stopthemadness Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 (edited) As most of you know my story, been broke up for about 7 months . After 8+ yrs of an off and on back and forth relationship. At first he said he needed a break, after that. it turned into Ive met smone on face book from my past and am gona start dating them. I was devastated! He was still comming by and hugging on me kissing me even saying I love you up untell a few months ago. I guess i was waiting for him. Well we still kept contact. The whole time him telling me about the people he was dating. Been 3 people sence like Nov. Weve been N/C for 21 days today. I wasnt taking all of this well. So i started seeing a therapist.Which by the way has helped me alot! I knew if i couldnt kick the habit of this guy on my own id get some help. For the most part am healing up pretty good. Even went on a date last weekend. Anyways am getting side tracked. I have a 20 yr daughter who is very pretty and smart goes to college, works and still lives at home with me. When she turned 18 she moved out for like a year because she didnt want to listen too my rules. After about 13 months later she moves back home. Now she has a boyfriend, whos well..not a nice guy. He didnt even finish High school has been in jail and has a thug mentality. He lives on the bad side of town and all his friends do too.He cant seem to hold a job and all he does is hang out with his friends. About 2 months ago my daughter finds out shes (you guessed it) going to have his baby. She says she still plans on finishing school so thats good. Shes 5 months pregnant. Well last night i get a knock at my door. Its a young girl who wants to talk to my daughter. Just then my daughters boyfriend runs up from behind her telling her to leave. The girl says I needs to talk to her women to women! As hes telling her to leave to I call my daughter from her room, and now everyones yelling at eachother but i can make out what going on. This girl says shes seeing my daughters boyfriend too and thinks she should know about it!!When the girl left and everything calmed down. I told my daughter it seemed to me like they came together!! So this morning I talk to my daughter ask her what shes going to do? She believes his guy that the whole things bull **** and that girl is crazy.He told her they were seeing eachother when they were on a break. I tell her that am here for her and we can do this, and it will be ok. I tell her she doesnt need to put up with this. Well she wants to stay with him!! Believes everything he says and wants to try to make it work with him. No he doesnt live with us never has. So my question is, Did i do this? was i such a bad example to her for too many years and now she thinks its ok to be treated badly. This morning i asked her if she would see my therapist for little while. She said no. I told her when is enough, enough? how much of this crap will you take? She says after the baby is born she'll break up with him if he cant get it together. So what did you guys think? Did I do this? I sure feel like maybe I did?Maybe if I would have been stronger, she wouldnt be taking this crap from him?Did she learn this from me? Edited February 10, 2011 by stopthemadness
sammyd Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 In answer to your question, no, i don't believe you did this. Your daughter is sounds as if she's infatuated with this guy. Maybe she loves him, who knows. Maybe she feels she'll be winning if she stays with him and he wants her over the other girl. Hopefully when the baby arrives, she'll think more of the child than than him and realise what kind of guy he is. Your daughters young, and we all went through phases like this, it's not until you look back in your 30's that you think WTH was i doing!! lol I think you need to be there to support her, whatever happens (i'm sure you are anyway), but she's going to need you for sure over the next few months!
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