Mixed28 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I had my first relationship with a girl for 2 months starting in september when we started college. This was my dream girl she was SO attaractive and I loved her personality. But I was too clingy and the relationship lasted only 2 months. 2 months later she has a new boyfriend and it crushes me and I know she adores him. It has now been 3 months and I have yet to fully get over her. I started lifting weights (which I have gained muscle by the way) also started water polo and I am super popular even people tell me they wish they were as popular as me they don't know that I'm hurting like hell though. I miss her so much and I haved talked to other girls but I can't move into another relationship with such baggage. We only dated for 2 months and I'm still not over here and its been 3 months sence the break up also I have maintained no contact sence the day of the breakup we do say hi to each other in the halls but that's it. It hurts so bad she wasn't perfect but she was more than a keeper.
gator12 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Dude she was your first relationship, go out and date have fun. First loves are great and take some time to get over but you will. I doubt she was that, but first relationships still take time to get over. Just don't make the same mistakes in your next relationship. Just have fun enjoy college. You don't have to date somebody togo out on a date with them, and they will leave you feeling better. Try and see the bright side in things life only gets better. -Gator
Good Arms Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Hi Mixed28, I too had my own 2/2.5 month first relationship which started and ended around the same time as yours, although I'm guessing I'm much older. Don't worry about not being over it yet, 3 months really isn't long! I'm still raw about it, missing her, trying to make sense of things, easily getting tearful, getting stuck in depression etc. Just because our first relationships were short doesn't mean they meant less than longer relationships... "the first cut is the deepest" as they say. Losing my first love is the hardest thing I've gone through in my life. Even though they may not be perfect (I mean, I know deep down there were some aspects of my ex's personality I didn't like) it's hard to get over someone you shared so much with. You gave so much of yourself to them, and they gave so much of themselves to you. When you think of 3 months, that time does fly by when you're busy, so it's not surprising such intense feelings are still there... just have faith that in time they will fade. Those ridiculous equations like "it should take half the length of the relationship to get over her/him" are utter ********. I don't think I'm anywhere near ready for another relationship either, (although I'd love the quick fix of feeling wanted again) so don't worry that you feel that way. You sound like you've got a mature head feeling that you wouldn't want to take baggage into a new relationship, I assume as you're worried you'd hurt someone if you're not over your ex yet. That shows you're a considerate person. Just look after yourself and wait until you feel you're ready, or date but maybe communicate that you may not be ready for a serious relationship, for their sake (I have no experience with how to go about this). You're doing well with NC and keeping necessary contact to a minimum, I know every time I see my ex it hurts, as does every bit of information I hear about her. I have to see her around work every so often but our contact has been restricted to a quick smile (haven't been close enough to have to actually speak yet)... doing that hurts like hell, I'd rather not have to see her at all since she dumped me. No doubt having to see them isn't helping us heal. It's good you're exercising etc, you may not think it but it is probably helping you. You're doing everything right, it's still early days and remember you're not alone feeling this way.
Author Mixed28 Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 Thanks Good Arms My situation got more complicated recently because me and her new boyfriend have the same circle of male friends. I keep my distance from him although I don't know if he knows we dated. I don't ignore him but I wont become buddies with him atleast not anytime soon. I have been focusing on myself and my friends said I was ripped when we were at the gym. I will not be clingy again I asure anyone of that.
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