singlelife Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 We know girls play hard to get sometimes. But I also know that some don't have any intention of getting with you. A female friend informed me that if a girl likes you she will make time to see you within 2 weeks. That doesn't mean you are going to have sex right away. But genereally women will make time one way or another. And yes there may be circumstances but there has to be a cutoff time or you could get drug on for months. So is 2-3 weeks long enough to say if she hasn't met with you then you need to move on.
kollindyr Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 We know girls play hard to get sometimes. But I also know that some don't have any intention of getting with you. A female friend informed me that if a girl likes you she will make time to see you within 2 weeks. That doesn't mean you are going to have sex right away. But genereally women will make time one way or another. And yes there may be circumstances but there has to be a cutoff time or you could get drug on for months. So is 2-3 weeks long enough to say if she hasn't met with you then you need to move on. If they keep constantly making excuses after a few weeks to go out with you, then it's most likely them saying no, nicely. Unless they have some real good reasons for not seeing you, then I'd move on. If they don't make time for you now, they won't make time for you later!
valdeetz1 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 I guess it depends on the situation. I recently came out of a LTR and a week after BU I met a guy at a bar. He tried to talk to me for about 2 weeks, then gave up. It wasn't that I wasnt interested- but I didnt want to rebound or have a fling- plus I was still in the depression phase. He was a nice guy, and if he tried to contact me now I would definitely make time for him. Just at the time he was trying I wasn't ready to be at that point. I was still mourning. If you can get some background on it, and you're really interested, you can try a few more times I guess. But I agree that the norm could be its a nice way of saying no.
carhill Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 No clue about timeframe to 'know' but I give one week and that's it. Women my age are big girls and know how to manage their time and prioritize. Generally, if a woman has met you in person, she knows before you even open your mouth. Everything else is just negotiation.
phineas Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 If they turn me down with "busy" And don't offer an alternative I wait a week then call again. If their "busy" again with no alternative offered I move on. They have my number.
Author singlelife Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 Sounds good. I have personally had women contact me months later after I had told them I am moving on. They had a way better attitude. Even though I wasn't interested anymore. Women are funny like that it seems. Why even follow up with you in the first place. But I agree the 2 week thing is a must. Eliminates all the weird chicks.
Author singlelife Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Update lol. Another female friend says the women that are truly interested feel it is unfair and it takes away from what they may be trying to do as far as the playing hard to get thing. But in the overall scope of things it is more than fair to put women on notice. After that's what they look for in men is leadership.
carhill Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 OP, think of the late and latent callbacks as hurling a coupon at you. Are you greedy enough to bite? Well, are you?
Author singlelife Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 OP, think of the late and latent callbacks as hurling a coupon at you. Are you greedy enough to bite? Well, are you? ok you have to explain this lol. i don't get it.
carhill Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Big potential profit margin so it costs essentially nothing to hurl a coupon at a customer who has been previously marked as interested. Little investment, big return. Ego feeders are expert at this. I'm fortunate. I've only had a few coupons hurled at me in my lifetime. Life provides small rewards
Author singlelife Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Big potential profit margin so it costs essentially nothing to hurl a coupon at a customer who has been previously marked as interested. Little investment, big return. Ego feeders are expert at this. I'm fortunate. I've only had a few coupons hurled at me in my lifetime. Life provides small rewards ok pleaswe relate to the topic.
carhill Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Opt out of their contact list once your business offer has been declined. Adopt a different perspective when a woman's number illuminates your phone. I find a busy life and a turned off phone obviates much of this. Call who you want when you want. If they're interested, there ya go. If not, next.
USMCHokie Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 If they turn me down with "busy" And don't offer an alternative I wait a week then call again. If their "busy" again with no alternative offered I move on. They have my number. This. But I don't call again after a week. I leave it on them the first time to suggest a time that works for them. Fire and forget.
Author singlelife Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 This. But I don't call again after a week. I leave it on them the first time to suggest a time that works for them. Fire and forget. exactly. there's lots of girls. we just need the criteria so we can move on. because after we move on we don't be thinking about the old girls anymore.
TerminalMan Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Feel free to disagree with my post, cuz I'm an old fart. It's fine to wait a day or two or three before calling a prospective date whose number you recently got. Anything over 7 days is pushing it. And once you do make contact in person twice or more (actual lunches, dates, etc.) and decide you like each other a bit, all communication "games" should immediately stop. Stand me up once... or go into mysterious "hide" mode.... you may get a second chance, if you have the decency to call and let me know what's up. People/kids do get sick, etc. Some people are initially shy. That's fine. If I have to break a date, I will call (preferably) or text (if necessary) and let you know as soon as humanly possible that I can't make it, and why. Stand me up twice.... you are a player and/or are not interested (no problemo). There are 86,400 seconds in a day. You can take 30 of them to make contact. Especially when you find time to visit Facebook six times a day. And if you tell me, in person, that you will call me on [insert day of week] when you get off work so we can get together... and I don't hear from you till the next week... and your flimsy excuse is "sry i was busy i got a lot going on".... Well, that means you are not that into me (no problemo), you don't keep promises, and you have no respect for my time. Not doing what you say, not giving a reason, and/or not being apologetic about it... not much different than a lie, in my book. Actions, people. Say what you mean, mean what you say. If you are not interested, be honest enough to say so. A polite call (not text) saying "You were fun to hang out with, but I'm going to pass for now" is quite sufficient. As is "I'm kind of keeping my options open, no hard feelings." The TRUTH is always the best course of action. Am I the only guy left who keeps his word and actually understands the art of communication, manners, and basic respect for other people? No need to answer that. If he/she likes you, they will keep their word. They will call in a reasonable amount of time and/or when they say they will. If they fail once (some guys/girls are actually shy, you know), maybe give them a second chance. There are no third chances. Why should you take treatment from a SO (or potential SO) that you wouldn't accept from a friend? Life's too short for this "playing hard to get" B.S. Modern communication is easy. You have lots of options. People, don't play stupid games.
East7 Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Big potential profit margin so it costs essentially nothing to hurl a coupon at a customer who has been previously marked as interested. Little investment, big return. Ego feeders are expert at this. I'm fortunate. I've only had a few coupons hurled at me in my lifetime. Life provides small rewards this cracks me up. You are amazing my friend ! It also reminds me some of MW patterns. They will often pine for ex lovers : little investment, big Ego feed To OP : Your friend is right 1-2 weeks is enough to tell if a woman is interested in you. She'll be never too busy to date you, unless she is at the hospital or got run over by a truck A woman after her mid 20s is a big girl, she will not play games. If she is interested she'll do anything to date you. Actions always speak better than words.
Cee Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I don't understand this hard to get thing. I think these women are truly not interested. Or as Carhill points out, they are only interested in having you remain interested in them. It's an ego thing for them. There is a huge pool of women who are simply shy or afraid of initiating a romantic situation. I think these are the women, who will accept a date within a week.
Author singlelife Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Cool. 2 weeks it is Somebody also told me that they deal with young girls like 18-25 and that they are the worst at the 2 weeks thing. I told him that he should just move on then. You're messing with the wrong girls.
Roadlesstaken Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Am I the only guy left who keeps his word and actually understands the art of communication, manners, and basic respect for other people? Yes, you seem to be the only man who keeps his word because all the yahoo's I have come across lately are flakes. Are you single?
TerminalMan Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Yes, Roadlesstaken, lots of flakes & poofers & yahoos out there! I hope someone out there has enough sense to treat you right, and soon. And yes, I'm single. I try to stay that way, but occasionally I fall prey to pheremones and/or intelligent women who have their act together. It's not always bad, thank goodness. Perhaps we need more "success" stories in these forums to keep us motivated ! Signed, --Recently run over by a very cute but soulless truck.
tiewebb Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Arrgghhh, "the flake", boy are they frustrating creatures! Look, lots of valid points on here. I definitely agree with the "if they defer and give you an alternative option" then its a great sign. Say for instance with a girl I went on a date with last weekend. We both have seriously busy schedules. I gave her a couple of options to try and catch up the week just gone, but she was busy those days. HOWEVER, she said it would have to be next week if that was ok with me! So I take that as a good sign. Unfortunately I am now in the position where I'm going to be getting hammered at work all week and she is away next weekend, so will be interesting to see whether she is happy to reschedule the following week. Given she instigated the first kiss on our date, I'm guessing my chances are good! And I think its two strikes, "you're out" when it comes to an invitation for a date. I think the interesting question is, at what stage would you expect the woman to start suggesting follow up dates out of the blue? Friend of mine went on a first date on Thursday and the girl he saw openly indicated she wanted to catch up on the next day, but he was busy. So they're catching up on the weekend. Now that is quite quick, but to be honest, I think its quite refreshing to see someone who is willing to invest time at the start to see if there is a connection, rather than playing all these games and only seeing each other once a week. How are you meant to get to know someone that way?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Arrgghhh, "the flake", boy are they frustrating creatures! Look, lots of valid points on here. I definitely agree with the "if they defer and give you an alternative option" then its a great sign. Say for instance with a girl I went on a date with last weekend. We both have seriously busy schedules. I gave her a couple of options to try and catch up the week just gone, but she was busy those days. HOWEVER, she said it would have to be next week if that was ok with me! So I take that as a good sign. Unfortunately I am now in the position where I'm going to be getting hammered at work all week and she is away next weekend, so will be interesting to see whether she is happy to reschedule the following week. Given she instigated the first kiss on our date, I'm guessing my chances are good! And I think its two strikes, "you're out" when it comes to an invitation for a date. I think the interesting question is, at what stage would you expect the woman to start suggesting follow up dates out of the blue? Friend of mine went on a first date on Thursday and the girl he saw openly indicated she wanted to catch up on the next day, but he was busy. So they're catching up on the weekend. Now that is quite quick, but to be honest, I think its quite refreshing to see someone who is willing to invest time at the start to see if there is a connection, rather than playing all these games and only seeing each other once a week. How are you meant to get to know someone that way? Actually, I find the once- a- week date quite convenient. Weekends are often associated with days off and partying, and as it is, weekdays are usually the 9-5 workhours to pay your rent. If you can stick with the once a week date, that's all that counts. Besides, dating doesn't mean you're attached at the hip 24/7- it's important to maintain contact but also give each other space to develop a more meaningful relationship. It's true what they say, being apart makes the heart grow fonder. Especially with the initial attraction and honeymoon phase.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Feel free to disagree with my post, cuz I'm an old fart. It's fine to wait a day or two or three before calling a prospective date whose number you recently got. Anything over 7 days is pushing it. And once you do make contact in person twice or more (actual lunches, dates, etc.) and decide you like each other a bit, all communication "games" should immediately stop. Stand me up once... or go into mysterious "hide" mode.... you may get a second chance, if you have the decency to call and let me know what's up. People/kids do get sick, etc. Some people are initially shy. That's fine. If I have to break a date, I will call (preferably) or text (if necessary) and let you know as soon as humanly possible that I can't make it, and why. Stand me up twice.... you are a player and/or are not interested (no problemo). There are 86,400 seconds in a day. You can take 30 of them to make contact. Especially when you find time to visit Facebook six times a day. And if you tell me, in person, that you will call me on [insert day of week] when you get off work so we can get together... and I don't hear from you till the next week... and your flimsy excuse is "sry i was busy i got a lot going on".... Well, that means you are not that into me (no problemo), you don't keep promises, and you have no respect for my time. Not doing what you say, not giving a reason, and/or not being apologetic about it... not much different than a lie, in my book. Actions, people. Say what you mean, mean what you say. If you are not interested, be honest enough to say so. A polite call (not text) saying "You were fun to hang out with, but I'm going to pass for now" is quite sufficient. As is "I'm kind of keeping my options open, no hard feelings." The TRUTH is always the best course of action. Am I the only guy left who keeps his word and actually understands the art of communication, manners, and basic respect for other people? No need to answer that. If he/she likes you, they will keep their word. They will call in a reasonable amount of time and/or when they say they will. If they fail once (some guys/girls are actually shy, you know), maybe give them a second chance. There are no third chances. Why should you take treatment from a SO (or potential SO) that you wouldn't accept from a friend? Life's too short for this "playing hard to get" B.S. Modern communication is easy. You have lots of options. People, don't play stupid games. I absolutely love this post, especially the bolded. Youow would think with the advancement in technology, people would be closer, not more distant. I find that, no matter how many friends I have, or how many contacts I have, I rarely, if ever, talk to them consistently. Even extremely close friends only get the once a year birthday well wishes and that's it.
Author singlelife Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 Ok so one of the girls I liked I erased her from fb and erased her cell and haven't talked to her in about two weeks. We just could never get together. I really liked her but moved on. So I had a girl come into town for the wkend for Valentines Day and she got a hotel fo us. We went out to eat etc. Well while at dinner I got a call and text but I didn't hear either because of the noise. When we got back to the hotel my date was on her cell for a bit with a gf so I just looked at my cell. I went into the hall and checked it. I didn't know who it was because I erased her # She texted if I had a party or knew if anybody did. I texted her back who is this. Then I called and it just rang. I finally went through my call log and figured out it was her. So I figured she or a friend saw me out and tryed to block me with a call. I could be wrong but very childish if you don't want to date somebody. One thing is for sure though. Once you cut girls off they either move on or they come out of the woodworks to try and get you. Not sure what she was doing but I'm just saying.
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