grace11 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 (edited) I dated my ex boyfriend for several months, but we got really serious really fast. He told me how he loved me so moved, how I was his everything, and how he knew we'd be together forever. I can even count the number of times he told me I was his "one". He said he just knew. He told all his friends that he was the happiest he had ever been while dating me. We were extremely open with each other too. We really seemed to be in the perfect relationship. Well, he ended up getting sick for a little over a week. He's the kind of guy that gets really quiet and out of sorts when he goes through something, and that's exactly what happened. He essentially stopped talking to me. Never called, never texted, never said I love you, nothing. I gave him space and let him be the one to initiate conversations occasionally. Health wise he got better, but emotionally he didn't. He still would rarely talk and just wasn't his sweet self at all. The night before we broke up, we went on a date, but you would've never known we were dating. He seemed really distant...almost like I was just a friend to him. I honestly thought he had fallen out of love with me, but he said he didn't. When I asked him that question though, he answered but changed the subject VERY quickly. The next day I called and texted him, which he ignored both, so I knew something was up. I sent him a message on facebook asking what was going on thinking he'd see it and call me back... I get a message back saying, "Just going through a lot and trying to figure things out. It went downhill fast. Another message read, "I like you a lot but I don't know if us being together is a good thing at this time because I have so much going on. I don't want us over, but it might be best." This was news to me because I never knew there were problems to begin with besides him getting sick. After trying to talk through it with him, I asked if we could at least talk about it on the phone, but he ignored that. He later went on to say that he wanted to be good friends for now and get back together once he got his life straightened out. He said it killed him to break up with me, and he was trying to make it painless and easy, but it just wasn't. Finally I get a message saying, "I just can't talk anymore. This is killing me, and I don't know how to do this and not hurt you too." I said,"So we're done talking for good?" He said,"No I want to talk, I just can't date you." I left it at that. He kept going back and forth. I started following the NC rule. He has never tried contacting me. A mutual friend asked him about me about a month after the break up, and he really did not want to talk about it. He made the comment that he couldn't talk to me because it reminded him of how much he hurt me. That sounded like he just wasn't over me. I was told by mutual friends that his life was getting straightened out and he was doing better. then 2 months after the break up, he started dating another girl...who doesn't even go to the same school as us (I guess it'd be helpful to mention we're in college) I have broken the NC rule once. I asked him when he was going to tell me the real reason why he broke up because I assumed since he was dating someone else that he hadn't been truthful. He ignored the message. It's been 4 months since breaking up, and I have no idea what to think anymore. How do you go from being so in love and open with someone to never talking to the person again? I have no idea what he was going through at the time. He didn't tell me, but I do know that everything used to be perfect. Did he fall out of love and just doesn't want to hurt me so he didn't say, or is there something else going on? I mean he's dating another girl, so he's obviously over me. I guess I just need help putting the pieces together. Edited February 10, 2011 by grace11
depplover_1980 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 I can't help you much beyond the usual advice on the other threads but 3 things stood out to me. 1. It has been 4 months now and you have to accept he is choosing another life for himself whatever the reasons. 2. You can date someone else and not be over someone, as people do this all the time. I have done this myself but you have no proof that is what is going on here, so back to point 1. Move on. 3. Often we never get the true reasons people split because often they don't know themselves. Stick around and give advice to other people, it helps me stay focused!! x
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