aroll32 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Hey everyone, so I'm in the stage of a breakup right now. I dated this girl for 6 months, and I believe that I was (and still am unfortunately) in love with her. She actually told me she was falling in love with me first, within a month. With this being my first relationship, I didn't know what to do. Of course I had feelings for her, but I wasn't sure what they were. Anyways, we had our problems, and they eventually led to us breaking it off.. something I didn't want to do. Again, the only thing I knew was that I wanted to be with her, and I didn't care how I got it. So I pulled a few stupid things that I will NEVER do again, but that's beside the point. Sorry, got carried away. So I need help basically, it's been about a month and a half and I still think about her a lot. Sometimes, it hurts me so bad that I end up in tears. But the thing is, I know we aren't a perfect couple, I know we wouldn't end up staying together forever, and I know that we are really different. But that doesn't matter to me, I still have feelings for this girl and no matter what I do, it seems like they don't go away. I've even "hooked up" with 2 other girls already, but I still seemed to be drawn to her. She is my "first love" so I know it's gonna be tough, but I honestly have no idea what I can do to help myself. I know it can take a long time to get over someone, but I really do want to be over this NOW. Because there's always hope of us getting back together in the back of my mind, even if I don't realize it sometimes. It sucks... this girl tore my heart out, and I still can't find a way to hate her. I don't know, sometimes I feel like this is just way too much, that I should just forget about everything. But of course she'll pop into my head about .5 seconds after. The worst thing about it is that I know we can never be together again, but it doesn't help the way I feel. Is what I'm going through a normal thing? I feel like an idiot.
ShatteredReality Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 It takes time. Especially the first love. Give yourself the time to mourn the relationship, the friendship - and the "firsts" of it all. You never have another "first" - which is why it's always the hardest to let go of. Also - just "hooking up" with other girls isn't going to solve the problem. It may meet your physical wants and needs, but what you're trying to deal with now it emotional...so you need to deal with that. You could find a good friend/confidant...someone you can talk to. Better yet if it's someone who has been through it...Or just keep posting here. You're not an idiot...you're getting over a relationship...it's painful and it's difficult...and it takes time...much more than we ever want it to. A friend of mine said once that it takes half the length of the relationship to get over it...that can be true...but it isn't always. I had a boyfriend for 2 yrs in highschool...6 months after the breakup I reread all the notes he had sent me and sobbed like a little baby - and I had been dating other guys and trying to move on. That one night, though...2 hrs of being a blubbering messy fool....and I was fine the next day. It was amazing...I let it all out...I felt all the pain and didn't deny any of it....I accepted responsibility in where we went wrong and acknowledged the reality of why I didn't want to be with him...a couple weeks later I met the boy I eventually married... You're going to be ok - and if she pops into your head and you don't want her to...push her out and change the channel.
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