feelingtorn Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 A little context before asking such a big question. I broke up with my ex last July, but we kept in close contact. He moved to another state and also wanted to have kids eventually. I did not want to move just for him and had never had any desire for kids. Although we broke up, we were still in love, so we talked regularly and were intimate when he visited me last Oct and Dec. My ex is 7 years younger than I am. He was very insecuar when we met at first and often got very jealous over my former relationship. He wanted to spend all his free time with me and texted/emailed/phoned me daily. A month ago, I was offered to a 3-day free trial from Match. I signed up and met another man. It has been a month, but it is obvious that the new person is very different than my ex. He has lots of friends and two jobs. He is also studying GRE for graduate school and scheduled to take the exam next Sun. Due to his busy schedule, we hang only 2-3 times a week, which is fine by me because I also lead a very busy life. However, I had difficulty adjusting to little contact. He only texted or emailed me to set up our next day...meaning every 2-3 days. After I said something about it, he now contacts me daily in some form, but I feel like I am not his #1 priority. We had the exclusive talk and the whole I like you a lot conversation last Wed. I really like him and want to move on with my life. My ex is dating a new woman and recently told me that he loved her. It was a wake up call. I am an attractive woman and have been asked out by other men. I have said no because I am not attracted to any of them except this person whom I met on Match. I was really happy that we had the exclusive talk last Wed and was certain that we would spend this weekend, at least one day, together. We were originally going to have dinner with my close friend this Sat, but he had to cancel the plan due to family emergency. I texted him explaining the situation and asking if he still wanted to hang. He texted me back, "I hope he is ok." This morning, he texted me, but it said, "call me after your yoga class." I don't take yoga, so I replied, "am I supposed to take yoga?" He explained that he agreed to help his friend with her yogo studio after the sat class. When I saw him last wed, he made it sound he had to spend all his weekend studying, so I even felt guilty about asking to have dinner with him this Sat with my friend. Now, the dinner plan is off....should I presume we are not hanging out tomorrow night? I know Valentine is not until next Monday, but I bought a wallet (he needs a new one) and chocolate for him. I was looking forward to spending time with him. Because I did not want to beg any more, I texted him saying, "I hope you get lots of study done this weekend. Happy Friday." Instead of "I want to see you this weekend" he replied, "Happy friday to you too." Is he into me? If he is not, I do not want to see him anymore because I don't want to get my heart broken again.
Eddie Edirol Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 You can still feel him out for a while without wearing your heart on your sleeve. Just treat it like an FWB for a few more weeks until you know for sure if he's into you. He might not be into you, or he might be extremely busy. Actually, now that i think about it, he was on match, I assume he was looking for a relationship, maybe he isnt into you. Just stop texting him and wait for him to contact you. You will knwo for sure how bad he wants to hear from you. BTW, pushing him for a more exclusive relationship within a month is generally a turnoff, you need to slow down.
Author feelingtorn Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 update: I bought a nice leather wallet and chocolate and gave them last Sunday. I knew he had to study (his test is this sun), so I was happy he made time for me. I got dolled up and went to our meeting place. He got me ice cream and suggested we go to my place. We did you know what and he went home around 9 pm. I gave him my gift, but I felt a little awkward about giving him a card, so I hid it. Yesterday, he texted me, but about the weather. No mention about V day. I think it is safe to presume this man sees me as a FWB. What do you think? In the meantime, I have been asked out by three other men. I think I will play the field for a while until I meet the right one.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 update: I bought a nice leather wallet and chocolate and gave them last Sunday. I knew he had to study (his test is this sun), so I was happy he made time for me. I got dolled up and went to our meeting place. He got me ice cream and suggested we go to my place. We did you know what and he went home around 9 pm. I gave him my gift, but I felt a little awkward about giving him a card, so I hid it. Yesterday, he texted me, but about the weather. No mention about V day. I think it is safe to presume this man sees me as a FWB. What do you think? In the meantime, I have been asked out by three other men. I think I will play the field for a while until I meet the right one. The wallet and gifts are a little too much. Date the other three guys. You're not obligated to have to date only one.
waynebrady Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Due to his busy schedule, we hang only 2-3 times a week, which is fine by me because I also lead a very busy life. However, I had difficulty adjusting to little contact. He only texted or emailed me to set up our next day...meaning every 2-3 days. After I said something about it, he now contacts me daily in some form, but I feel like I am not his #1 priority. You obviously don't contact him as much as he contacts you, so I guess he is not your #1 priority either. Infact I am 100% certain that he prioritizes you alot more than you prioritize him For those who always say I am wrong in my posts. The OP further proves yet again how right I actually am, it's not in the female nature to initiate contact or put in effort into men. Among all animals it's the male who puts in all the effort and does all the work, so why should humans be any different? Espec considering so many women on here more or less proves my point.
Author feelingtorn Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 The wallet and gifts are a little too much. Date the other three guys. You're not obligated to have to date only one. Umm, were they? I dunno, I guess I am kinda generous with gifts. I like giving gifts, not to boys I am dating, but to pretty much everyone. I guess he could be one of those boys who don't celebrate vday. Yes, I am going to see other people starting this week. Why not, right.
Author feelingtorn Posted February 15, 2011 Author Posted February 15, 2011 You obviously don't contact him as much as he contacts you, so I guess he is not your #1 priority either. Infact I am 100% certain that he prioritizes you alot more than you prioritize him For those who always say I am wrong in my posts. The OP further proves yet again how right I actually am, it's not in the female nature to initiate contact or put in effort into men. Among all animals it's the male who puts in all the effort and does all the work, so why should humans be any different? Espec considering so many women on here more or less proves my point. Well, I was texting and emailing him everyday, but stopped because he rarely responded to my email. I did not want to be seen as desperate or needy.
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