mtber75 Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I notice that the girls that I like as friends or possibly beyond have lots of guy friends who always want to hang out with them? Whats up with that? Are they girlfriend/marriage material? Are they just party girls? 1 or two is fine with me But many different dudes posting on their wall all the time on Facebook? Again a woman's prospective is advised:)
alexlakeman Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Just remember that they screwed, gave bj's, just made out, or only "hooked up" with at least a few of "those" "guy friends"..... So, when you meet them and shake their hands, you'll have to guess if he had a taste of her or not ... I am not too fond of women with lots of guy friends.. I, myself, have best friends with an ex g/f from years ago, the became f(ck buddies, and ultimately super friends.. She's gotten married since then, and we go out on double dates, party together , etc.. but the husband doesn't know we were an item at one point.. And I have two more female friends under the same scenario...so it's fairly common.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 ^ that is clearly an assumption. I know a lot of girls with more guy friends than girl friends and it's certainly not because they " slept together". There are women who don't get along with other women, myself included. Personally I used to be a tomboy and I had a affinity to strike up conversations with guys talking about sports than girls about barbie dolls.
creighton0123 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Have you figured out whether these guy friends are all straight or gay? Additionally, are some of them ex boyfriends? Either way, you shouldn't hold it against her.
Author mtber75 Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) ^ that is clearly an assumption. I know a lot of girls with more guy friends than girl friends and it's certainly not because they " slept together". There are women who don't get along with other women, myself included. Personally I used to be a tomboy and I had a affinity to strike up conversations with guys talking about sports than girls about barbie dolls. I heard about this too! Personality wise some woman like to talk/hang out with guys more than women? These are usually the more attractive women! So I assume your pretty hot xpaperxcutx:) From a guys prospective, they probably wants to someday be more than just friends? Don't you think? Edited February 12, 2011 by mtber75 typo
Hibou Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Haha, I have a ton of male friends (nearly all straight), and I would totally never sleep with them. I even shared a bed with one of them, once. It would just be incestuous to even consider it. I'm about 900% sure that they have no desire to sleep with me as well. Though, are we talking REAL friends, here? Like, are they the kind of friends to come to birthday parties and go on road trips? Or, acquaintances that post winky-faces and innuendo on her wall? I have a girl friend who has about a million of those guy "friends" because she is an underwear model, and I think they're all pretty creepy. Her boyfriend is a really secure dude, though, so it's all good. Regardless, I think that if I were feeling threatened by girls with male friends, I would feel inclined to try to figure out why.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I heard about this too! Personality wise some woman like to talk/hang out with guys more than women? These are usually the more attractive women! So I assume your pretty hot xpaperxcutx:) From a guys prospective, they probably wants to someday be more than just friends? Don't you think? Uh, no I have more dignity and respect for these friends of mine than to string them along into thinking I'll one day date them. Sure, the initial attraction and flirting might be there, but one does settle into the ' just friends' phase. It's like dating, if you don't make that first move the first time around, there shouldn't be an attempt at another go.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I am one of those girls that has lots of guy friends. Its not because I am loose or easy. The things that interest me and the things that I spend my time on are (I guess) more guy centric things. Plus I find that it is a lot easier for me to talk to males then females. And for the record, I have never done anything with these guy friends. The closest I came was with my best guy friend from high school. I was visiting from college and we were both single out showing cars. We spent a lot of time together, and his mom suggested that we would be really cute together. We were watching a movie in my car one day and started talking about it... us getting together. And we both admitted right there that we've just never felt that way about one another. Oddly enough we started dating other people not long after that. So are we good girlfriend/marriage material? Well I would like to think so, but perhaps my stbxH would tell you differently. The answer to that question depends on if you want a gf/wife that is "one of the guys" or if you want a real girly girl.
alexlakeman Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I guess I am a dog then, b/c I would sleep with any of my female friends given the chance and they know it.. I respect them, treat them with respect, etc.. but they know...
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I guess I am a dog then, b/c I would sleep with any of my female friends given the chance and they know it.. I respect them, treat them with respect, etc.. but they know... I have a friend like you, who pursues and pursues, and then pursues again. The only thing to do was to accept that he was a jackass and a slave to sex and to firmly decline us ever being intimate. Also attempts at breaking up the friendship helps too.
alexlakeman Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I have a friend like you, who pursues and pursues, and then pursues again. The only thing to do was to accept that he was a jackass and a slave to sex and to firmly decline us ever being intimate. Also attempts at breaking up the friendship helps too. I'm puzzled; how does "respect them" and "jackass" fit in the same sentence
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I'm puzzled; how does "respect them" and "jackass" fit in the same sentence Technically they're not because I posted each in different responses. But there's no denying that as much as I respect my guy friend, but he can be such a jackass ( now that's how you put them in the same sentence! ). Like you, I may tolerate some of your more over-the-top bias responses but it doesn't mean I should accept them.
collegeguy_24 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I've only ever had one GF who had a ton of guy friends. I didn't care at first, because I have a lot of female friends, its just human nature to have friends and even easier in the age of facebook. My problem came from the fact that of all her male friends in our area, she slept with most of them as FWBs. Most of them still lived in the same dorm area that she lived in when we were together. That made me uncomfortable, but I could deal, that changed when she said she hung out with them still, alone. That made me uneasy and I'm sure i'm not the only guy here who would say that.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) Generally I'll embrace a woman with a lot of male friends as a friend, I could never see them as some one I'd be romantically interested in, this is from personal experience. This is for a number of reasons: 1. Tendency to act like a guy 2. Tendency to be sexually loose like the average male 3. More than likely a good amount of her male "friends" want to have sex with her (if she's attractive) 4. More than likely that she knows they want to be sexually involved with her (if she's attractive) 5. More than likely that she's been sexually involved with several of them 6. Tendency to be an attention whore (see #4) For me personally, I want a woman who acts like a woman. There's a difference between acting like a man and understanding men. I don't want a woman who acts like a man. Why would I want to be romantically involved with...a man? This is why women like this never go further than the friend zone for me, unless they're attractive and wouldn't mind NSA sex. Edited February 12, 2011 by Ay Diesel T
lenny Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I too am one of those girls with lots of male friends. And yes, a few of them I had slept with. Now that I'm involved I really don't hang out with them much. I go for an occasional coffee with my guy friends as well as my girl friends but more often my man and I are either going out doing our own thing or doing things with couples.
Titania22 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I now have a growing number of male friends. I don't hang out with them all the time, like once a month. But I talk to some of them on skype regularly. It is an intellectual stimulation. About half my male friends are from my philosophy group. A good example of the draw of male friends, was last philosophy evening, when over dinner I was in the middle of a long table. On one side of me was more female dominated conversation, and the other side was 4 males. I was predominately listening to the male conversation, but frequently listening in to hear the topic the women were discussing. Literally the female conversation was male circumcision and intricately descibing (with hand acting as well) what is getting cut etc, then some sort of eye thing, then some other body parts discussion and then they moved onto clothes. At that point I whispered to my male friend, and 'that's why I sit with the guys'. As for guy friends wanting to 'make things happen', it happens even when I started going to a philosophy group. But I didn't give anyone hope, and those guys who were only interested in that, got the message and faded. In terms of the other guys, occasionally I will say something about receiving unwanted attention and that it is grounds for immediate unfriending, so none of them get any ideas. I am more than capable of letting a guy know if he is the exception. The simplest answer is, it depends on the girl, her intentions and her ability to hold her own boundaries.
phineas Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Generally I'll embrace a woman with a lot of male friends as a friend, I could never see them as some one I'd be romantically interested in, this is from personal experience. This is for a number of reasons: 1. Tendency to act like a guy 2. Tendency to be sexually loose like the average male 3. More than likely a good amount of her male "friends" want to have sex with her (if she's attractive) 4. More than likely that she knows they want to be sexually involved with her (if she's attractive) 5. More than likely that she's been sexually involved with several of them 6. Tendency to be an attention whore (see #4) For me personally, I want a woman who acts like a woman. There's a difference between acting like a man and understanding men. I don't want a woman who acts like a man. Why would I want to be romantically involved with...a man? This is why women like this never go further than the friend zone for me, unless they're attractive and wouldn't mind NSA sex. This is my experience as well. And why I couldn't have a serious relationship with a woman who surrounds herself with men who want to have sex with her & wants to hang out with them alone while with me. I'm sorry but going to dinner with a guy friend who wants to sleep with you is wrong. Telling me your doing it because he fixed your car for free makes it even more wrong in my book. (true story about a woman I dated with LOTS of guy friends)
nwsingleguy Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I think what you must really find out is if she has close female friends too. Be very leary of any woman that has almost all guy friends and very few female friends. In my experience this means that women are generally on to her and see past her good looks and do not want anything to do with her. These types of women tend to be the ones that will create a lot of negative drama in your life. Just speaking from my past dating experiences.
Cee Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Dude, you need to go back to the closet or to a gay board.. I have hit my limit with posts that are hate not discussion- with homophobic, sexist, and racist content. For here in on out, I'm reporting such posts to the moderator as a violation of the LS terms of service. As for the original topic, I think it's too hard to assess a person's friends until you meet them. Reading someone's FB wall isn't a good way of knowing. The men who post most on my wall are relatives or men I have never dated.
phineas Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I think what you must really find out is if she has close female friends too. Be very leary of any woman that has almost all guy friends and very few female friends. In my experience this means that women are generally on to her and see past her good looks and do not want anything to do with her. These types of women tend to be the ones that will create a lot of negative drama in your life. Just speaking from my past dating experiences. a-ha! every woman I dated with many guy friends have few or just 1 woman friend. They don't get along with women & tell me women are to catty ect. I don't usually find this out until later on though when we hit the point where I am introducing her to my friends.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Heh, I feel bad for dudes who get involved with said women though. Gotta stop bein a softy for a lay. Man up already! I just equate a woman with alot of male friends as a woman who likes to secure all of her bases, and all the dudes who fall for it are pretty desperate. Waiting around under the guise of a friend until she gives you a chance one day? Come onnn sonnnn.
NeoGen85 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Heh, I feel bad for dudes who get involved with said women though. Gotta stop bein a softy for a lay. Man up already! I just equate a woman with alot of male friends as a woman who likes to secure all of her bases, and all the dudes who fall for it are pretty desperate. Waiting around under the guise of a friend until she gives you a chance one day? Come onnn sonnnn. I was talking to my older sister and she gave me a very interesting point. There comes a time and an age where people are looking for someone to care and love for. They are not looking to make new friends of the opposite sex on purpose. At 25, I'd would agree with that to some degree. In the past year most of the female friends I made were my sister's close friends, girlfriends of my best buddies, or reconnecting with women I haven't spoken to in a while. If you're a lady who's attractive and can catch the attention of a man without having to use your physical appearance he WILL find you intriguing. The one thing you can do that would be horrible(especially if you're in a relationship with someone) is to not draw your boundaries which I think many men tend to think woman with guy friends don't do. Same applies to men with a lot of female friends. I had a girlfriend like that to some degree and it kind of bothered me because she was a naive person to begin with. Just recently I started falling for another girl who again has a lot of male friends. She would ask me what I'm doing late at night while I sleep to prepare for the next day. She'd come over and put herself in a situation where I could easily do something(alcohol anyone). She's a short hot woman I can talk to plus she has 38DD which stands out for her figure. Men are visual..and right now I'm drooling. But I don't react. She says that she's involved with a man that she's in love with. He's a clueless but nice guy. I put the friend card up permanently just because I heard karma can be a #@$%. Still, when I ask her to come out with my friends or even over to my own place I always suggest bringing her boyfriend. For some reason...he never shows up. No matter how serious she says they are I can't believe it. Women like that who can keep their options open, WILL!
Ay Diesel T Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I was talking to my older sister and she gave me a very interesting point. There comes a time and an age where people are looking for someone to care and love for. They are not looking to make new friends of the opposite sex on purpose. At 25, I'd would agree with that to some degree. In the past year most of the female friends I made were my sister's close friends, girlfriends of my best buddies, or reconnecting with women I haven't spoken to in a while. If you're a lady who's attractive and can catch the attention of a man without having to use your physical appearance he WILL find you intriguing. The one thing you can do that would be horrible(especially if you're in a relationship with someone) is to not draw your boundaries which I think many men tend to think woman with guy friends don't do. Same applies to men with a lot of female friends. I had a girlfriend like that to some degree and it kind of bothered me because she was a naive person to begin with. Just recently I started falling for another girl who again has a lot of male friends. She would ask me what I'm doing late at night while I sleep to prepare for the next day. She'd come over and put herself in a situation where I could easily do something(alcohol anyone). She's a short hot woman I can talk to plus she has 38DD which stands out for her figure. Men are visual..and right now I'm drooling. But I don't react. She says that she's involved with a man that she's in love with. He's a clueless but nice guy. I put the friend card up permanently just because I heard karma can be a #@$%. Still, when I ask her to come out with my friends or even over to my own place I always suggest bringing her boyfriend. For some reason...he never shows up. No matter how serious she says they are I can't believe it. Women like that who can keep their options open, WILL! Yup. It's the worst kind of woman. I know a couple like that, they have boyfriends but they basically place themselves in positions where I could easily have sex with her, and they would let me. Karma is a bitch, and if I went through with it I'd be just as trashy as her. Women like this, I just keep at a distance and on an acquaintance level - even if they are attractive. As for women who feed me that "I have alot of male friends cause of.." story, I laugh - they're predictable.
Author mtber75 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 I was talking to my older sister and she gave me a very interesting point. There comes a time and an age where people are looking for someone to care and love for. They are not looking to make new friends of the opposite sex on purpose. At 25, I'd would agree with that to some degree. In the past year most of the female friends I made were my sister's close friends, girlfriends of my best buddies, or reconnecting with women I haven't spoken to in a while. If you're a lady who's attractive and can catch the attention of a man without having to use your physical appearance he WILL find you intriguing. The one thing you can do that would be horrible(especially if you're in a relationship with someone) is to not draw your boundaries which I think many men tend to think woman with guy friends don't do. Same applies to men with a lot of female friends. I had a girlfriend like that to some degree and it kind of bothered me because she was a naive person to begin with. Just recently I started falling for another girl who again has a lot of male friends. She would ask me what I'm doing late at night while I sleep to prepare for the next day. She'd come over and put herself in a situation where I could easily do something(alcohol anyone). She's a short hot woman I can talk to plus she has 38DD which stands out for her figure. Men are visual..and right now I'm drooling. But I don't react. She says that she's involved with a man that she's in love with. He's a clueless but nice guy. I put the friend card up permanently just because I heard karma can be a #@$%. Still, when I ask her to come out with my friends or even over to my own place I always suggest bringing her boyfriend. For some reason...he never shows up. No matter how serious she says they are I can't believe it. Women like that who can keep their options open, WILL! Yeah, I think Women who have lots of male straight friends wants to keep their options open and love the attention from guys
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 1. Tendency to act like a guy 2. Tendency to be sexually loose like the average male 3. More than likely a good amount of her male "friends" want to have sex with her (if she's attractive) 4. More than likely that she knows they want to be sexually involved with her (if she's attractive) 5. More than likely that she's been sexually involved with several of them 6. Tendency to be an attention whore (see #4) For me personally, I want a woman who acts like a woman. There's a difference between acting like a man and understanding men. I don't want a woman who acts like a man. Why would I want to be romantically involved with...a man? This is why women like this never go further than the friend zone for me, unless they're attractive and wouldn't mind NSA sex. I don't think we need to list out the reasons why this is a huge issue. Women who have tons of guy friends always hanging around are bad in relationships. There are a million different variations... so each girl will try to think of herself as different and special... but for the most part it's all the same. Anyway... even if she is 100% above the board or just so naive it's stupid. Who wants to deal with that?
Recommended Posts