TheUnthoughtKnown Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 The main problem that plagues me when I'm dating is the fear of rejection. It tends to stop me from talking to women, and whenever I do get rejected, it only serves to make me more paranoid about it. Recently I met a girl in a club and took her back to my place. We had a good time, I really enjoyed this girl's company and she seemed very nice, and very strong minded and independent, which is what I'm drawn to in women. Anyways, we didn't go the full way or anything (another thing I respected her for) and the next day I took her home, she gave me her number and told me to text her. I did that night. She seemed a little distant in her texts. Kind of stand-offish. I was a little curious about it. Anyways, after 3 or 4 texts, she stopped responding altogether. I text her the following day asking how her day went. No reply. I'm furious. Mostly at myself coz I got quite upset at not getting a response. It wasn't really the girl, it was the rejection that hurt quite badly an put me in a pissed off mood for the last few days. I feel like I want to give up on dating altogether. I hate when this sort of thing happens, I always feel crushed and it sours the whole experience I had. I don't really know how to get by that feeling of disappointment, anger, and sadness when I get rejected...
NYCGirly Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Expectations lead to the greatest disappointments. Don't set your expectations so high (especially when you just met someone in a club no less) and the rejection will sting even less. Rejection sucks and we've all gone through it- both men and women. It's an unfortunate aspect of dating that you must go through in your quest to find the right person for you. I'm sure you'll reject a few people on your quest (if you haven't already in your past) so just keep that in mind when experiencing your own rejection. Not everyone has to like you just like you won't like everyone. While she chose a sucky way to reject you, it is what it is. Just pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move forward.
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 Expectations lead to the greatest disappointments. Don't set your expectations so high (especially when you just met someone in a club no less) and the rejection will sting even less. Rejection sucks and we've all gone through it- both men and women. It's an unfortunate aspect of dating that you must go through in your quest to find the right person for you. I'm sure you'll reject a few people on your quest (if you haven't already in your past) so just keep that in mind when experiencing your own rejection. Not everyone has to like you just like you won't like everyone. While she chose a sucky way to reject you, it is what it is. Just pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move forward. Yeah, you're right. I just don't know why rejection gets under my skin so much. Friends will brush off a rejection like that with a simple "eh, who cares? Probably a b*tch anyway" or "Oh well, there's always more nights" but me, I get really annoyed and get a little obsessed about it for a few days. I kind of just want to text her an say "hey, I know you rejected me but...can I have some explanation? Was it something I did? Maybe a little constructive criticism so I know where I'm going wrong?" It sounds like I'm needy, but I'm not. I have had relationships, and I don't struggle to meet women, but they're usually through mutual acquaintances, and it's never the sporadic, can't keep your hands off each feeling you get when there's an instant attraction in a place like a nightclub, where it's socially acceptable to kiss a girl you've just met a few minutes ago and have barely spoken to. I guess I'm one of those people, I have to know why, even if it doesn't seem like a big deal, I've been wondering if I did something wrong, and I'd like to know so I can avoid repeating that mistake, you know?
dispatch3d Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Yeah, you're right. I just don't know why rejection gets under my skin so much. Friends will brush off a rejection like that with a simple "eh, who cares? Probably a b*tch anyway" or "Oh well, there's always more nights" but me, I get really annoyed and get a little obsessed about it for a few days. I kind of just want to text her an say "hey, I know you rejected me but...can I have some explanation? Was it something I did? Maybe a little constructive criticism so I know where I'm going wrong?" It sounds like I'm needy, but I'm not. I have had relationships, and I don't struggle to meet women, but they're usually through mutual acquaintances, and it's never the sporadic, can't keep your hands off each feeling you get when there's an instant attraction in a place like a nightclub, where it's socially acceptable to kiss a girl you've just met a few minutes ago and have barely spoken to. I guess I'm one of those people, I have to know why, even if it doesn't seem like a big deal, I've been wondering if I did something wrong, and I'd like to know so I can avoid repeating that mistake, you know? My attitude is I'm human. So sure, I may have done "something wrong". She probably did "something wrong" a few times too. There's no need to beat yourself up over it. Just move on. Focusing on negative things like that isn't a good use of time. I think if you practice not dwelling on things, and specifically doing what you just did many times, then the sting of "rejection" isn't going to hurt at all. You'll just be indifferent to the fact she isn't responding to your texts well, is being cold, yadayada. You would just move on because it makes no difference to you. Honestly my advice is to do this sort of thing more. The more you do it, the less it hurts. I feel like I handle rejection better now, but only because I've been rejected more times.
Disillusioned Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I dealt with rejection by buying my Realdoll. Now things are the other way around... I don't even give women a chance to get to know me, let alone reject me. Of course, if my Realdoll rejects me, I'm in trouble.
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