Ross PK Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Since I've never had a girlfriend before. For me, it really seems like if I was to get a girlfriend, it would feel amazing! But the realisation has just come to me, that the fact the girl will have had boyfriends and relationships before, then maybe to her it wouldn't feel like that big of a deal. Which is quite depressing, because I'd really like her to feel just as good, or at least nearly as good being with me, as I would feel being with her. So my question is, how does it feel when you get a girlfriend/boyfriend? Does it still feel just as amazing as it felt when you first started getting girlfriends/boyfriends when you were much younger? Or does it not feel like much of a big deal now?
Cee Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 That's a tough question. I think it really depends on the people involved and the circumstances of the coupling. I wasn't ready when I had my first boyfriend so I wasn't that excited about it. Mostly I felt conflicted. Also, it's not like automatically you are boyfriend/girlfriend so there can be uncertainty and anxiety about it. It's a process to become a couple, which isn't always clear cut. That's why people discuss things like "the talk." I personally like it better when things are more established in the middle of a relationship.
Knittress Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Asking how someone views later relationships vs. earlier ones is so individual it's almost pointless. For me personally, I was more swooningly romantic before getting my heart slapped around a few times, but all of that has actually led to a larger appreciation of when I am actually in a good relationship. I no longer give a rats ass about flowers or love notes written on parchment, because that sort of thing is cheap. It isn't real. A man who'll turn off the championship game to rush over and pick me up when my car breaks down - THAT matters. I think you're over-idealizing the whole thing. Reality is richer than fantasy, but it isn't an easy revelation. Try not to get too Disney, eh? 1
Author Ross PK Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 I think you're over-idealizing the whole thing. Reality is richer than fantasy, but it isn't an easy revelation. Try not to get too Disney, eh? I'm not sure what you mean. Are you saying that if I were to get a girlfriend, I wouldn't think it feels amazing?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Supposedly you become half of a whole. I like to add on to that fact that you were whole to begin with yet having another person with you makes you wholer than whole. Like a large big chocolate heart being added with an extra coat of sweet milk chocolate ganache.
bmonique131 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Get the man of your dreams.. Find out what it is men want.. http://www.getaguytofallinlove.com
Author Ross PK Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 Get the man of your dreams.. Find out what it is men want.. http://www.getaguytofallinlove.com No thanks.
Shocking Pink Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Every time, it feels amazing! And scary! And sometimes like you might have a fever! lol It gets a little easier to control, is all. Like, you can still handle going to work and taking care of business when you're older, but you still space out thinking about them all the time. And breakups get easier, bc you know you survived it already and you can do it again.
Jazzari Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 I think it depends on what ride in the carnival you happen to be on: The beginning is a rollercoaster. It's scary and painful and wonderful all at the same time. The first peak when the anticipation is at its height is amazing. I usually associate that with the first kiss. Then the ride truly starts and I'm never sure whether I'm having the time of my life or if I'm going to crash and burn. The second ride is bumper cars. Here you have a few power plays and fights for dominance. Its still a good time, but be prepared for a few bruises. Then you move to the Tunnel of Love - my personal favorite. You are comfortable with each other and the ride is nice and smooth. You don't have that adrenaline rush but the love more than makes up for it. For me, having a boyfriend now is no different feeling than when I was much younger.
Knittress Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 (edited) I'm not sure what you mean. Are you saying that if I were to get a girlfriend, I wouldn't think it feels amazing? Sure it's amazing. Falling in love is like being high. And that's fun and all, but if you don't put in the boring WORK of relating to another person it's not based on reality and is going to wear off shortly. And that sucks and is painful. I'm telling you not to get too Disney, because being in a relationship and even being madly in love with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with doesn't really change anything about YOU. It won't make you happier long term, as weird as that seems. It'll feel amazing, but then it'll wear off and you'll be stuck wondering what happened. That's the problem with over-idealizing relationships. So, yeah. Don't be threatened by an idea of someone's past. Relationships aren't magical, and someone's past isn't some fairytale you have to compete against. Edited February 10, 2011 by Knittress 1
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