kaygato Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I'm trying to figure out how I can fully come to terms with the fact that my ex really isn't the same guy that he used to be. I mean, he may still have feelings for me, but he no longer thinks I'm worth the effort. I don't think he thinks he's "in love" with me anymore. I mean, he is the same guy technically, but not in the way he acts towards me. How do you guys really stop remembering all the sweet things they did for us and realize they don't feel that way anymore? I'm still at the point where I'd like a second chance, but I know I need to get over him and stop idealizing our past relationship if that ever will happen. I'm honestly scared that when I feel over him enough to start dating again that I'll compare every guy I try and date to him. I think I have a problem...I want what I can't have. I create drama in my head that doesn't really exist. I used to have a crush on this guy in the past...and it was just sad. He wouldn't give me the time of day and yet I pined away for him for like 2 years. I really want to avoid doing this with my ex. Do you guys have any tricks for chucking your ex off the pedestal? I want to get to the point where I see my ex for what he really is: a decent guy but someone who it probably wouldn't work out with...
depplover_1980 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Thinking about them naked having a poo and it stinking takes them off that pedastal for me!
trippi1432 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 By remembering that he is just a man.....not a God. You don't have to stop remembering all the sweet things they did for you, you just have to find someone else who does those things better. I think you already answered your own question...."I want to get to the point where I see my ex for what he really is: a decent guy but someone who it probably wouldn't work out with..." I'm on the opposite side....my exH was horrible and still is...I see him for what he really is, I can only do better.
Author kaygato Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 I'm sure there is someone who could do those things better...but I guess I still have hope that we could work out. I think if he wanted to try we could. I know he's just a man. I know I just need to let go. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. There is nothing I can do to change his mind, really. I guess I need to remember there was a time before we got together that his love and approval didn't validate me. I need to unattach myself from the guilt, blame, and feelings of rejection that I have. It happened, and I just have to move on and not let him affect me anymore. Maybe he'll come back but by that time maybe I'll have moved on.
trippi1432 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I guess I need to remember there was a time before we got together that his love and approval didn't validate me. I need to unattach myself from the guilt, blame, and feelings of rejection that I have. Very good and very well said. Kudos!! :bunny:
2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Thinking about them naked having a poo and it stinking takes them off that pedastal for me! Some people get off on that lol! 2011
depplover_1980 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Some people get off on that lol! 2011 My only 2 rules are - no knifeplay and no scat. Gross!!
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