regretfully_paranoid Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I am currently dating a man whom I love very much, and whom returns the same feelings. He treats me like a princess, and I love the time we spend together... most of the time. This summer, I became aware of a little "flirtation" of his. He tells me it was just a joke that went on too long, but to read messages from your boyfriend to another woman making the kind of sexual jokes and comments that I discovered was extremely hurtful. He very obviously felt great remorse, and immediately confronted the other woman saying that it couldn't go on. He cheated on two previous girlfriends, though insists he never has with me. And honestly, I believe him. I don't think he slept with anyone else while he was with me, however we have had some rocky patches with this woman and a few others (nothing this extreme). At the end of the day, I don't trust him. I hate that I don't trust him, but I don't. I am paranoid and jealous. It's contained most of the time, but sometimes I think of all the messages with the other woman and I feel like it just happened. I feel hurt, betrayed, angry... He didn't cheat physically, but I guess it's like he did emotionally, to me. I know this may not paint a very good picture of my boyfriend, but I would really like to move past this and continue on in this relationship with him. He is good to me and has made many efforts to make up for our past. I just can't seem to get past it. Will I ever feel secure in this relationship? Tips and advice welcome.
fun2bewith Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I am currently dating a man whom I love very much, and whom returns the same feelings. He treats me like a princess, and I love the time we spend together... most of the time. This summer, I became aware of a little "flirtation" of his. He tells me it was just a joke that went on too long, but to read messages from your boyfriend to another woman making the kind of sexual jokes and comments that I discovered was extremely hurtful. He very obviously felt great remorse, and immediately confronted the other woman saying that it couldn't go on. He cheated on two previous girlfriends, though insists he never has with me. And honestly, I believe him. I don't think he slept with anyone else while he was with me, however we have had some rocky patches with this woman and a few others (nothing this extreme). At the end of the day, I don't trust him. I hate that I don't trust him, but I don't. I am paranoid and jealous. It's contained most of the time, but sometimes I think of all the messages with the other woman and I feel like it just happened. I feel hurt, betrayed, angry... He didn't cheat physically, but I guess it's like he did emotionally, to me. I know this may not paint a very good picture of my boyfriend, but I would really like to move past this and continue on in this relationship with him. He is good to me and has made many efforts to make up for our past. I just can't seem to get past it. Will I ever feel secure in this relationship? Tips and advice welcome. I am so sorry that you have to experience this distrust in him... Please don't be blind to this type behaviour...IMO He is keeping his options open...he probably hasn't cheat on you yet, but if he has the chance and might get away with it, he might well do...he has the resume of a cheater... You need to sit down and talk and look for any signs of deception in his body or face don't trust to much of what he says, even if it sounds sweet... 1) Is he denying it excessively 2) Has he ever accused you of cheating 3) Is he behaving strange. He might also just see if he is still wanted by girls, but then again rather be safe....
beckyspiller Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Hiya honey I've been through EXACTLY the same thing as you. When I caught my boyfriend messaging someone else he immediately grovelled and was sorry for what he did, however. Sorry can only amount to some things, it can't make everything okay in the blink of an eye like we wish it all would. I feel maybe you're feeling this way because you haven't had time to come to terms with what's happened. It's probably put a strain on your relationship because the trust is gone, and the truth is honey, the only way of making it better is to either let him go or let it go. You know, it's easy to forgive and forget it's just swallowing your pride in order to do so. Man, sometimes i HATE my boyfriend for what he's put me through in the past. but I love him, and I probably always will. Just decide what YOU can do, maybe have a night and get it all out into the open. Don't make him promise anything cos they're not real but look into his eyes and sense if he means it. Good luck x
Recommended Posts