East7 Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 IME Men do not enjoy that much the hard-to-get game. Mature men think that a grown up girl must know how to go for sex when she is comfortable, not just to play it I'm-hard-to-get. Personally a woman who doesn't feel like having sex after, lets say, 6 dates, will turn me off or I will think she is playing with me or that she is insecure.
phineas Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Every woman I meet has a few guys on the line. The one's online dateing are worse. If she isn't having sex with me, then she is probably having sex with someone else or wants to have sex with someone else. So If things don't progress to sex by the 4th or 5th date I ask them what deal is. If I don't get an answer that makes sense I bail.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Every woman I meet has a few guys on the line. The one's online dateing are worse. If she isn't having sex with me, then she is probably having sex with someone else or wants to have sex with someone else. So If things don't progress to sex by the 4th or 5th date I ask them what deal is. If I don't get an answer that makes sense I bail. I don't think dating should have a timetable. By stating a girl should give it up by the 4th and 5th date, you're expecting the girl to either put out or walk out. No girl owns you sex.
phineas Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I don't think dating should have a timetable. By stating a girl should give it up by the 4th and 5th date, you're expecting the girl to either put out or walk out. No girl owns you sex. That's fine with me. But, i'm pushing 40. I don't have time to waste feeding an attention whore. women that are attracted to me in my age group do not want to take things slow. Ever.
musemaj11 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Early sex doesnt guarantee that its gonna ruin the relationship, but it does reduce the chance of the relationship to grow further. This is just the fact. Anyone who says otherwise especially a man is lying.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 That's fine with me. But, i'm pushing 40. I don't have time to waste feeding an attention whore. women that are attracted to me in my age group do not want to take things slow. Ever. See I always forget how old you are. I'm in my early twenties so age does play a role. Maybe it's true what I heard, women in their late 30s and early 40s tend to want dates to progress faster ( due to their biological clock ticking away).
phineas Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Early sex doesnt guarantee that its gonna ruin the relationship, but it does reduce the chance of the relationship to grow further. This is just the fact. Anyone who says otherwise especially a man is lying. No it doesn't. If a relationship fails it's due to incompatibilities between people. not whether they had sex early or waited. Sex is something two people do for fun. It's an activity like bowling or bike riding. It's just done naked & not in public.
musemaj11 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 No it doesn't. If a relationship fails it's due to incompatibilities between people. not whether they had sex early or waited. Sex is something two people do for fun. It's an activity like bowling or bike riding. It's just done naked & not in public. If your daughter asked you whether she should have sex with a guy on the first date or wait for a while, what would you say honestly?
phineas Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 If your daughter asked you whether she should have sex with a guy on the first date or wait for a while, what would you say honestly? I don't have a daughter. I do have son though. I'd tell him to wear a rubber.
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 See I always forget how old you are. I'm in my early twenties so age does play a role. Maybe it's true what I heard, women in their late 30s and early 40s tend to want dates to progress faster ( due to their biological clock ticking away). Well, I am in my early, way early 40's and my biological clock is not running any more. I don't want any more kids. I think that most (not all) of us in our 40's know what we want and have a life experience that helps or hinders us. Ahh to be in my 20's again. Enjoy it!!
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 Early sex doesnt guarantee that its gonna ruin the relationship, but it does reduce the chance of the relationship to grow further. This is just the fact. Anyone who says otherwise especially a man is lying. Why does it reduce the chance to grow further? I had sex early with my ex husband and we were together for 14 years and married for over 10 years. The demise of our relationship was his infidelity not early sex. I would think other things like having children from previous marriages, being hurt, insecurities, alimony, child support, debt etc would weigh more than having sex early in a relationship.
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 That's fine with me. But, i'm pushing 40. I don't have time to waste feeding an attention whore. women that are attracted to me in my age group do not want to take things slow. Ever. Phineas, do you think that us older women in our age group do not want to take things slow because most of us have been in long lasting relationships and have been around the block in terms of sexual experience in a relationship?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Well, I am in my early, way early 40's and my biological clock is not running any more. I don't want any more kids. I think that most (not all) of us in our 40's know what we want and have a life experience that helps or hinders us. Ahh to be in my 20's again. Enjoy it!! Like Kim Cattrell's character on Sex and the City. She's done older, younger men and lesbian women.
musemaj11 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I don't have a daughter. I do have son though. I'd tell him to wear a rubber. Exactly, the same men who say that early sex is good wont recommend it to women in their own lives. Why does it reduce the chance to grow further? I had sex early with my ex husband and we were together for 14 years and married for over 10 years. The demise of our relationship was his infidelity not early sex. I would think other things like having children from previous marriages, being hurt, insecurities, alimony, child support, debt etc would weigh more than having sex early in a relationship. Because when you jump directly to the sex stage, you skip the bonding stage and there is a chance that this could create problems.
Author Roadlesstaken Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 Like Kim Cattrell's character on Sex and the City. She's done older, younger men and lesbian women. I want to be a cougar just like her when I grow up.
phineas Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Phineas, do you think that us older women in our age group do not want to take things slow because most of us have been in long lasting relationships and have been around the block in terms of sexual experience in a relationship? Women who are our age who tell me they want to take things slow act like i'm the only guy their seeing & expect me to not see other women. Except, they are seeing other men & being dishonest about it. Every time without fail these woman twisted the definitions of dateing, seeing, hanging out ect to make me believe I was the only guy in their life & they wanted to take their time getting to know me. But they were going out with other men & I found out even sleeping with someone else & when confronted would say "well, i'm single so I can do what I want" or some crap like that. So I refuse to take things slow & will not consider myself exclusive unless regular sex is on the table. Even then It doesn't guarantee she isn't going out with other guys but at least i'm getting something in return for giving her my time & energy. For those who want to have sex with me & show it by progressing physically during the dating process I still assume their seeing other men only i'm the better option. LOL!
phineas Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Exactly, the same men who say that early sex is good wont recommend it to women in their own lives. wow. way to twist what I said to bolster you opinion. I said I don't have a daughter. Therefore I cannot answer your question. That's like asking me what I would do if I won 100 million in the lottery. I can tell you what I think i'd do with the money but once it's in my hand that might just go out the window. I have a sister. I can care less if she puts out on the first date or makes the guy wait 2 months. She's an adult & can make her own decisions.
trinity1 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 For your own sake, you might want to wait to have sex. It's not that fun to realize you were just a ONS.
spackle Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I don't know if it makes a difference, but he and I are in our 40's with marriages and divorces between us. I have not been with any other man before him for 15 years. However, he had been married, divorced, engaged twice in three years and had dated approx 8 other women. So his incorrect assertion of my character is really a stretch. That should tell you plenty about his attitudes to women and sex. You did nothing wrong, he sounds like an idiot.
spackle Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 No it doesn't. If a relationship fails it's due to incompatibilities between people. not whether they had sex early or waited. Sex is something two people do for fun. It's an activity like bowling or bike riding. It's just done naked & not in public. I think it's slightly more complicated. I doubt anyone would list '****ing' in the hobbies section of their CV/resume.
kdark Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I think it's slightly more complicated. I doubt anyone would list '****ing' in the hobbies section of their CV/resume. You're right. But only because it is done naked and not in public, not because it is more complicated.
spackle Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 You're right. But only because it is done naked and not in public, not because it is more complicated. I'm not looking to exchange bodily fluids when I'm bowling..
Gypsy_Soul Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 You make yourself easier to get played by having sex too soon. You may be surprised to know that most men have very fragile egos. Even if he stays with you after giving him all your goods, the thoughts of how many other men you have done this with and if you do it often will be brewing inside him. Not only that, but when you have sex too soon, it skews everything from the very beginning. You're not really taking time to get to know the person or if the relationship will actually work. It's pretty backwards.
elaina Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) No it doesn't. If a relationship fails it's due to incompatibilities between people. not whether they had sex early or waited. Sex is something two people do for fun. It's an activity like bowling or bike riding. It's just done naked & not in public. Isn't differences in what sex means to a person and what one wants in a marriage partner an incompatibility? If a person doesn't mind that his future marriage partner (if he wants to get married someday) has sex for fun with whoever, then it's not big deal, right? But from what I'm seeing, many guys do care and don't want their future marriage partner to have sex just for fun with whoever. Also about sex, your definition is different than mine. I'm not saying your definition is wrong, but I do not define sex as an activity like bowling or bike riding lol! For me, sex is a mind-blowing experience that's best when I know the man loves me and I love him. It's making love. It's not just a feel good activity to be shared with just anybody. It's an incredibly special bonding experience that can be done as many times as the couple wants and is easily the most pleasurable physically. It's also the way babies come into this world. It's more than just something to do for fun. It's deeper than that, and that's why it's so hard for many people, especially women it seems, when they have sex and the man goes away. Edited February 12, 2011 by elaina
spackle Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 alas Elaina there are plenty of men who will have sex with you even if they're not attracted to you, they don't even have to like you! just the thought of having sex - you are not even part of the equation - sex is enough for them.
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