bedroom as they both fall to sleep satisified. Anyone know any single women that still wants to fulfill the role? Even in 2011? At least she is being honest. I know a few women who were up front about wanting that, and I also know a few who have quit working after having kids. I am a working mum, and staying at home with the children 24-7 is harder physical work for me than going to my actual job. The trick is finding a woman who sees such an arrangement as an equal partnership and a team effort. Each partner's contribution carries value and is appreciated. This is true- and if she finds a man that fits that brief, everyone wins and is happy. I really don't see the problem with it. Different strokes and all that. Maybe she's just one of those cruisers in life who likes to live on others' money and being pampered. Having kids is far from 'cruisy' I can assure you.
sb129 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 It's a tough balancing act: if you work full-time, you're a bad mother who doesn't care about her children and is okay with strangers raising them, but if you don't work, you're a lazy, mooching cow with no ambition. I wish people would let others decide what's best for them instead of jumping right ahead to obnoxious, condescending judgment. Thanks SJ- this is absolutely the double standard mothers have to put up with, and it drives me nuts sometimes. In my real life its easier- I have found people to be far more judgmental on here. Most mothers self flagellate themselves enough without getting it in the neck from others as well. I definitely feel guilty about going to work sometimes, but I would also feel terrible about not working if I gave it up because I want to be able to provide a good lifestyle for my daughter and I need the mental challenge of working as I enjoy it. By the same token I have stay at home mum friends who also wrestle with their consciences about their choices and they worry about being out of the workforce and the implications that may have later on for them. ALL of our children are happy and well adjusted so far. Dont be so quick to judge.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I know a lot of stay at home moms. My sister-in-law has 3 young children and she stays home. I plan on staying at home for a few years when I have children as well. I don't think it's odd at all.
musemaj11 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I don't think its so much that time has changed, I think it's more that people aren't raised the same anymore. And thats a good thing. I mean my mother was raised being taught that she was less than a man. It's a tough balancing act: if you work full-time, you're a bad mother who doesn't care about her children and is okay with strangers raising them, but if you don't work, you're a lazy, mooching cow with no ambition. I wish people would let others decide what's best for them instead of jumping right ahead to obnoxious, condescending judgment./QUOTE] These days I have never heard anyone calling a mother who works full-time a bad mother. You probably heard such comments 20 years ago and you warped it to 2011.
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