JennyTomato Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 I have very little dating experience (and what little I've had hasn't gone all that well). I don't like to 'play games' but also want to make sure I'm not being taken for granted already. I've been dating this very nice man for the past few weeks. Today is Thursday and we do not have any plans set for the weekend. My friend says it's no big deal "it's only Thursday" but my feeling is if he wanted to see me, he'd make sure we had a plan. Am I being too rigid?
TaraMaiden Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 You want to see him? What's stopping you making plans? This is the 21st Century here! it's a level playing field!
Eeyore79 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Maybe he's sitting at home moaning to his buddy that you're obviously not interested in him because you never take the initiative to make plans to see him? If you want to see him, just call him and ask what he's doing this weekend!
choproyd Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 I agree. It can be pretty exhausting thinking of something new to do every week, if he has any interest he would be delighted that you have made the effort to arrange something.
ginger337 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Don't over analyze. Give the man a call and invite him out
Author JennyTomato Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Tara...Historically I am the one who puts ALL the energy into the relationship and the guy basically doesn't have to do anything and then down the road I end up unhappy. I'm trying to avoid repeating past mistakes and strike a fair balance.
Author JennyTomato Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Ginger..I overanalyze everything. I'm happy to suggest plans, glad to do the legwork to find the info (which I am doing now b/c we are going out later)...but to me...if he wanted to see me and wanted to be sure I was free for him this weekend, he would have at least said something vague like "let's do something Friday night" earlier in the week. Then my time is blocked off for him. I think too much. I just don't want to repeat past mistakes and certainly don't want to screw up something that has potential to be very very nice and good for me. He's a sweet guy. Thank you everybody!
waynebrady Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I haven't even gotten in to dating yet but I have already given up on a woman ever putting in effort and initiating contact and making plans when dating, simply by reading forums like these. I've decided that if I do meet a woman I'm not even gonna give her a chance to make plans, and if she does I might aswell move on since apparantley thats what all guys do anyway as soon as a woman shows intrest(according to women). If thats the way it's gonna be, then thats the way it is I wouldn't want too sit through a date were the woman resented me because she made the plans and I didn't anyway. It wouldn't be a very nice atmosphere. So save yourself the trouble and don't call him, don't make any plans, don't initiate anything... You would obviously just feel bad if you did.
Cee Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 You said you didn't want to play games. But waiting for a guy to call is a game. You want to call and set something up for the weekend. Go do it. Reciprocity is the key to making things work. Reach out to him and see how he responds. If he responds favorably, then you are good. If he doesn't reciprocate, at least you know where you stand. I wish reciprocity could be in everybody's dating vocabulary. It's what makes two people a couple.
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