depplover_1980 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Well it should be the case from what i've read. Believe me she would be sending you messages to test the water of your feelings, like 'how you feeling?' or 'I miss hanging with you?'. Even someone with pure pride would lightly test the water to check the chances of rejection before proceeding. You are suffering from pure delusion right now I'm afraid. Keep it together. x
Am4Real Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 You need to face the fact that chances are you will never talk to her again. IT IS OVER AND SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU. Sorry to be so harsh. As mentioned if she really cared about how the trial went she would call you and persist. You are definately looking for excuses to contact her when she doesn't deserve you!! Keep going, add to the days and treat it as a day at a time, get through todays no contact and worry about tomorrows then. You are strong enough. [sIZE=5][COLOR=#990000]wmrjw82[/COLOR][/sIZE] WMRJW, the above is good advice. Consider it thoroughly before finding an excuse to call her!
Am4Real Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 You need to face the fact that chances are you will never talk to her again. IT IS OVER AND SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU. Sorry to be so harsh. As mentioned if she really cared about how the trial went she would call you and persist. You are definately looking for excuses to contact her when she doesn't deserve you!! Keep going, add to the days and treat it as a day at a time, get through todays no contact and worry about tomorrows then. You are strong enough. WMRJW, the above is good advice. Consider it thoroughly before finding an excuse to call her!
banser123 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Trust me. Trust me. Trust me dude. Don't call her. I made the mistake and if you think your hurting bad now it will only get worse. My best friend and coworker, who is extremely beautful like you said your ex is, actually asked me to date. She was crazy about me. I felt on top of the world. She dumped me after a month. I did nothing wrong. We gave it a second chance months later and the same result. Now we are best friends, we spend holidays together and she treats me great, but she still only wants to be friends and its killing me. But I have to see her everyday bc of work otherwise I would just go away. My point is, you have the chance to not talk to her and see her anymore. Please continue. Otherwise u may end up in the same boat as me, being depressed and hurting everyday. I can't stress it enough. Take my advice and run.
Author wmrjw82 Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 (edited) Well, today marks 3 weeks exactly of NC. It's been hard as hell and I honestly dont feel a whole lot better than I did when we originally broke up I still am marching along. It's really the only thing i've got left to do. I know deep down now that those 2 txt's were selfish on her part just to rid herself of some guilt and i've tried not to obsess about them as much as I have lately. That is progress I guess. I guess i'll never really know why a person can turn on a dime like she did but perhaps that has more to do w/ me and not ignoring the red flags when they first appear. So on this 3 week occassion I thought I would make a list of all the negatives I remember of her and why this breakup might be a good thing. - Dont wake her before 10:30-11am. Obviously, w/ a baby I was always up before then to take care of him. She was a nightowl and wouldn't go to bed sometimes till 3 or 4am. Also she has endometriosis which (i think she partly used as an excuse) she said made her overly tired. Anyways, sometimes w/ his morning bottle I would bring my son into bed w/ us and if he made any noise or got too cranky she would go balistic. "He's not my child" "You shouldn't expect me to suffer to just because you're up"... when in reality it wasn't about suffering... it was about spending time together. She said her only real goal in life was to have a child, well if she can't get up before 11am to hear a child, how would she ever raise her own? - She was an alcoholic Looking back, it's hard to define her as such. But i'm realizing that this was a reality. She drank nightly. Whether it be wine or beer, she would have something. She drank to relieve stress. She drank while she was studying. She drank ALOT. It's a fine line between someone who is a social drinker and someone who depends on it. Looking back, I think she was the later of the two. - Hypochondriac (sp?) She blamed it on the endometriosis, but i've known other girls w/ this and it was never quite so bad. During the relationship I was quite supportive because of her strong opinions about it, but looking back... it's still hard to tell. She was sick w/ something almost weekly. It was hard to see but I tried my best to be there for her. Sometimes I honestly just think it was something in her head to draw attention to herself. - Extremely Selfish Ignoring the whole process of the breakup, the ex was extremely selfish throughout the relationship. One example that comes to mind was on Christmas Eve. She had gotten mad at me because I was late (about an hour) to go to her family's holiday gathering. I was late because I was visiting my own family which she didn't go to see. On the way to her family's holiday gathering I said i'd like to be back by 9pm so that I could read my son "Twas the Night Before Christmas", he's 6 months old and I know he doesn't understand the words but it was his very first Christmas and it was important to me that we be at our home before he went to bed so that I could read him this special story. You would have thought that I asked her to kill her dogs. She broke down crying saying "why are you making me cry on Christmas! I just want to see MY family on Christmas" Now, the time of this altercation was about 5:30pm... by staying till 9pm... we would have been there for 3 and a half hours. I apologized, we stayed until 10pm and I did read the story to my son. Unforunately, he was already asleep when I began reading it to him. That is just one example. She was deep down always about herself FIRST. Even before my child and that is a no go. Looking back, there were alot of arguments that took place in regards to me wanting to do something for my son that would put him before her. She didn't like or understand that. -Overly flirtatious with other men My ex was very attractive and probably the best looking girl i've ever been with. So I expected her to get alot of attention, but I made it a point to not be jealous. But looking back, she openly flirted w/ guys sometimes right in front of me. Again, I always thought it was her need for attention but it reminds me of something she told me about when she was married. It was early on in our relationship and she said... "I hope you're not the jealous type... my husband was really jealous and that didn't work for me. One time I was giving one of his friends a lap dance and he didn't like that at all." When she told me that story, inside my head, i was thinking "wtf?... if i was married to this girl and she did that w/ one of my friends, you damn right i'd be pissed too"... It was a red flag that I ignored because I thought it just came w/ the territory of dating an extremely good looking girl. Looking back, I should have let it be known how I felt back then about it. But I didn't want to show her any insecurities. But she crossed lines sometimes and I just put up with it. -Need for attention Not just from me but everyone. And this is my final thing on the list for right now because it kinda involves all the other things. Whether it was the constant sickness, the selfish behaviors, the flirting w/ other guys... deep down this girl had a constant need for attention. Sometimes it even felt like she was competing w/ my 6 mo old baby for attention. That really bothered me. -------------- I feel bad writing these things about her because I really do love her deep down. I dont want to just throw her under the bus. But I guess it helps me in a way right now because i have to look after #1 (myself and my son) just like she is doing for herself. I have to realize that she wasn't this perfect object of my affection. She did have faults and things I didn't like about her. Anyways...3 weeks down. I hope things get easier. Thanks for being there so far LS. It really means alot. Edited February 20, 2011 by wmrjw82
Author wmrjw82 Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 I also wanted to post a positive note on the 3 weeks of NC. Since our breakup 5 weeks ago I have lost 15lbs! It used to be just the lack of appetite but it also got me back into the gym (on the hopes that she was on her way back when i got those 2 txt from her)... well the hope of her coming back or perhaps me ever speaking to her again has dwindled tremendously and that makes me sad but I do look alot better! Yesterday, I posted my first pictures of myself since the breakup up on facebook. I defriended her the day after our breakup but she can still see my profile picture and if she ever does happen to glance at it (i doubt she will) she will clearly see me smiling and alot thinner! And even better than that... it makes me feel alot better about myself.
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