pandagirl Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I went on a date with a new guy tonight. And, I think I actually like him?? He's hilarious and smart. He even met one of my best friends tonight, and she told me: "He's awesome. Now THAT is the kind of guy you should be dating!" And even though it's great to meet someone I genuinely like and am interested in, there is a part of me that is still holding on to my ex, and I feel weirdly guilty and sad for liking this new guy. I suppose this is normal though. Because to move on, means to truly let go of him, which is hard, because I do love him still. Even weirder, my ex's ex-girlfriend was at the bar we were at. I only recognized her from her photos, but it was an odd position to be in. All I know is I'm really trying to build my own life no matter what. I can't live in the past, so why am I holding onto it?
Duckduckgoose Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I am glad for you! Where did you meet this new guy? Keep us posted on further dates and stuffs!
xpaperxcutx Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Perhaps you're afraid of of starting something new with someone. When we get hurt, it often leaves us a little traumatized. Perhaps seeing the ex- gf prompted you to remember a little something you thought you had let go.
Author pandagirl Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 i met him on a dating site! It is really weird that I saw my ex's ex-gf. I was always kind of jealous of her, and there she was in the flesh. Less than two weeks ago my ex got in contact with me. To be honest, I think both of us still have feelings for each other, but I am determined to move on. i also realize when you've been in love with someone, really in love, you don't stop loving them, but it transitions to a different space. I'm trying to navigate this area right now.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I seen a real cutie on a dating site that I would like to talk to... I am a-feered to do it though. Like really skeered. Do dating sites work?
Author pandagirl Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) He wants to see me tomorrow, and we emailed each other all day. I'm kind of excited. Not, because I like him (well, obviously that is part of the excitement), but because I'm not getting ahead of myself. I like someone. That is good. And that's all it has to be right now. On the other side, yes, I still think about my ex, but it's getting much easier dealing with those feelings, not because of the new guy, but because everything I've been doing for the past 5-6 months has been about living for myself and improving my life. Showing myself that I can date and enjoy it, was/is a huge step for me. Even if nothing happens with this guy or any other guy, it's nice to know that at the end of the day, I have myself and that really is enough for me. Edited February 12, 2011 by pandagirl
VertexSquared Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Good luck, pandagirl! Glad to hear things are turning up.
Kamille Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Intervention: Do you think you're ready to move on? Like truly ready? Than try to stop talking about your ex in the same breath as the one you mention this guy. It's ok that you have residue feeling, but you have to separate those feelings from whatever you're feeling for this new guy. Give new guy a fair chance! And keep us posted. I'm glad you like New Guy!
Author pandagirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Intervention: Do you think you're ready to move on? Like truly ready? Than try to stop talking about your ex in the same breath as the one you mention this guy. It's ok that you have residue feeling, but you have to separate those feelings from whatever you're feeling for this new guy. Give new guy a fair chance! And keep us posted. I'm glad you like New Guy! This new guy is pretty awesome, ane I am genuinely excited about him. I think part of my residual feelings for my ex have to do about being scared of getting hurt again. But the update is: we hung out yesterday for 8 hours! Only our second date, but it was just so comfortable and easy. He is extremely good-looking, but more than that, we have intellectual chemistry, which is super important to me. We "get" each other. We might meet up again tonight if there is time.
Author pandagirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 i'm glad you met someone nice pandagurl Well, thanks. But it's only been two dates... AND I still have to tell him about the whole herpes thing. So, there is still plenty of potential for this to all end in tears.
alphamale Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 AND I still have to tell him about the whole herpes thing. ahh, a lot of people have herpes, its no big deal
lattp Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 if you really like this guy, do not rush it. i had a gf that on the second day of going out with her, she said she loved me. but thats besides that point. do not rush it with this person take it slow and eventually, youll both have the same feelings and you two can start actually being bf and gf. good luck
Author pandagirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 ahh, a lot of people have herpes, its no big deal Thanks for your support, but you never know how people will react to this sort of information. I've only ever told four men I have it in the last 8 years that I've tested positive for it, and none of them had a problem with it, so I'm a little scared my luck is going to run out. He's a cool guy, so worst case scenario is he won't be OK with it, but be very nice and supportive about it. This never gets easy.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Like herpes herpes or cold sore herpes? Cause the former is a pretty big deal...or have I been living under a rock for...forever? Lol..
Author pandagirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 Like herpes herpes or cold sore herpes? Cause the former is a pretty big deal...or have I been living under a rock for...forever? Lol.. Yup the herpes everyone makes fun of. That's what I have. Got it from my second sexual partner at the age of 24. But, you can cut down transmission rate to 1%, less than pregnancy rates with perfect use of condoms.
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