Crazy about my girlfriend, but she's distancing herself...

[Gary335]

So I met this girl at work back in October and we hit it off right away. Within a couple days I went ahead and asked her out and she dais yes. Things were great. We seemed perfect for each other. She had some baggage, so to speak, 3 kids and an ex that wasn't quite fully out of her life, but I stuck beside her, thinking the mature thing to do if I truly liked her was to accept her and everything that comes with her. She's 21 and I'm 25, by the way. Things were great. We dated, then slowly started hugging, kissing, etc. But around the beginning of December things started going backwards. The kisses stopped, everything.

 

About a week before Christmas she told me she was going to have her ex over for the holiday because he practically begged her to let him be with his son on Christmas. But by the end of that weekend she was telling me she was giving serious thought to getting back with him. This guy physically, emotionally, and sexually abused her so badly that its hard to even think about. Obviously I did everything I could to convince her not to go back to him. I even told her if she went back to him I wanted nothing to do with her. I could tell she was hurt by that thought, and in the end she ended up staying with me and telling him to go back home. She told me the night he left that the reason she had distanced herself from me was because she was falling for me and it scared her. Things since have improved between us a little. We continue to go on dates, the hugging and even kissing returned, and I even told her I loved her, but now shes distancing herself again. It seems like every time we get to a certain point she steps back. When I talk to her she tells me she's just not ready for a relationship right now. When I ask her why she says she wants to get back on her feet and into her own place and stuff like that. I ask her if she's still interested in me and she says yes. She's even said that when she's ready I'm the one she wants to be with.

 

I try to keep in mind all that she's been through, and all she's still going through. But I do get worried. Should I be concerned? Or do I need to just stand by her side patiently and just wait for her to be ready? I worry that she's not being totally honest with me, that maybe she's talking to her ex again or something, but she promises that she's fully over him. I even heard her tell him on the phone that she was done with him. I even asked her if there was another guy, but she got really upset when I asked that. She said everyone thinks she's out running around with guys like some kind of hooker. I told her I didn't think that at all, just that I wanted to know that I was truly the only guy in her life. She tells me she just doesn't want to hurt me by starting something before she's ready.

 

I'd appreciate any advice!