tiger20 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) For all you single men out there like myself here's an idea of dating that is worth considering. I'm considering this idea myself. That idea is to set up first dates with a different woman 5 nights a week- Sundays through Thursdays. No Fridays or Saturdays. Dating is a numbers game & the more phone numbers you ask for the closer you are to finding a woman who is compatible with you. This is the fastest way to do it. We know that just because a woman gives you her number doesn't necessarily mean she's interested. If you get 50 phone numbers over the course of 1 month then there is a fraction of those women who have low interest level. Some of them you won't get an answer when you call. Some of them gave you a fake number. Some of them show up on the date but you likely won't get a 2nd date with them. So to avoid putting all your eggs in one basket try setting up a first date with 20 different women over the course of 1 month. You set one date for woman number 1 on a Sunday afternoon. Set a date for woman number 2 on a Monday evening. Set a date for woman number 3 on Tuesday evening. The likelihood is slim that all 20 women will show up to each of these dates over the course of 4 weeks but you don't know until you try. Continue to hustle for other phone numbers during this time. This method could work better for me since I will not likely make it past the first date with most women due to the fact that I don't want to get married or have kids. The more women I go out with on a first date the closer I'll get to finding a woman who is ok with dating exclusively for the rest of her life. It's a long shot for me because I'm 30 & most women my age their biological clock is ticking & they want kids & marriage. But it's still worth a try. It will save me time. Since the odds are slim that I'll make it past the first date why not set up a first date with other women ahead of time? This way I'll be all set & ready to head on to the next woman and the next woman & the next woman until I find someone who is compatible with my long term goals. Each of these dates will be at a coffee shop like starbucks or a cafe. I plan to make each of these dates 30-45 minutes & spend 12 bucks altogether on coffee & donuts. 12 dollars a night 5 nights a week is 60 bucks a week & that turns into approximately 250$ per month on first dates. It's a good investment. Better than blowing 50$ on dinner on the first date when I likely won't get a 2nd date due to incompatible long term goals. If you are doing online dating make sure you a member of at least 4 dating sites. Single women might want to consider this method too. All the single men & women members of loveshack. Ladies if marriage & kids are your long term goals then this method will work well for you to find a guy who wants the same things for his future. Edited February 12, 2011 by tiger20
Kamille Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 You know what 20, this actually sounds like a good plan for you. Have fun! Let us know how it goes.
january2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 You know what 20, this actually sounds like a good plan for you. Have fun! Let us know how it goes. Seconded. I'd love to see you try all these techniques that you're suggesting and to report back on the results. Getting out of the 'library' and doing 'fieldwork' makes for a much more interesting thread, in my opinion.
oaks Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 So to avoid putting all your eggs in one basket try setting up a first date with 20 different women over the course of 1 month. You set one date for woman number 1 on a Sunday afternoon. Set a date for woman number 2 on a Monday evening. Set a date for woman number 3 on Tuesday evening. You seem to have a thing for the number 20. It sounds like you've described multi-dating, but I wouldn't recommend 20 'at once' and I think you should start somewhere more modest in keeping with your abilities. Try 3. Do keep us updated with your progress. You're starting tomorrow, right?
mo mo Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Yea, I was about to give a smartass response to this thread (because it'd be so easy) but I'm gonna join everyone here and ask you to go ahead with the system. You try it, keep a journal for us to follow, and at the end of the month we'll see where you're at. You don't have to give in-depth details, just say something like Date 1, not interested. Date 2, will call back to set up another date. etc. etc.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Dating is a numbers game & the more phone numbers you ask for the closer you are to finding a woman who is compatible with you. This is the fastest way to do it. Dating can be your numbers game, lol, but it sure doesn't have to be that way. When you're dating lots of people, you're not listening for the one you want to be with, you're just dating lots of people.
dispatch3d Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I think your numbers might be a little unrealistic but I like the approach. (meaning 5 dates/week would be tough to do I'd think).
Author tiger20 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Dating can be your numbers game, lol, but it sure doesn't have to be that way. When you're dating lots of people, you're not listening for the one you want to be with, you're just dating lots of people. I am listening for the one I want to be with. That is a woman who will be ok with just dating me exclusively for the rest of her life without marriage & without kids.
mo mo Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Ok tiger, let's see some progress. 20 women in a month. When are you starting? Have you started already??
Author tiger20 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Went out on a Sunday afternoon date yesterday. Didn't go well anyway. She offered to pay her way so I knew that was a red flag. It was moot to even bring up the subject of marriage. At the end of the date I went home & threw her phone number away. Got a date set up with woman # 2 tomorrow. No expectations. Many times the women don't even show up.
mo mo Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Out of curiosity... where are you meeting these women?
fishtaco Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 You've just described multi dating. This is what I do. Except I don't do it to that degree. 20 is A LOT. I don't devote all my free time to women. I want to play guitar. I want to hang out with my friends. And sometimes, I want to play video games. This is what I do. I keep getting numbers every opportunity that pops up during the course of my normal socializing. Like you said, most of them will be duds. That's why I don't stop even when I do get a number. Gotta keep cranking. When I get to at least date #2 with a woman. Then I will consider us "dating". I will keep going until I have three women that I have "dating" status, then I stop. I'll keep meeting women and attempt to leave good impressions, i.e. planting the seed, but I won't take the step to get a date from them. The reason is, the women that I'm "dating" would still drop off anytime. I do need to secure future prospects, even if I don't act on them now. Three is the number I can handle comfortably. If I'm on a roll, I may end up with four, that would be my max. I've had five before, that was just crazy. I felt like I was just dealing with women 24/7. Now I don't treat dating as a hobby. It's the evil I must endure in order to get into a serious relationship. Hence I have my limitations. For people that actually enjoy this, they may have higher tolerance than I do. But the numbers you put up I feel is kind of excessive.
Author tiger20 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Out of curiosity... where are you meeting these women? I met her at a birthday party the last week of January. Some of these other women I meet on dating sites, others I meet through friends, others I meet at night school, singles groups at church, etc.
mustofbeen Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Good for you man, i wish i had the energy to do that
Author tiger20 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 It takes a lot of practice. Once you've been conditioned to being rejected then over time it won't really bother you much anymore. What helps for me is that I don't have high expectations when I go out on a date & I don't take women personally. These days I go on the date almost not caring at all whether I'm going to get a 2nd date or not. Part of the fun of dating is meeting new interesting women. So I'm basically prepared for red flags to come. I don't get bent out of shape when women don't show up on the date or they offer to pay their way or they don't touch me during the date.
mo mo Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I met her at a birthday party the last week of January. Some of these other women I meet on dating sites, others I meet through friends, others I meet at night school, singles groups at church, etc. hmm wow So where in the US do you live? What age group are you in?? East Coast? Midwest??
elaina Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Ladies if marriage & kids are your long term goals then this method will work well for you to find a guy who wants the same things for his future. No. As a lady who wants marriage and kids, that would confuse me to death. I can't handle more than 1 man at a time!!! The best way for me to distinguish if the guy wants the same things is to ask him and see what he wants with me by his actions and how he treats me. I don't have to multidate to do that. Multidating just confuses me, though I understand why people do it.
Jazzari Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 No. As a lady who wants marriage and kids, that would confuse me to death. I can't handle more than 1 man at a time!!! The best way for me to distinguish if the guy wants the same things is to ask him and see what he wants with me by his actions and how he treats me. I don't have to multidate to do that. Multidating just confuses me, though I understand why people do it. I agree. Rather than "being about the numbers", for me is about the QUALITY. I would rather go on fewer dates with quality men that I had something in common with. Why waste my time on anyone else? And going into it "not caring" will send the wrong kind of signal. Your partner WILL pick up on that.
GivenUp0083 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Tiger20 is stealing this from a book once again. He's not offering advice or presenting his own ideas.
Author tiger20 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 hmm wow So where in the US do you live? What age group are you in?? East Coast? Midwest?? I live on the east coast. I am 30 years old.
Author tiger20 Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I agree. Rather than "being about the numbers", for me is about the QUALITY. I would rather go on fewer dates with quality men that I had something in common with. Why waste my time on anyone else? And going into it "not caring" will send the wrong kind of signal. Your partner WILL pick up on that. Going on a date almost not caring what the outcome is going to be will make it easier for you to write this person off once the red flags start popping up. Someone posted that it takes a lot of guts to just throw her phone number away after I notice a red flag. Yeah it does take guts. You wont' be able to do it if you go into a date with expectations that it's going to lead to something long term or even exclusive or even a 2nd date.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Tiger20, I have some questions for you. Why do you think that the ideal relationship for you would be dating 2 X per week for the rest of your life? Would such a relationship include sex? What would you expect to get out of a relationship like that? What do you think a woman would get out of it? Would your level of intimacy and closeness increase as you continued to date 2 X per week for the next 50 or 60 years? Or would those things remain on the same level throughout? Have you ever had a relationship with a woman? Have you ever had sex with a woman? Why is it that you seem to be fixated on giving relationship advice here on LS when you don't seem to have had any experiences to base it upon? Thanks in advance for answering my questions.
Jazzari Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Going on a date almost not caring what the outcome is going to be will make it easier for you to write this person off once the red flags start popping up. Someone posted that it takes a lot of guts to just throw her phone number away after I notice a red flag. Yeah it does take guts. You wont' be able to do it if you go into a date with expectations that it's going to lead to something long term or even exclusive or even a 2nd date.Since I'm very selective in my dates, I don't really have this problem. I find the red flags before the date ever happens. If I don't have the expectation that it will lead to something real, then I don't bother to go on a date at all. I'm in it for the long term, I don't date for fun or simple companionship. So perhaps your method works for others, just not for me.
Author tiger20 Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 Since I'm very selective in my dates, I don't really have this problem. I find the red flags before the date ever happens. If I don't have the expectation that it will lead to something real, then I don't bother to go on a date at all. I'm in it for the long term, I don't date for fun or simple companionship. So perhaps your method works for others, just not for me. Red flags don't always pop up before the date. Anyone can do everything right and be on their best behavior on the first date or even for 5 dates or 10 dates. Just because I don't see any red flags on the first date doesn't mean there never will be. I have to get time in with her until a red flag pops up. If things are so far so good then I continue to ask her out for another date & then another until there's a red flag. No red flags then I'll continue to date her.
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