my ex gf behaviour :(

[monkeynuts]

right met this girl on an online dating site,hit it off right away. Met her and ended up falling for her. distance is an hour and 40 mins drive so we would see eachother on weekends and maybe once during the week.

 

From the beginning thoguh she was very insecure, would question me when i went out and even if I was out with who I said I was.

Though dispite this we fell inlove, talknig of getting a house together this year and spending the rest of our lives together.

fell out over christmas, something quite big came up between us which would push even the most hardened coouples. She feel pregnant (freak accident) and had to have an abortion due to an illness she has which meens the medication she is on would harm her and the baby.

 

anyway had trust issues come up during this period. went through very rocky month, got through the abortion and she needed some space which I gave her.

 

She then travelled to mine on the weekend and seem to be back to her normal self, though she would say I was pushing her... example I was talknig about her coming on hte back of my motorbike, she wasnt sure etc and I was jsut saying ill get you full leathers, wont go crazy with you on the back...and she snapped and talked to me like I was a piece of crap... kinda snapped back and we had a row.

 

Anyhow its got to the stage now where we broke up, I broke up with her as I foudn hse had sent a message to her ex on facebook (only knew because i know her password...or did)

when i went up to get my stuff she cried her eyes out and went on about how special i am to her.

 

left that we would see how we both felt in few days.

anyhow sicne then she has compeltely changed.

 

said she doesnt want to be with me anymore, jsut wants to be alone. kinda stayed in contact but not like how it was.

 

made it clear to her how I feel that I want us to try and get back together, at times i wouldnt txt her and she would txt me. If i brought up about anything she would get funny.

she got funny when a old female friend wrote to me on facebook, she didnt like that.

 

anyhow recenetly i spoke to her on hte phone last week...talekd about meeting up and she flipped. bottled down to her hanging up on me, i phoned her back about 6 times each time she picked up, spoke for abit then hanged up again. that night she told me she never wanted to see me again. never wanted to get back with me. I had changed from the person I was in the beginning. said some hurtful things aswell that its all my fault we are in this situation and if i dont change ill be lonely forever.

told me not to contact her again by phone,text or facebook.

 

was heartbroken didnt contact her the next day and deleted her as a friend on facebook as it would hurt to look on her profile.

that night got a message off her saying 'oh u deleted me of fbook-your choice, take care and im just saying bye, sorry'

 

sent few messages back on forth and more of less said u were speaking ot me nasty and what are you playing at textin me when u said to leave you alone, how can u walk away from me that easy.

 

she replied with she knows when hse gets anrgy/upset she will say stuff to hurt me and lash out. its not easy for her to walk away but she cant be with me at the minute.

also said if I wanted to meet next friday then its up to me.

 

ITs like WHAT HTE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!

 

my friends family say she is playing me, stringing me along. that i shouldnt bother with her.

but Im deeply inlove with this girl. she gets funny with me and tells me to leave her alone and then contacts me.

though since I said about meeting up halfway next week she said ok and i havent heard from her since.

 

Im totally confused....why would she be doing this. do i contact her as im missing her. or just wait and see if she does me...meen we are meeting friday supposidly.

 

she said she cant explain why she cant be with me or something but not sure if that was just over text.

 

if someone meens that much to you, you fight for it and thats what I want to do. but feels like im in a never ending battle. its hurt me alot. we used to be in constant contact and now nothing. I cant stop thinknig of her, wonder whether she misses me and why she hasnt texted me.

 

someone please help, ive resorted to the internet as friends/family dont know what Im gonig through.

 

btw im 24 and she is 25

[spackle]

sounds like you're both going through a lot of emotional stuff, when one wants to talk the other doesn't seem ready.

 

'if someone meens that much to you, you fight for it and thats what I want to do'

 

that's what the romantic movies tell us SHOULD happen but real life ain't like that, people get scared of what they feel, scared of what could happen, carry baggage from past relationships to the present and so on. Logic doesn't have anything to do with it.

[monkeynuts]

**forgot to say the other night we had a massive bust up on hte phone, she told me she never wanted to see me again, never wanted to speak with me and i need to leave her alone, stop ringing and texting. that she is gonig to block my number. that I have to deal with the fact were not together and never getting back and move on.

which yes hurt alot, and I respected her wishes, unfriended her on facebook and was very very upset

but the next night she texts me saying about me unfriending her and its my choice. shes just texting to say bye and she will be gone for good with unhappy smileys in the message.

obviously i bring up about her wanting to leave me alone, went on about she was sorry, she was just upset and is sorry.

asked her why is it so easy for her to walk away from me and she said its not easy but she cant be with me at the minute and has to let me go.

 

I asked her ot explain and she said she couldnt, but said if I wanted to she will meet me next friday and that its in my hands.

 

so yeah I text her saying ill meet at a place/time........didnt ask her I told her.

 

god knows whats gonig ot happen, get the feeling she will back out and do a no show. but then i think she is the one who suggested it.

 

any input people?

[depplover_1980]

You have yourself a lovely bunny boiler type on your hands - highly insecure and plays lots of games. She is constantly testing you and your love for her by constantly ending it, but then giving you back the come on to start the cycle over and over again. Women like this become addicted to the drama and the extreme emotions and perhaps you have to some extent?

 

But you have to realise this is not a healthy relationship to be in and if you love her much as you say you do (though I believe you have been manipulated to some degree) then you need to take charge here. I would lay down an ultimatum that she needs to sort her head out, decide what she wants and let you know - give her 2 weeks and let her know you are not to communicate within that time AT ALL. You then DO NOT CONTACT or reply to her pleadings, you need to get the power back now or this woman will continue to walk all over you. Love should be equal and right now it is all about her. See that a bit of suffering is required to get to a better place.

 

Seperate issue regarding the abortion, which I would have given her leniance over had she not always been possessive. After the 2 weeks are up and you both want to get together and discuss moving forwards in an adult manner, I would mention that she seeks counselling to discuss what happened and even offer to go with her? You could then put everything successfully behind you.

 

But you really do need to man up, stop letting her treat you this way and put some thinking space in the equation for the both of you.

[monkeynuts]

woke up this morning and all i could think about was her, when im busy its alot easier but i cant stay busy 24/7.

yesterday was the first time in 6 months we hadnt had any contact in one day. it felt weird.

I know we left it that we would meet up on friday but im confused as to why all of a sudden she has said she will meet when the past few weeks she has said she doesnt want to see me.

i wonder if she is missing me, thinking of me I doubt it though seeing as if she was she would contact me; guess she really is letting me go for reasons which are unknown.

should i be strong and not contact her? we did agree to meet fri so do i text a day or 2 before and say are we still on? or just turn up at the place and see if she shows?

 

I still love this girl, and yes ive been hurt over the last few weeks- but unless both parties are willing to put in the equal effort there is no chance I realise that, and the impression I get from her is she doesnt want to for some reason.

 

seems like the first time now that she really isnt going to contact me again....feel like i cant hold out and I jsut want to ring her........

 

 

trouble is the text she sent where it said

'Its not easy to walk away but I cant be with you at the min so have to let you go' is really playing on my mind