darran Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Its been 4 mths now... only recently I've taken on board that I NEED to let the f&%k go BIG TIME. But I cant stop thinking about my ex. I've been dumped before... for reasons different than this tho. The problem is that as much as I write lists down of the pro's and con's of being with my ex and what her and my faults are I honestly end up with a list of ME having more faults during the relationship. She really did give me 110% for herself. She has faults of course and so does everyone! But why the hell can't I stop thinking about her? I keep asking myself the same question... do I really love her then I feel in my chest a deep aching pain, I find myself thinking about times I spent with her when we would have been pissing ourselves laughing and doing such daft playful things and then I start thinking about the stupid times I hurt her and I end up breaking down! I realise what I did and I know I hurt her too much. I know for sure I genuinely love her. I will be hard pressed to find another girl anytime soon who will show me the dedication and loyalty and LOVE that she showed me.... I know this! For the life of me I can't figure out why I hurt her... I just can't understand why I did that and it's tearing me apart!
cloudstoday Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Wow, this sounds so hard. Also sounds like you're really beating yourself up! I'm sorry I don't know the whole story of your relationship but, do you both still talk? You said you both want to let go and that you're figuring out that you truly do love her. I've so been there. Where the relationship, despite caring so so much for the other person, just doesn't work. And it hurts so much. It sounds like your really angry at yourself for not doing a better job at being in the relationship. But we con only be the people we are, and try our best to honor that. Maybe you were just two people who could no longer gel? Like I said, I really am not sure what happened. just wanted to say I hear how much pain you're in. I hope you can take care of yourself, and believe that you're not a horrible person.
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