kaygato Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 3 Months and 2 weeks after ex and I broke up I'm finally starting no contact. I really should have done this 3 months ago, but I was in total denial. Oh well, you live and you learn, right? I won't make the same mistake next time. I'm way too emotional of a person to handle anything but NC after a breakup. So it's Day 1. I'm pretty angry at myself for losing all my dignity after my ex and I broke up. I'm also mad at him though...he could have gone no contact too. Instead he strung me along and i was too messed up in the head to realize how bad the situation already was. I should have walked away and let it be but instead I convinced him to come back twice...and he broke up with me again twice. I made myself look pathetic to him. So this is my final revenge. He rejected me...so I'm gone. Out of his life. I won't let him have this power over me anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Good for you for starting N/C . Am on like 22 days of my N/C and weve been broke up a while too. But we both kept contact I guess he thought he could help me heal from my pain. I hope thats he thought. This whole time hes been dating and telling me about it. Thats crazy huh? But I would listen just to be talking to him' I guess. I too lost alot of dignity there towards the end. But iam just like you. You want me gone! am GONE! And yea i thought that too, he could have stopped all contact too!! But the thing is I think they kept us on a string long enough to feel like they are sure of their decision. Well now mine has another new girl friend and thinks shes the ****. Ive dated a little too, but just dont think the man i was dating was "the one". So now I have to do the whole, i just wanta be friends crap,sucks!! Oh well live and learn. So yea, you hang in there. We can do this!! Keep posting it helps..theres a chat room on here too try it, those guys are great..........good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 Day 2 No Contact: Stop the Madness: Yeah, I feel like he sorta wanted to keep me on the backburner until he was sure he didn't want me anymore...it's really cruel though. I mean, rejection does funny things to people so I was in no way acting like I usually would have. So yeah, I probably seemed like a worse option than the other girls he was checking out. I don't think I'll be ready to date for a while, really. I want to sort out my issues that contibuted to the breakup first, and that might take me a little while. Good luck to you. Hopefully you'll find an even better guy. I'm feeling good today. Yesterday I couldn't let go of my anger at him which was what motivated me to start no contact. Today I don't feel angry anymore and I'm glad. I'm just gonna try distracting myself when I get too upset...and hanging out with friends. I feel real good even though it's only the second day, lol. I mean, there could be a lot of improvement but I'm starting to feel hopeful that I can get over this. I'm so glad I chose to do no contact. Well, I'm gonna go grab a late lunch and then work on my homework...I'm behind because of this stupid breakup ****tiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 Day 2 No Contact: OMG I just contacted my ex...what the hell is my problem? I asked him if we could talk tonite because I wanted to see how he was doing. Then when he didn't reply I said "please don't ignore me". Why am I so pathetic? The longest I could go was one day. Somebody please talk some sense into me. I'm supposed to be waiting for him to contact me so I can ignore him. Why do I insist upon this rejection? I need to just accept this. There is no game I can play that will get him back. Doing anything but no contact for the next few months will just have me going crazy. Ok...Well I guess I have to start all over. Back to Day 1. Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) Ok.DO OVER..But like my therapist would say"dont beat your self up about it, just learn from it" You are not pathetic or crazy(oh that was me). It took me awhile to go N/C but at first it was 3 days, then a week. Then he would email me..we did that crap for Months!! You have to find smthing else to do when you feeling weak. OK one of the things I do and still do, is go to the chat line on here. Right now its on page one. Its called On Line Chatting To Cope. Then go down to post #8 click on the chat site. REALLY am telling you go there instead of contacting him. Tell them "I feel like contacting my ex" and they will talk you through it, I promise. Next Thursday will be 30 days for me of no contact!! AM SO PROUD. But i had to learn too that NO good comes from still keeping contact. Hang in there.. Start again.. Good luck, We can do this... Edited February 13, 2011 by stopthemadness Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 Ok.DO OVER..But like my therapist would say"dont beat your self up about it, just learn from it" You are not pathetic or crazy(oh that was me). It took me awhile to go N/C but at first it was 3 days, then a week. Then he would email me..we did that crap for Months!! You have to find smthing else to do when you feeling weak. OK one of the things I do and still do, is go to the chat line on here. Right now its on page one. Its called On Line Chatting To Cope. Then go down to post #8 click on the chat site. REALLY am telling you go there instead of contacting him. Tell them "I feel like contacting my ex" and they will talk you through it, I promise. Next Thursday will be 30 days for me of no contact!! AM SO PROUD. But i had to learn too that NO good comes from still keeping contact. Hang in there.. Start again.. Good luck, We can do this... Thanks! He actually responded but I ignored it. I'll try that chatroom next time I'm feeling weak. I'll get through this one step at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
Denillad Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I did nc several times for 2 years since our break up, 2 months at the most. He strung me along and I'm feel so pathetic cause I'm the one who always wanted to get back together. I've changed my number n im moving, not just for him but for a new beginning. I'm still really hurt but I promise myself to get over this, no more crumbs for me. Nc would have been best from day one but it's not day 1, it's more like day 700 + n that my goal for the year to properly heal. If he can't chose u, u need to choose u. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 I did nc several times for 2 years since our break up, 2 months at the most. He strung me along and I'm feel so pathetic cause I'm the one who always wanted to get back together. I've changed my number n im moving, not just for him but for a new beginning. I'm still really hurt but I promise myself to get over this, no more crumbs for me. Nc would have been best from day one but it's not day 1, it's more like day 700 + n that my goal for the year to properly heal. If he can't chose u, u need to choose u. Good luck properly healing. I agree if they can't choose us, we need to choose ourselves. I'm definitely not clinging to the hope that he'll come back. I'm going to let him go. I just want both of us to be happy. It's just that right now I feel that we'd be happiest together. He doesn't agree. I'm putting myself first from now on, and if he doesn't change his mind I'm moving on to someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 Day 2 NC: I had a good day today. I'm finally starting to heal from the breakup, it seems. I'm not at 100% yet but I'm no longer at rock bottom. And the best part is...I didn't contact my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Good luck properly healing. I agree if they can't choose us, we need to choose ourselves. I'm definitely not clinging to the hope that he'll come back. I'm going to let him go. I just want both of us to be happy. It's just that right now I feel that we'd be happiest together. He doesn't agree. I'm putting myself first from now on, and if he doesn't change his mind I'm moving on to someone new. If he doesnt change his mind!!REALLY? No! you need to move on to heal your heart. This isnt about what he wants!! Its about what you want, need to feel better.Listen, you dont wanta be with smone who doesnt wanta be with you. Your better then that!! He is NOT the only fish in the sea.. Give your self some time before you say "next"....... Link to post Share on other sites
MissyLove Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 If he doesnt change his mind!!REALLY? No! you need to move on to heal your heart. This isnt about what he wants!! Its about what you want, need to feel better.Listen, you dont wanta be with smone who doesnt wanta be with you. Your better then that!! He is NOT the only fish in the sea.. Give your self some time before you say "next"....... I agree with stopthemadness, if you are putting yourself first, you shouldn't worry about what he wants and if he wants you. Believe me, try your best to stick to NC, after a few weeks or a month, you'll be good and wonder why you didn't start it sooner. You wont feel as much pain or have such a strong urge to contact him, maybe no urge at all. But yes, you will heal your heart and this will lead you on the path to find someone who wants to be with you 100% and they'll be chasing after you, not you to them! Goodluck and be strong! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 I agree with stopthemadness, if you are putting yourself first, you shouldn't worry about what he wants and if he wants you. Believe me, try your best to stick to NC, after a few weeks or a month, you'll be good and wonder why you didn't start it sooner. You wont feel as much pain or have such a strong urge to contact him, maybe no urge at all. But yes, you will heal your heart and this will lead you on the path to find someone who wants to be with you 100% and they'll be chasing after you, not you to them! Goodluck and be strong! I understand your point, and thank you. I need a balance of opinions. I'm not going to worry about whether my ex wants me back or not anymore. I haven't given the whole story of my breakup, but I will say I wasn't perfect and contributed to the breakup. I don't believe I deserve all the blame, but I do feel like I was more at fault. I'm doing no contact primarily to get myself to a better place and to heal, not to get him back. NC Day 3: It's Valentines day and thankfully nothing really has gotten to me at all. I've been doing a good job moving on and keeping my ex out of my thoughts today. He no longer is going to have power over my thoughts, because I won't let him. I haven't contacted him all day and I had an urge too but I went on the coping chatroom and talked about it to get rid of the urge. Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 hi, So glad to hear your doing good. Keep up the N/C it helps .The chat rooms awesome huh? A good place to vent........... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 The last two days were good for me, as well. I was able to resist the temptation easily. Part of that was because a family member just passed away and I've been busy and surrounded by family for the past two days...so tonite when I get back to college it'll be harder again. The way I'm convincing myself to stick to NC is by telling myself "you'll always come up with a new reason that seems legitimate to contact him, but in the end it's not worth it". This means I've successfully done 5 days of no contact! Yay! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 18, 2011 Author Share Posted February 18, 2011 This sucks...I just looked at my ex's facebook page...I have hime unfriended but not blocked, and he's already in a new relationship with a girl and we only broke up 3.5 weeks ago. I mean, more than anything I'm just feeling resentful, but I can't help feeling mad. I want to just think it's a rebound but who knows. That's the last time I'll be looking at his facebook page is all I can say. Link to post Share on other sites
fiat500 Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 (edited) My ex did the same to me. But he's in college. It's so easy to pick up a new girlfriend there it's not even funny. It's easy as spreading butter. But it's very difficult to make a college relationship last. Statistically speaking. College is an extension of high school. You are in a controlled environment and you have nothing else to do. So you DATE because there are people there with nothing better to do. Also you're still "discovering" who you are. College relationships are not serious. Take comfort in the fact that this new girl will not be with him for very long. And she will not be the woman he marries. Edited February 18, 2011 by fiat500 Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 ya so sorry your ex has a new person. But it was gona happen. My ex also has a new person in his life for about 6 weeks now. And I only have a "friend" in my life. I wonder how they are doing? Is he happy? Does he ever miss me?Is he waiting for me to contact him,like i ALWAYS did? But most of the time am ok..am getting that he didnt love me like i loved him it just took some time. In the mean time my 'friend" will do for now. Hang in there..it gets better..promise..I always tell my self, you dont want smone who dont want you..................Oh and STOP looking at his facebook!!REALLY so glad i dont facebook and all that.. Link to post Share on other sites
broken-and-lost Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 hey , really sorry to hear about your situation my ex girl dragged it out for 5 months and i didn't go nc only to find out see was dating really broke me further and i was really broken to start with, now nc only day 6 really hard but every here knows what your going through hang in there Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 18, 2011 Author Share Posted February 18, 2011 Thanks guys...I really thought I was at peace with the whole situation until this happened. I guess because it kills my hope of him changing his mind in the near future. Believe it or not, if his feelings changed and he wanted me back I would take him back. Well, not if he was currently in another relationship because that would be really douchey. But seeing that he was able to move on so quickly I have no choice but to move on myself. I have almost zero hope now so I'm just going to let him go. If a second chance presented itself and it felt right I would take it, but I know that statistically the chances are not in my favor. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 18, 2011 Author Share Posted February 18, 2011 It's been 6 days of no contact so far. This is really hard. I have zero hope now though so at least that makes it easier to move on... I'm hoping this gets easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 7 days of NC. I've done a whole week now. Link to post Share on other sites
broken-and-lost Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 hey keeping going hun, i'm just over a week now and it hurts like hell, its a long road but stay strong and have hope in yourself as a person Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 hi am on like day 32 or 33 of N/C. I wouldnt contact him now even if i had too. Thats how it gets after a while. Wouldnt want hear what he would have to say at this point, about his new person or what ever. Sometimes I still cry, but my therapist says thats ok let it out, get through it. youll be ok..well be ok.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaygato Posted February 20, 2011 Author Share Posted February 20, 2011 8 days of no contact now. After the recent revelation, I have absolutely no desire to contact him anymore. But I still think of him way more often than I'd like to. I sooooo need a distraction. I don't want to hate him, I don't want to feel indifferent, I just don't want to think about him so damn much anymore! Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 then dont!! dont think of him!! your in charge of your thoughts. have you seen Eat Love and Pray? check it out..parts of it rang so true for me..hang in there and remember this...He aint crying for you..Thats what my mom tells me when am sad(smile) nc nc nc nc Link to post Share on other sites
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