LittleTiger Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Shame he can't read what you've written Mme C!
sweetjasmine Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Also, how come some women look down on a guy approaching them in public? Because in my experience, 9 times out of 10, the man is a creep or a panhandler, and when I'm out in public alone, I'm usually trying to get somewhere to do something. I'm not out to pick people up. And before someone says it, no, my definition of creep is not "a guy who comes on to me who I find unattractive." Creep would be a drunk old man slurring come ons at me at 8 in the morning while I'm waiting for the train, following me onto the train car, and only stopping after being scolded by a middle-aged woman. Creep would be a guy standing 30 feet behind me and following me because he spotted me alone. Creep would be 3 drunk young men approaching me on a dark street at night and yelling incomprehensible gibberish at me. Creep would be a man old enough to be my father blatantly staring at my chest and making a comment about my breasts. The rest are either panhandlers or people who need to know the time/directions. Having lived in shady areas and having been in frightening situations involving men I don't know going after me, I'm automatically suspicious of strangers who are doing something more than dropping a casual remark (eg, "Damn it's cold") or asking for information about the area/transportation/time/weather. When you're a walking easy target in an area with a significant amount of crime, of course you're going to have your guard up. It's risky not to.
yongyong Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 you are in UK? well you should check out the video by 'jeremy soul' it's on youtube. he teaches you how to pick up white women on street and he is not even white lol 1. The theory of approaching women in public places is great and I know some of my friends want to try it (not many do) but I get creeped out by that. When a guy starts talking to me in a street somewhere I expect that he will either ask for money (70% of the time) or sex (30% of the time). It is also seen as a bit.... skanky to be picked up in a street by the guy, it's certain women that allow to be approached at bus stops, etc. It's not a player thing, it's a class thing - at least in the UK. If you want to chat to girls in public places then maybe the wing man approach would work because that would allow you to talk to a girl who is not on her own but with a friend and that would make her feel less vulnerable. 2. I like straight forward men who show interest. My last ex was very much a 'heart on his sleeve' type and I really liked that but then again we met under non-threatening circumstances (I stayed in the house for a couple of days where he was living at the time) and he made clear that he wanted to have a drink with me to get to know me and I was very pleased because he is lovely looking. So basically I think circumstances play a big part. I think most girls don't want to be put on a spot and be made to have a conversation with a complete stranger. A lot of people in general are not very good at interracting with strangers in a personal way.
dispatch3d Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Hmm, so most good looking women walk around in public on guard? That's crazy. That basically leaves me zero chance of getting my foot in the door. How else is a guy supposed to get a beautiful woman on the go? There are lots of negative people on this board, in case you haven't realized it yet haha . Sooo it shouldn't be surprising that they are at least "on guard". Not that there are any shortage of people who could be more positive. Hell me included cause apparently i'm not very nice right now! aghhh! Anyhow, my (finally positive) point is that since you seem like you're always in a good mood, and like cheering people up, think of it as having a leg up. Everyone could be in a better mood, and you are already in a good mood.
welikeincrowds Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 The thing about street approaching is that women have to be concerned about a lot of things regarding their safety. Have you ever been hustled or mugged? You start looking at the streets a different way, right? Women are much more susceptible to that fear. Right after i was mugged i would walk around my neighborhood and be a shook one pt. Li at every stranger that was bigger than me, and it occurred to me that this must be how women feel all the time. I've only been successful with a street pickup once, although i do have some funny failure stories. With her it was a solid combo of a lot of factors that had her guard down: she was with male friends, she recognized that we went to the same school from the bag i had, i was wearing clothes that made me look good but non-threatening, etc. And that is before you even consider the type of girl she is, whether she's attracted to you, whether she's taken, etc. Giving your number out on the street is a bit of a risk no matter how charmed you've been (maybe even moreso because of that?) and so on top of everything else, you need to be talking to a risk taker. It's really not easy. It's not impossible. It just has to come off the way you want it to under any interview position: as though the meeting was the most natural thing in the world, as though it were meant to be. Way easier said than done.
sweetjasmine Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 The thing about street approaching is that women have to be concerned about a lot of things regarding their safety. Have you ever been hustled or mugged? You start looking at the streets a different way, right? Women are much more susceptible to that fear. Right after i was mugged i would walk around my neighborhood and be a shook one pt. Li at every stranger that was bigger than me, and it occurred to me that this must be how women feel all the time. People vary in how they feel when they're out in public. Some women are more relaxed, others are more on guard. It depends on who they are and what they've experienced. I've had my wallet stolen right from under my nose at a restaurant by a middle-aged woman. I've been in alarming situations and gotten out of them thanks to the fact that I have a habit of being acutely aware of my surroundings when out in public. About half the people I knew in the neighborhood I recently left had been assaulted and mugged while walking around alone. It was pretty common, and as a result, I adapted. I don't walk around in fear, but I don't trust strangers and I do assume that anyone is capable of pretty much anything, especially if they're drunk, on drugs, or looking for a fix. Like I suggested, a petite female walking down the street alone or riding the subway at night is an easy target. If you understand how vulnerable you are, it's hard not to be on guard. If my negative response hurts a guy's feelings because he was hoping to pick up some random chick on the street, well, I'm sorry, but it's not a risk I'm willing to take after what I've experienced. It's not about being "negative." It's about staying safe. she was with male friends, This seriously makes all the difference in the world. If you're with someone, especially at least another male, you let your guard down a little.
dispatch3d Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 fk I keep wearing my threatening clothes and forget to wear my nonthreatening. Whats your standard nonthreatening attire? I usually go with lighter shades of blue, no sunglasses (sunglasses are widely considered uber threatening), or hats.
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