Author joshislost Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Just received a new email saying : "just fyi ignoring me doesnt make u seem tough. makes u seem like a loser who cant build up enough balls to say i want it back or for me to sell it." Should I demand it back (for free), not respond, post depplover_1980 response, or tell her to sell it?
Duckduckgoose Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Keep ignoring her, she's baiting you. You said in your OP that she was abusive and treated you like crap. That hasn't changed as is obvious by what she JUST emailed you. Who cares if she sells it? IMO she's trying to sell it back to you because the pawn shop won't give her what she thinks its worth. Keep ignoring her, its gonna drive her nuts.
january2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Seconded. Keep ignoring her. She's just getting upset because she's not getting the reaction she wanted so now she's trying to goad you into responding.
depplover_1980 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 As previously mentioned I am a believer in ignore ignore, but in this case the very reason she treated you like crap is why you should post my reply. She'll be utterly gobsmacked. BUT you would need the willpower to delete all her responses without reading. Then you go NC. For good.
Chi townD Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 LOL!!! Ummmm...remind me never to piss you off Depplover!
Eeyore79 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 I think the best thing you can do is continue to ignore her, since your lack of response is obviously annoying her... but I'd love to see how gobsmacked she would be if you sent her depplover's response
depplover_1980 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Perhaps ignore her for another few days to p i s s her off, then my email BANG B I T C H GOES DOWN, the final blow.
Gossamer Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Hey. I'm originally from NYC, and have had all kindsa guys-I-stopped-dating weirdos, semi-stalkers, harassers. I find that there are many more males with Narcissistic Personality Disorder/Abusers in the world-at-large, than females. But yours is a doozy of a female. Only you know if she is an ordinary, garden-variety douchebag, or a manipulative sadist who is getting immense pleasure out of knowing exactly how to hurt you the most, flaunting her new relationship, knowing full-well she is harassing and emotionally blackmailing you. Personally, to make this sort of thing *stop*, ie, harassment, I go *waaaayyy*over the top. But, you actually have 2 options. 1) Ignore. If you ignore, and she is truly sociopathic, she will continue to see your silence as "permisson" to harass you, plain and simple. If she is just a lame, immature douchebag who needs to be ignored, she will go away, on her terms, but she will get bored. All the while though, what I don't hear from you, and this concerns me: Your phone is your PROPERTY, your emotionall well-being is your PROPERTY, and anyone who repeatedly trespasses on your peace of mind is no better than any common thug who breaks into your home to vandalize your PROPERTY. This isn't someone you should be "protecting", and still emotionally attached to. Ok. I'm trying to keep my &hit together and not rant. 2) My own personal method for *stopping* harassment, is to be even bat-**** crazier than whoever your harasser is, whether it is your douchebag, or your Narcissist. Oh, and, yes, I have had to hit some people back hard. It's the only thing that's worked. She sounds like a true dumbass whether she's just a turd without compassion and a job, or a sociopath. I would mail this by certified. Tee hee hee. Dear Ex, If you were meaning to harass and extort me with your texts--date and time stamps saved as proof--thanks for that--I have included some possible local and federal remedies, below the first paragraph. But first, I'll be the nice guy you dated. In the event that I have completely misread your texts, I hope you'll forgive me and accept the gift of a video I made of you and your boyfriend while parked outside of your building last week. It is actually a series of very exciting videos I've made of the 2 of you, your comings and goings, and a bit of some interior footage where you can see you both watching "Titanic" and then having a big fight. I have created a nice project for Youtube/Vimeo/Blip.tv, incorporating your likenesses with all your text messages and all of your abusive communication about me having no balls, for my art project to you, your new love, and to the interwebs. From your not-so-nice ex boyfriendI: have saved records of your texts, with time and date stamps. In the state of Massachusetts, extortion, your papertrail/proof of harassment to try to intimidate me into buying back a piece of jewelry, is not only a police matter, it is a felony. There is threat of harm implicit in your harassing series of emails, texts, phone calls, and harassment. Harassment, an offense separate from extortion, is also not only a felony offense, but a violation of your cell phone carrier's user agreement and state and federal laws. Your cell phone carrier, my cell phone carrier, has a clear papertrail of your intentions to harass me. This does make any complaints made against you about extortion a bit more solid. For the $500 you are trying to extort from me for the ring I gifted you in good faith during our relationship, the energy you continue to expend on trying to intimidate me into buying it back from you is better saved for an honest day's work. You are obssessed with me as the papertrail of your unwanted communications prove, and you might feel better about entertaining yourself with some new hobbies. Or, without judgements, perhaps some anger-management, therapy and medications would help you overcome your unwarranted hostility issues. Legally, here is my notice for you to stop, and should you continue to harass me, you will be liable for any and all legal consequences. Have a superfab day at the mall! /Ex-Boyfriend My ex was a @$$ to me, basically I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. She meant a lot to me thou and I'd basically do anything for this girl. She cheated on me and treated me like cr*p. Anyways been nearly a month that she went out with another guy on our anniversary. Which was bull. I haven't spoken to her for about a month since then, last night I get an email saying: -Listen I am going to be selling the ring you got me (cost me like 500 bucks) on Wednesday. If you want it I will sell it to you instead of pawning it off. Just let me know... WTF isn't she supposed to just 'return' it? What would you do? A. Don't respond leave her alone, let her do as she pleases B. Buy the ring back C. Tell her gluck selling the ring and hope the money brings her all the happiness in the world. Also open to suggestions :thumbsup:
Author joshislost Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 Keep ignoring her, she's baiting you. You said in your OP that she was abusive and treated you like crap. That hasn't changed as is obvious by what she JUST emailed you. Who cares if she sells it? IMO she's trying to sell it back to you because the pawn shop won't give her what she thinks its worth. Keep ignoring her, its gonna drive her nuts. I realize this, you're right, chances are she's already tried to pawn it and it's not in her favor. She is trying to get a reaction out of me and i've stayed strong so far. Seconded. Keep ignoring her. She's just getting upset because she's not getting the reaction she wanted so now she's trying to goad you into responding. Yep, before I would respond easily, and get abused again. I am staying strong. It hurts, but I feel she hurt me a lot. As previously mentioned I am a believer in ignore ignore, but in this case the very reason she treated you like crap is why you should post my reply. She'll be utterly gobsmacked. BUT you would need the willpower to delete all her responses without reading. Then you go NC. For good. LOL it's almost time, I feel this email is going to be the cherry on top of it all. I think the best thing you can do is continue to ignore her, since your lack of response is obviously annoying her... but I'd love to see how gobsmacked she would be if you sent her depplover's response Yep, have been staying strong. Even thou it is hard I feel it's best she clearly is only trying to hurt me in this whole situation. Perhaps ignore her for another few days to p i s s her off, then my email BANG B I T C H GOES DOWN, the final blow. I believe that's the plan. Lol it shall be epic. Hey. I'm originally from NYC, and have had all kindsa guys-I-stopped-dating weirdos, semi-stalkers, harassers. I find that there are many more males with Narcissistic Personality Disorder/Abusers in the world-at-large, than females. But yours is a doozy of a female. Only you know if she is an ordinary, garden-variety douchebag, or a manipulative sadist who is getting immense pleasure out of knowing exactly how to hurt you the most, flaunting her new relationship, knowing full-well she is harassing and emotionally blackmailing you. Personally, to make this sort of thing *stop*, ie, harassment, I go *waaaayyy*over the top. But, you actually have 2 options. 1) Ignore. If you ignore, and she is truly sociopathic, she will continue to see your silence as "permisson" to harass you, plain and simple. If she is just a lame, immature douchebag who needs to be ignored, she will go away, on her terms, but she will get bored. All the while though, what I don't hear from you, and this concerns me: Your phone is your PROPERTY, your emotionall well-being is your PROPERTY, and anyone who repeatedly trespasses on your peace of mind is no better than any common thug who breaks into your home to vandalize your PROPERTY. This isn't someone you should be "protecting", and still emotionally attached to. Ok. I'm trying to keep my &hit together and not rant. 2) My own personal method for *stopping* harassment, is to be even bat-**** crazier than whoever your harasser is, whether it is your douchebag, or your Narcissist. Oh, and, yes, I have had to hit some people back hard. It's the only thing that's worked. She sounds like a true dumbass whether she's just a turd without compassion and a job, or a sociopath. I would mail this by certified. Tee hee hee. Dear Ex, If you were meaning to harass and extort me with your texts--date and time stamps saved as proof--thanks for that--I have included some possible local and federal remedies, below the first paragraph. But first, I'll be the nice guy you dated. In the event that I have completely misread your texts, I hope you'll forgive me and accept the gift of a video I made of you and your boyfriend while parked outside of your building last week. It is actually a series of very exciting videos I've made of the 2 of you, your comings and goings, and a bit of some interior footage where you can see you both watching "Titanic" and then having a big fight. I have created a nice project for Youtube/Vimeo/Blip.tv, incorporating your likenesses with all your text messages and all of your abusive communication about me having no balls, for my art project to you, your new love, and to the interwebs. From your not-so-nice ex boyfriendI: have saved records of your texts, with time and date stamps. In the state of Massachusetts, extortion, your papertrail/proof of harassment to try to intimidate me into buying back a piece of jewelry, is not only a police matter, it is a felony. There is threat of harm implicit in your harassing series of emails, texts, phone calls, and harassment. Harassment, an offense separate from extortion, is also not only a felony offense, but a violation of your cell phone carrier's user agreement and state and federal laws. Your cell phone carrier, my cell phone carrier, has a clear papertrail of your intentions to harass me. This does make any complaints made against you about extortion a bit more solid. For the $500 you are trying to extort from me for the ring I gifted you in good faith during our relationship, the energy you continue to expend on trying to intimidate me into buying it back from you is better saved for an honest day's work. You are obssessed with me as the papertrail of your unwanted communications prove, and you might feel better about entertaining yourself with some new hobbies. Or, without judgements, perhaps some anger-management, therapy and medications would help you overcome your unwarranted hostility issues. Legally, here is my notice for you to stop, and should you continue to harass me, you will be liable for any and all legal consequences. Have a superfab day at the mall! /Ex-Boyfriend Gossamer, I can say with confidence that she is a type two. She knows where to hurt me the most, and uses it to her advantage. She told me about her new relationship last month when we were ending talks, and it hurt like hell. She has put me down various times, and in retrospect would never apologize about anything that she did wrong. That also hurt. I am currently going with ignoring, but I am may compromise an email with both your response, and depplovers response, it would be the monster of all emails. I realize that I let her run my life, and hurt me, I am putting an end to that. If you have seen my other thread in the second chances area it is more descriptive of her as a person. I don't understand why people go out of their way to hurt the ones whom loved them. It truly hurts knowing that she enjoys this, and is trying to bring me down. She knows it hurts but keeps doing it. She might only want a response, but she wants it not to know about the ring, but to know if she still has the power.
JrRos Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Keep ignoring her. Take screen shots of the e-mails and post them on Epicfail.com
Raphael Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I think an appropriate response at this point would be to tell her to stop contacting you or you will file harassment charges against her, then follow through. Have her arrested then get a restraining order against her. She will very likely violate the restraining order, then you can have her arrested again and again until she gets the message. And that will make the story that goes around even better.
sammyd Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 I'd just send her one back saying: *yawn* And then never contact her again! You sound like a really nice person, and you deserve, and will get a lot better than this in your life:) Keep up the NC!
depplover_1980 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Hey Josh, Bet you're finding it all easier to deal with knowing we're all on your side though? You are a good un as they say! x
Author joshislost Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 Keep ignoring her. Take screen shots of the e-mails and post them on Epicfail.com Hahahaha I might have to! I think an appropriate response at this point would be to tell her to stop contacting you or you will file harassment charges against her, then follow through. Have her arrested then get a restraining order against her. She will very likely violate the restraining order, then you can have her arrested again and again until she gets the message. And that will make the story that goes around even better. She hasn't actually contacted me anymore, which is a good thing. She did manage to rip my heart out without contacting me yesterday thou. I'll explain more at the bottom. I'd just send her one back saying: *yawn* And then never contact her again! You sound like a really nice person, and you deserve, and will get a lot better than this in your life:) Keep up the NC! Thanks sammyd! Very kind of you! I really hope I do get better, it hurts a lot knowing the one you love wants to hurt you soo much. Hey Josh, Bet you're finding it all easier to deal with knowing we're all on your side though? You are a good un as they say! x Yes depplover! It's been a lot better, yesterday I did receive contact, but not from her. It hurt, but idk i think it just speaks for her character. I'll describe below in my next post. Yes thou LS and the strong community has really helped me, I'd thank each and every one of its members with an e-hug lol
Author joshislost Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 So yesterday Feb. 16 the day she supposedly sold the ring, . I had not received contact from her all day, which I thought was going to be fine. Today if we were still together it would have been our 1 year 9 month. A little background. She used to work at a pool place which was also a bar and restaurant. She worked there for about a month until she got fired. The owner of the place used scan cards to access the computers and add to the customers tab. She used to have one of these cards, and when she got fired she supposedly had lost the card. Anyways I was at the gym doing my work out thing and i receive a call from her area code. I didn't answer figuring it was her. Received a vmail from the owner of the store asking if Courtney was there (apparently as I remember she had listed me as a form of emergency contact at the time of the application). He said on the vmail that she had been in earlier and a customer, and employee of his had witnessed her tampering with the machine. To please call him back that he really needed the cards for his system. I probably shouldn't have called the owner back, but I did, didn't want him thinking it was me whom took his card, or I had anything to do with it. Anyways I called the guy back (he sounded worried). I told him that I no longer had anything to do with my ex, he then asked if I knew her house number. I lied and said I didn't remember it, but it was readily available online if he looked it up via white pages. He thanked me, and was sorry that I was put on the spot like that. I then got a bit curious (I heard curiosity kills cats lol) I asked if she happen to try and pawn of a ring to him. He said no, lol. I asked what had happened. He told me that apparently she was there yesterday afternoon with another guy (yeah not going to lie that hurt) playing pool. She apparently had her employee card with her and was using her ex-employers card to charge food, drinks, and playing pool to other accounts. In effect stealing. He said he just wanted his card back. He would have to change the whole system which would be rather costly. I felt bad for the guy, he also got screwed by her in this situation. I then asked him if he was considering hiring her back (in the past he was). He responded NO way! He only had wanted his card back. Did hearing she was with another guy hurt, absolutely. I kept my strength thou and ended up walking home, which made me feel slightly better. Did it hurt knowing that she probably sold the ring so she could finance her day with this new guy, yes it did. If he isn't paying and she is selling my stuff (because she has no employment) in order to pay for this guys dates, then good luck to her. I feel like crap that my stuff is being used as a money source now. O well, someday it'll run out. She never used to have to steal like that with me, because I would pay for everything. I wish her the best, but even indirectly she knows how to hurt me lol. Karma is a B*tch thou.
Lemontang Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Dude I use this 'very' sparingly but she sounds like a real Scrut. Not only did she treat you like crap, use you as a door mat, baby sitter and an atm, she's also a low life petty criminal. Be very thankful you see her for what she is and that she's shown her true colours. Who ever that guy is, he's her problem now. Heck if you guys married imagine what she could have taken from you then "I'll have multigrain bread please for my ripped out ex's heart sandwich". I know I dodged a bullet, but you've gone the full Keanu Reeves Matrix style bullet dodge. I think any other girl would be an upgrade. But first things first. I said this in other persons thread about how 2010 started as the worst year of my life, only to have it end as the best. Time to make 2011 yours.
Chi townD Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Hell if I were you and found out that she pawned the ring and took this guy out. I would have told her Ex-boss. " Yes, her cell is 555-1234. She lives at 234 parkway Ave. On sundays, you can find her at the laundrymat between 9 and 10AM. Visit's her mother on Tues between 5 and 6PM. She's a Sagittarius, her favorite color is blue......If you need help, I can call 911 for ya!"
Author joshislost Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 Dude I use this 'very' sparingly but she sounds like a real Scrut. Not only did she treat you like crap, use you as a door mat, baby sitter and an atm, she's also a low life petty criminal. Be very thankful you see her for what she is and that she's shown her true colours. Who ever that guy is, he's her problem now. Heck if you guys married imagine what she could have taken from you then "I'll have multigrain bread please for my ripped out ex's heart sandwich". I know I dodged a bullet, but you've gone the full Keanu Reeves Matrix style bullet dodge. I think any other girl would be an upgrade. But first things first. I said this in other persons thread about how 2010 started as the worst year of my life, only to have it end as the best. Time to make 2011 yours. Lemontang, you are right, I agree and appreciate your insight. LOL is that bullet in slow motion lol. That's great that 2010 was superb for you, and I hope 2011 is even better for ya. I want to try and make 2011 the best year for ME and no one else. I put up with a lot, so it's all about this guy lol. Hell if I were you and found out that she pawned the ring and took this guy out. I would have told her Ex-boss. " Yes, her cell is 555-1234. She lives at 234 parkway Ave. On sundays, you can find her at the laundrymat between 9 and 10AM. Visit's her mother on Tues between 5 and 6PM. She's a Sagittarius, her favorite color is blue......If you need help, I can call 911 for ya!" Hahaha believe me it crossed my mind it really did, but didn't want to complicate things any more.
depplover_1980 Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 She is a right lowlife Josh and you should be pleased you got away from this lying cheating scumbag! Hopefully when you fully comprehend you were conned into thinking she was something else, you'll be able to move forward to bigger and better things fairly easily!!
Trimmer Posted February 18, 2011 Posted February 18, 2011 Hey, Josh - I wish all the best for you.. I agree that you dodged a major bullet here. One thought, as you decide whether and how to respond to her: you are clearly still affected by her, by your memories of what (you thought) you had, and by the loss of those hopes and the fantasy of what might have been. Perfectly understandable; I'm not saying otherwise... But I do suggest that while you are still raw and possibly vulnerable, at least for now, you stick with the "ignore her" option. Until you are strong enough that you really don't care what she thinks, and can possibly take some hits without getting more hurt, I think that sticking with the "ignore" option is likely to minimize your pain, and to give you the best chance to turn yourself around and start moving with confidence toward your future. Engaging her, while it sounds satisfying, is a potentially risky act. Indeed, that's why people say to make the hit and then erase all contact info and do not read any replies, etc. Because if you have any vulnerability, if she has any chance of getting through to you, you run the risk of knocking yourself backward. And if you still care what she thinks, if you do any of this to try to affect her, etc. if you leave even the tiniest crack through which she could stab you, then you run that risk. Not to say it wouldn't be satisfying to try to knock her back a bit, but you have to be absolutely, unwaveringly steady and strong yourself, in order for you to come out the other side undamaged. Just some food for thougt, in case you still have any inclination to engage her one last time. My other thought is: don't rise to her petty "you're a loser" taunts. That's all they are, but in fact, her actions just show her to be the loser. (Finally, it's a moot point, but I can't resist: if the pool hall/bar owner can't reprogram his system to simply deactivate the one missing card without great cost and upheaval, then either he doesn't undertand his system very well, or it's an extremely poorly designed system... )
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