I messed up! I broke up with my girl during a very hard point in my life and I want h

[adidas_tc84]

K so at the end of October My girlfriend and I of 5 years broke up.. I broke up with her i pushed her away b/c of things I was going thru. But i stared spending time with this other girl and I latched on to her and the way she was supporting everything I had this crazy infatuation with her I had known her for over a year.. and she was always flirty and saying things to me about being with her.. But I just blew it Off b/c I was in love with my girl. So during this hard part in my life I was so vaunraible and went to her for comfort instead of my Girlfriend. My mom, dad, lil bro, and Sis were out of Jobs My Grandma died it was such a hard time in my life and I pushed the one I love away for someone that took advantage of me b/c of the state I was In.. Well now after 3 months of being broke up and her trying to get me back. she does not want me back right now. She calls what I did cheating and that she cant trust me any more and that I lied to her about her all the time witch when we together I did lie a few times but I said she was a good friend when i was going thru all of this and there was not anything more.. And then I brake up with her and I we are still talking and hanging out sleeping with each other but one day I lied to her and told her a had stuff to do and I went to hang out with this other girl and she found out and now that is really big b/c I lied and we were still talking I went to go spend time with this other girl. ONLY as friends thought we just talked and she wanted me to meet her agent.. But I lied JUST b/c i did not want to hurt her NOT b/c i was hiding any thing at this point in time I did not want anything to do with her like that and had resized what she was doing to me and how it was a game for her to mess with my head in the vaunarabile state I was in.. But anyway I love my ex more than anything in the world and wish I would have went to her for confort in stead of pushing her away.. So now I had time to think and realize how bad i F@%Ked up and want to be with her more than anything.. I even went out to denver where she is living now she moved to denver with her dad back in december and I kills me I want to get back with her she wanted me to come out there so I did. It was so great when i was there we where like it was when we first got together kissing hugging telling each other we love you making love it was amazing but the last night I was there we had a long talk and I blew up b/c I was in shock and did not like what she was saying and made things worse and i kept telling her I wanted her back but she is not having it any more like a week before i got there she said she stopped trying to get me back and so this was 2 weeks ago now I want her back and she says she is at a different state in her life now that she is ok with being alone. She moved about 500 miles away and is living with her dad. And told me she is not moving back to new york where we lived. But she still tells me she loves me and the door is not closed and she still calls me pet names and we talk everyday I tell her sweet dreams she says only of you. She Says she needs to trust me again and says all the time that EVRY Boyfriend she ever had has cheated on her.. and still tells me I cheated. I need help.. I want her back I lover her more than anything I deleted this girls number email and facebook account.. to show her.. I still talk to my ex everyday and she still tells me she loves me.. And that based on love we would would be together but love is not the problem.. HELP I am a 28 year old man who has lost the women of his dreams due to his own selfish needs and wants.. HELP!!

Edited February 9, 2011 by adidas_tc84

[WindyCityGirl]

I broke up with her i pushed her away b/c of things I was going thru.

 

So during this hard part in my life I was so vaunraible and went to her for comfort instead of my Girlfriend.

 

someone that took advantage of me b/c of the state I was In.

 

I did lie a few times but I said she was a good friend when i was going thru all of this and there was not anything more.

 

And then I brake up with her and I we are still talking and hanging out sleeping with each other but one day I lied to her and told her a had stuff to do and I went to hang out with this other girl

 

But I lied JUST b/c i did not want to hurt her NOT b/c i was hiding any thing

 

I want her back and she says she is at a different state in her life now that she is ok with being alone. She moved about 500 miles away

 

I am a 28 year old man who has lost the women of his dreams due to his own selfish needs and wants..

 

Aaaah Haaaa!! Acceptance for your behavior right at the end. My point is, throughout your statement I picked up on a lot of denial and self-victimization. You only accepted responsiblity for your actions once your girlfriend was gone and the other chick proved to be a dud. So that leaves me to wonder is it even genuine. We ALWAYS want what we can't have. You had a lot of excuses and blamed everyone but yourself. Unfortunately your self-realization of how selfish you were may be too little too late. If you had problems living in the same state imagine whats going to happen living 500 miles apart. Things are fine now, but at 28 there's going to be many more stressor in life. Are you able to handle those without running off to someone else. Take it easy for a while. Give her some space. It could possibly work in your favor if you relax a bit and take some time for you.