Musa1977 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Yes, it can. But it depends on the guy. When talking to my boyfriend about it, he said that he's had sex with a girl on the first date, and he's had girls go for him soon after meeting him, and that it's just a major turn off. He (and many other guys) doesn't want to be with a girl who seems like they've been with every other guy they've gone out with. Yes, it is a double standard since he was willing to have sex with them too, and I still don't get that at all. I feel like if you are a willing participant, why are you complaining? But I think it's more about playing hard to get than anything else. Guys like the chase, and they like to feel like the "conquered" something when a girl that they've been seeing for a while finally sleeps with them. No guy feels like he really "conquered" a girl and got through to her if he finds her easy enough to sleep on the first (few) dates. But also, guys like girls who have respect for themselves, and if they think that you don't have enough respect to save that part of you, then they most likely will lose part of their respect that they once had for you. And might I suggest that you should watch "The Ugly Truth" since it about it as well. Plus it's just a cute/funny love story, and one of my favorite movies. True! Most men think this way.
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 That should tell you plenty about his attitudes to women and sex. You did nothing wrong, he sounds like an idiot. He is an idiot. A major one at that. I really think that being engaged twice in three years is weird. Of course, he did not break it off with them, they broke it off with him. Also, dating that many women around the two engagements is also strange. I should have taken that as a warning sign and ran and ran far.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Can having sex too soon with a man turn him off? How long should you wait before having sex? It doesn't matter. What matters is when YOU are turned on by having sex.
phineas Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 alas Elaina there are plenty of men who will have sex with you even if they're not attracted to you, they don't even have to like you! just the thought of having sex - you are not even part of the equation - sex is enough for them. Just sex is not enough. Mad sandwich making skills are plus also.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I get skeptical. But I won't write her off until I get to know her more. But it will stay in the back of my mind, how easy she was. Easy girls, from my experience, aren't that great for relationships. If I had more of a choice than I already do, it'd be a woman who wasn't so easy over an easy woman, every time. More importantly, easy women have this tendency to not be all there upstairs. A troubled past, dad wasn't around growing up, etc. etc..
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I think a guy would be more willing to commit to a relationship, if you held off on the sex. Now that's not a popular opinion, because guys (like me) would rather have sex early on. But the truth is that, the longer you wait, the more likely it is that he's a relationship oriented guy, instead of just a player. If you don't wait, and he cuts and runs after the sex, you just threw all that away on a jerk.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I think a guy would be more willing to commit to a relationship, if you held off on the sex. Now that's not a popular opinion, because guys (like me) would rather have sex early on. But the truth is that, the longer you wait, the more likely it is that he's a relationship oriented guy, instead of just a player. If you don't wait, and he cuts and runs after the sex, you just threw all that away on a jerk. Well let's not just focus on the guy here. If she puts out easy, the guy could easily think she's a whore, and still run away. :S It goes both ways. No man wants to be with a woman who's been with tons of other men sexually. At least no man that I know of. Then there's guys who don't mind cause it's not like they really have a choice in the kind of women they get, they're like a scavenger - they'll take what they can get. IME, better quality women don't put out easy. I'd take a fresh home cooked meal over greasy ass McDonald's any day. Easy isn't always the best choice.
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 Well let's not just focus on the guy here. If she puts out easy, the guy could easily think she's a whore, and still run away. :S It goes both ways. No man wants to be with a woman who's been with tons of other men sexually. At least no man that I know of. Then there's guys who don't mind cause it's not like they really have a choice in the kind of women they get, they're like a scavenger - they'll take what they can get. IME, better quality women don't put out easy. I'd take a fresh home cooked meal over greasy ass McDonald's any day. Easy isn't always the best choice. That is your prerogative Diesel. However, what do you consider easy? By waiting two weeks, two months, three months? What is the time limit in which women are considered easy?
SmileFace Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 If a guy sleeps with me too soon , I am cutting him off. Can imagine all the others he has done this with. NEXT!
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 If a guy sleeps with me too soon , I am cutting him off. Can imagine all the others he has done this with. NEXT! Good advice. I think that all of us women should do the same.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Too soon depends on how many dates and the time frame. If I've been on 1 date in 1 month = too soon. If I've been on 10 dates in 1 month = not too soon. Something like that.
elaina Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 alas Elaina there are plenty of men who will have sex with you even if they're not attracted to you, they don't even have to like you! just the thought of having sex - you are not even part of the equation - sex is enough for them. I think you're right. There are men who aren't like that too though.
spackle Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I think you're right. There are men who aren't like that too though. true - it's sorting out the wheat from the chaffe:cool:
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