Roadlesstaken Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 There is a man that I am interested in and currently he is out of town on business. He told me last night that he missed me, but that he is a lost cause. He also told me that he doesn't feel that I am happy being with him. I am or else I wouldn't be interested in him. What is that supposed to mean? How would you have taking that?
Titania22 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 There is a man that I am interested in and currently he is out of town on business. He told me last night that he missed me, but that he is a lost cause. He also told me that he doesn't feel that I am happy being with him. I am or else I wouldn't be interested in him. What is that supposed to mean? How would you have taking that? He could be self sabotaging.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 When someone says things like that it's because they have doubts and insecurities. It can be break up talk you know the classic "it's not you it's me". That said, if it is breakup talk because he thinks he's not in your league or whatever.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 It means he's non-commital and fishing to see if you're ready to settle for casual.
spackle Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 It means he's non-commital and fishing to see if you're ready to settle for casual. once upon a time I would have said 'oh it doesn't mean anything he's just talking himself down'. Now - exactly what xpaperxcux said - this man is telling you exactly where he stands with you. I really am a lost cause and can't believe you're sticking round through this = there must be something wrong with you for being interested in me.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 When a person tells you who they are, listen. He has said he is a lost cause. If that's not a ticket to freedom I dunno what is
K.K. Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Yea, what is that saying..something like when a man (woman whatever) tells you what they are- listen. My ex boyfriend used to tell me at the beginning that he was an *******...and hateful. Well guess what. He was. Stupid me just let it intrigue me more. Dumb dumb dumb dumb. I'd have been better off beating myself in the head with a frying pan.
hopesndreams Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 How would you have taking that? He's not interested. It's the "it's not you, it's me" line.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Yea, what is that saying..something like when a man (woman whatever) tells you what they are- listen. My ex boyfriend used to tell me at the beginning that he was an *******...and hateful. Well guess what. He was. Stupid me just let it intrigue me more. Dumb dumb dumb dumb. I'd have been better off beating myself in the head with a frying pan. StbxH would tell me he was an *******. I should have listened. Not gonna say I was better off beating myself in the head with a frying pan... more like I would have been better off beating HIM in the head with a frying pan. Oh well. He knows to stay out of range of my guns... I mean apartment now.
Woggle Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I would believe him. He is telling you from the start what he is truly about so heed the warning.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Translation: Don't waste your time with me.
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 Thanks everyone. I still don't know why he said that he missed me. Weird. Oh well, time to move on!
spackle Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Thanks everyone. I still don't know why he said that he missed me. Weird. Oh well, time to move on! in his own way he probably did - or the attention you gave to him
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 in his own way he probably did - or the attention you gave to him Probably the attention I gave to him because he said that I was good for his ego.
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 Well, you all were right. He asked me late last night why I liked him when there are many other nice men out there who would treat me better. So, I let it go and today he said that he used to like me, but that he is sorry that it did not work out. He asked me what I was going to do this evening and I told him that I was going to go to a late movie with a friend. He got upset. I don't understand why he got upset if he isn't interested in me.
K.K. Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Because he's got a screw loose. I can tell. I bet he's an abusive person. Controlling. Probably even physically. See, we women think we can change somebody like that and their detached mysterious ways just make us want to try harder to get them to want us.(stupid!) I bet you just can't get him out of your head can you? Look. LET IT GO. He is no good and is warning you up front that he's no good so that when you stick around he'll tell you, "It's your own fault, I told you how I was."
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 Thanks KK. My friends say the same thing. So bye bye loser! I feel like I am a loser magnet lately.
spackle Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Probably the attention I gave to him because he said that I was good for his ego. there you go, he's an honest nutjob! lol And he's probably upset about going to the film because you're giving someone else your attention and not him. Are you sure this guy isn't like 5 years old and you stole his dumper truck?
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 there you go, he's an honest nutjob! lol And he's probably upset about going to the film because you're giving someone else your attention and not him. Are you sure this guy isn't like 5 years old and you stole his dumper truck? He sometimes acted like a 5 year old. lol Geez, he doesn't want me, but doesn't want anyone else to have me either. Yeah, if he thought that I was going to stick around purely for his one sided use then he is a nutjob.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 From a male perspective: The guy probably is afraid that he would not be able to keep you. So he's not even going to try... saying he did not like you anymore was just a way to preserve some pride. He probably does like you a whole lot...so much that he thinks he could never be good enough. As for being an abuser...if he was the abusing type he would think what he thinks and try to keep and control you. Abusive men get women they like, think they aren't good enough, and try to break them down. There's a difference.
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 From a male perspective: The guy probably is afraid that he would not be able to keep you. So he's not even going to try... saying he did not like you anymore was just a way to preserve some pride. He probably does like you a whole lot...so much that he thinks he could never be good enough. As for being an abuser...if he was the abusing type he would think what he thinks and try to keep and control you. Abusive men get women they like, think they aren't good enough, and try to break them down. There's a difference. Good points Mrlonelyone. However, if he really liked me he had a funny way of showing it because he didn't treat me that well. My birthday was last week and he knew it and yet didn't ask me to do anything. When I asked what he was doing that day, he said that he would call me towards the end of his shift, which was around 5 pm, to tell me if he felt up to doing anything. I am sorry, but I am not going to wait around for someone. If he was able to make advance plans with his friends for the day before my birthday and for the day after which was the Superbowl, then he could have made plans with me.
blind_otter Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 There is a man that I am interested in and currently he is out of town on business. He told me last night that he missed me, but that he is a lost cause. He also told me that he doesn't feel that I am happy being with him. I am or else I wouldn't be interested in him. What is that supposed to mean? How would you have taking that? In the beginning of a relationship, people will tell you everything you need to know if you just listen. IME when people talk like this about themselves it is for a reason, and they know they are not healed or suitable to be in relationships but they are too afraid to deal with the problem directly and be alone during that process...so they just keep getting into relationships and messing other people up. Sad people making other people sad with their sadness. So depressing. Listen to him. He's telling you he can't perceive the happiness that you give.
Jynxx Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Thanks KK. My friends say the same thing. So bye bye loser! I feel like I am a loser magnet lately. So -The guy is being totally honest with you. That takes balls. -The guy wants you to be with you but feels like you deserve better, and sacrifices you being with him (that he likes so much) in order to tell you. -You are judgemental about people. -You are whining about the situation and what it says about you. Sounds to me like he's a better person than you are, and I'm surprised no one else told you this.
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 So -The guy is being totally honest with you. That takes balls. -The guy wants you to be with you but feels like you deserve better, and sacrifices you being with him (that he likes so much) in order to tell you. -You are judgemental about people. -You are whining about the situation and what it says about you. Sounds to me like he's a better person than you are, and I'm surprised no one else told you this. Thanks Jynxx. I enjoy hearing all opinions. Maybe he is better than me. Who knows?
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