Hello First time poster here...

[Jonny_Wodd]

Just want to get y'alls thoughts.

 

First things first- I really like a girl I work with. We hit it off really well when we first met and ended up going on a couple dates and had a good time together. When I dropped her off following the second date she told me she had a good time and that she would like to go out again. I didn't make any physical moves with her because I was still unsure of dating a coworker at the time (still am too) even though I knew I liked her. The next day she acted kind of cold and this seemed to carry on over the next few days, so I decided to be stand-up and just tell her I was cool just being friends- I wanted more, but couldn't handle the suspense of trying to figure out what was going wrong.

 

For about a week we pretty much avoided each other until we broke the tension and started talking again. Eventually she suggests we meet up and I agree. I text her the next night, she gets back to me hours after I texted her saying she decided to go to a movie with her sister. I was pissed, but pretended to not care and just blew her off for a few days. Then the following weekend I get a text from her telling me to come meet her and some friends at a bar, I was out of town and couldn't make it. The next week at work she started acting cold again, so I backed off, again.

 

Over the next 3-4 weeks, I pretty much stayed away from her. I notice she talks extra loud trying to draw attention to herself when I am around. She also acted sort of clumsy by running into things or tripping over her own feet when I walk by her. Every once in a while we would make eye contact and we'd each hold the gaze, but we didn't do much talking at all. A few times she appeared to blush when I looked at her.

 

Then i decided to break the silence and speak with her again. She told me I should come visit her office more and that I should stop by her place to see her new dog. I told her I would someday and then she gave me specific times she days I should stop by. I didn't stop by on the days she said she would be home because I was busy with other stuff.

 

A few days later I was walking by her office and heard her say "real mature" as I walked past. Not sure if it was because I was walking past without saying hi, because I didn't stop by her place, or maybe it wasn't even directed at me. I finished some other business I had to do and decided to go back and talk to her. Things seemed cool so I told her I would come over that night if she was going to be home. She said she had tentative plans, but didn't think she was going to follow through and that I should text her later. I texted her later and she never replied, so I got pissed again and decided to ignore her for good.

 

So I do a really good job ignoring her for about 2 months. We run into each other a couple times and she was like "hey stranger!" and "hey you!" each time with a real sweet soft voice... I played it cool each time by being polite and talking to her briefly, but did my best not to show any kind of interest.

One time she poked her head in my office and gave a really pretty smile, her face was flushed with color, then she took off without saying a word.

 

Well today I finally gave in a paid her a visit. She was super nice and sweet and told me I need to stop by more often. Her face wasn't really flushed with color but the area around her neck was clearly red. She made it clear she wanted me to come visit her more often and even told me a good day to stop by. It was at this point I realized something- this girl has never come to visit me at my office, ever, yet she said she wants me to come visit her more?

 

Damn, girls are confusing and in most cases I'd stay away if things were this complicated, but I really like this one and would maybe like to get her on another date and discuss potentially dating each other exclusively. I'm just hoping there is a wise woman or girl out there that can see through all of this and offer me their perspective.

[30Years]

Well, I'm not a woman, so I hope you don't mind if I add my two cents.

 

Men pursue women. That's the way it is. She wants you to show interest, but in each case you have mentioned, in which you should have reciprocated, you have backed down or out or for whatever reason, not been there.

 

As it stands, she wants you to visit more.

 

Do it. Visit more. Show you are interested and forget the fact that she hasn't come to visit you. Eventually, she will, but for now, she wants to know if you are truly interested.

 

Visit her more often. If she asks you to come over, be there. Find out about her dog. (And remember the dog's name.) Ask her how her day is going, and don't talk too much about yours. Music, food, games, movies, childhood, pet peeves...show interest in her!

[Lilmisus]

It's okay to start a romance at work, as long as it doesn't roll over on the work you do. I work with my boyfriend, as do many of my coworkers, and for the most part it works well for the most part. That being said, I believe that the reason that she acted so cold to you after the first date, is because she was expecting at least a little kiss, or even a hug (not sure if you even gave her that) just to show that you enjoyed spending time with her and wanted to continue it. She may have felt somewhat rejected when she saw you again, and acted cold because she thought you weren't interested. I don't think she wanted to just be friends with you, especially since she suggested going out again, so when you said you were fine with that, it probably hurt her a bit as a confirmation that yea, you didn't like her (even though you say you do).

 

I can't be sure, but you never know. Maybe she wanted to talk to you about things, and she felt anxious, so her sister may have suggested: "hey, he obviously wants to just be friends, so forget it, and let's go catch a movie." You never know what went on to make her go see that movie, but what you do know is that she still had interest enough and wanted to make it up to you by going out the following weekend. When you said you couldn't, once again, she probably thought it was some lame excuse and it probably hurt her confidence and started acting cold, to protect herself. But she obviously still wanted you to notice her and ask her out again (clumsy, talking loudly, blushing).

 

Anyway. She definitely has interest in you, and wants to go out with you again. The problem here is that she wants you to show that you want her. She wants you to go by her office, and work to get her. She's willing to do some of the work here too, but it doesn't seem like she wants to. Ask her out again, and if you like her so much, try to woo her. Don't worry that y'all work together, don't worry about the past few months (within reason), and just show her that you want to get to know her better and you're willing to prove it. If you give her what she really wants, then things wont be as complicated as they have been. She's trying to give you signals that show: "hey you! Want me!"

[Lilmisus]

Well, I'm not a woman, so I hope you don't mind if I add my two cents.

 

Men pursue women. That's the way it is. She wants you to show interest, but in each case you have mentioned, in which you should have reciprocated, you have backed down or out or for whatever reason, not been there.

 

As it stands, she wants you to visit more.

 

Do it. Visit more. Show you are interested and forget the fact that she hasn't come to visit you. Eventually, she will, but for now, she wants to know if you are truly interested.

 

Visit her more often. If she asks you to come over, be there. Find out about her dog. (And remember the dog's name.) Ask her how her day is going, and don't talk too much about yours. Music, food, games, movies, childhood, pet peeves...show interest in her!

 

 

Exactly! If all guys did this, us girls wouldn't be considered as confusing as we are.