Was I wrong?

[MissTiff1124]

I'm surprised that he denied seeing other people when he had really been seeing other people.

 

I don't know whether I asked you before, but I am asking you now, what do you want? If you don't want to settle for a guy who wants other options, please don't bother with him anymore. The way he's going at things, he'll drag you into an emotional whirlwind when he wants and he's still the only one enjoying things.

 

Well he doesn't know that I saw it. I haven't even talked to him since Sunday so I don't know what is really going on.

 

I just want someone that is happy with JUST me. I mean as many times as we've gone out, and even before when we chatted on the phone and text and everything before we even met.. I was pretty sure that things were going to progress with him. I don't know, I don't want to end things with him, because I see alot of potential, but I don't want to waste my time either, if he just wants to play the field. Ugh.

[Jazzari]

I appreciate that, and I do know that alot of what has happened reflects alot on my being single and looking for true love again, which maybe I am not ready for just yet.

 

But.. I have to update, and get a few more opinions. So the "guy" contacts me after we haven't talked for a few weeks. Says he wanted to meet up and get a drink and talk. I agree. Seeing him again, was really nice, and I remembered why I liked him as much as I did. We talked, laughed about our silly fight, and all was fine it seemed. I explained to him that I shouldn't have been controlling, and that he has the right to date whoever he wants, since him and I aren't exclusive. He informed me he was not dating, and that once the move was settled and he got everything worked out with his job, he would have more time for me. I was thrilled, and agreed that when that time comes we will figure things out.

 

Fast forward.. in the time we didn't talk, I was back on the dating site, just seeing who was out there. After our talk I went back on, getting ready to delete when who do I come across on the site, yep, him. Stating he was "needing a valentine." I couldn't help but feel a little hurt, I thought things were going good again, and he was ready to be exclusive. The worst part, we were just together the day before Valentine's.. go figure.

 

Is this guy playing me for a fool? Should I just give up and move on? Cause the more I see him, the more I like him..and I feel like Im just setting myself up for heartache.

I don't understand the underlined part. Are you two exclusive or not? Just because he said he isn't dating doesn't mean he isn't LOOKING.

 

If you aren't exclusive, I think its premature for you to take your profile down.

 

As for his profile - when was he last online? He may have posted that on his profile before you both met up again.

 

I think you need to clarify where you both stand, including whether or not you should both delete your profiles.

[MissTiff1124]

I don't understand the underlined part. Are you two exclusive or not? Just because he said he isn't dating doesn't mean he isn't LOOKING.

 

If you aren't exclusive, I think its premature for you to take your profile down.

 

As for his profile - when was he last online? He may have posted that on his profile before you both met up again.

 

I think you need to clarify where you both stand, including whether or not you should both delete your profiles.

 

I didn't underline that part :| As far as our conversation, he said he WASN'T dating or looking for anything else, and that once he got settled in with his job and work, we would take things to the next level. So that night is when we clarifyed that him and I would see each other, no one else.

 

He was online when I was, on Sunday. So that is where I stand apparently. So I'm thinking I just need to cut my losses.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Hi everyone. New to this site and really need some advice. I will try to make this as short as I can.

 

I have decided a year after my divorce, that I was ready to date again, so I gave the internet dating sites a shot. As I was browsing on Match.com I found someone that took my breath away. Handsome, charming, romantic, sophisticated (or so his profile stated) and I messaged him right away with a wink and a hello.

 

You can imagine my excitement when I heard back! He told me I was beautiful and that he would like to get to know me better. After endless emails, and texts and finally talking on the phone for a month we decided to meet. Everything I was expecting he was. I truly felt like this guy could be the one! And after being so hurt in my marriage, I really wanted a good guy.

 

We dated for a couple of weeks until I started noticing he was still on these dating sites, and even found a testimonial of one woman saying what a great time she had with him 2 nights before we spent the weekend together! I was livid, and I let him know that it upset me, and that if he wanted to keep dating to let me go. He proceeded to call mecontrolling and psychotic (erm?) and said that he couldn't deal with that. So, long story short, we called it off.

 

I miss him though, and feel like maybe I was in the wrong. Was I too controlling or acting like a crazy person? The chemistry between us was amazing, and I don't want to ruin something that has potential to be great. Please I really need some advice here. Thank you for reading.

 

 

Without reading any subsequent posts/pages on this thread, AND taking you at your word, I think that the difference between the two of you is much like that which separates prospective job applicants as follows:

 

SOME like to canvas the entire area/field with resumes, just imagining that some job offers will come back to them by sheer numbers alone.

 

OTHERS tend to scour high and low for just the job they would really like, and not until that application is turned away/rejected do they really make much effort at sending out others.

 

If you "dated for a couple of weeks", it was prooooooooooooobably too soon to become upset that he was still on various dating sites. While you are far more worthy than a mere resume/job application, it is still reasonable that someone dating "for a couple of weeks" should keep his options open.

 

I can appreciate that you were upset to learn this about him, yet I won't fault either of you for what so far could be just a different approach to ending singledom.