sweetblubrry Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 What do you do? My boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me 2 weeks out completely out of nowhere. There were no warning signs. It was very emotional for the both of us. He was crying telling me that I deserve better than him, he doesn't deserve me, etc. He also I felt came up with a lot of excuses with his friends saying he is different around me, that he can't be himself. I have no idea... but did have a mutual friend talk to him and she said that he just doesn't know what he wants in life or who he is. I am devastated. Does this mean there is no hope? I am so happy with him.. but he has been very stressed about his life and where he is going. Things haven't exactly been going his way lately (he had some car trouble, traffic issues, license suspended, etc) And he is stuck in a job that he wants to get out of. I feel like no matter how wonderful I tell him he is, he won't believe it. What is worse, is that his best friend did this exact same thing to one of my best friends a few months ago. The whole "i dont know who i am or what i want" card. It kills me because he just does not believe anything good that I say about him. This also I wonder stemmed from a convo we had 3 weeks ago. I posted about it on my last post. he told me he didn't like sex, after I confronted him about it. Just in general he does not enjoy it. I was upset at first, but I accepted it. But he got all upset at me during the breakup saying I said something was wrong with him... when I never did! It is just such a HUGE issue for him, and I'm not sure why. I think because he faced a lot of ridicule about it or he is having internal conflict about it. I love him, why would I say that? He has been dumped by many girls when he admits this to them... And when he dumped one girl, she actually went out and spread all these rumors at work about him saying he couldn't get it up, he's gay, etc. Well I am the classy one and I have not said a thing. I really think he was afraid that I would be just like them and do the same thing. But I am still not 100% that this is the issue. I am not sure what to do. I love him and I miss him so much. we work together so i am bound to run into him. But I have not seen him in almost 2 weeks and we have not spoken through phone/facebook/email. I am waiting for him to contact me.... we have not spoken since the breakup night. What do you do in situations like this? I don't want to lose him but I don't think I can be friends with him. Do guys in these situations normally come around eventually? I had one ex do something similar (though he had a lot more problems like anger) and he eventually came back. But by then I had realized what a jerk he was (very angry, abusive verbally). This guy is not a jerk... I just think he is very confused. The only thing he has done wrong thus far is this breakup. Our relationship was very close and we did not fight, and had merely disagreements.
Eddie Edirol Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Dont count on it coming around. Just move on with your life for now and leave him alone. As painful as it is, bottom line is this.... if he broke up with you, he felt like he could not be around you. He could either be tired of you, or if he is depressed, his instinct is to be alone because he doesnt feel like you are helping him feel better no matter what you were doing. In his mind, you just got in the way and you werent helping. So whatever the situation, he has to figure it out himself, and you can wait if you want, but I advise that you dont wait. If you have no idea what he needs to feel better, you cant possibly know where he will go from here, so theres no point in waiting.
raincheck Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 "the only thing he has done wrong thus far is this breakup" thats a huuuuggee thing to do wrong-- he essentially has removed you from his life and hasn't attempted to contact you at all in the last two weeks. that makes up for all the disagreements you didn't have throughout your relationship. it is horrible to be with someone who is "confused" about whether or not they want to be with you. he is right in that he doesn't deserve you. regardless of all the excuses or reasons he gave you, it sounds like the fundamental reason for him breaking up with you is that he is not sure about you anymore. dont justify his behavior by thinking about what else is going on in his life, his job, etc etc... your relationship was about you and him, and if he thought it was strong and steady, he would have wanted you by his side as he went through these things in life. i think the best thing you can do is realize it is over, and move on. hanging on like this or wondering if he will come back won't do you any good... and time apart will give you clarity and allow you to think about yourself, and if this relationship is good enough for YOU, instead of just wondering if it was good enough for him. you can't always be someone's endless support; you don't need to be the sole steady, sure, one in the relationship. dont contact him and dont try to be friends! you'll be all right
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