stook Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 (edited) well well well. how do i start. i have been in a ****ty relationship for the past 2 years. i am a very positive, happy, out going, nice person, have personality. and she well. no personality, no friends, relies on me for everything and to do everything with, not a people person, hates everything i do, constantly tries to change me, nasty attitude more often then positive. well heres my dilemma. i have been going along with this for the past year, until a girl that has my similar traits comes along, i planned to break up and go after the girl that would be better for me. well that day came. my girlfriend is out of town for a week and a half, and i just happened to meet that perfect girl with the traits im looking for. well, me learning from past experiences and and learning how to avoid the "friend zone", and being more confident. i met a girl. gorgeous, stunning personality, genuwinely nice, out going ect (exactly what i was looking for).... and it just so happens that every guy and there father that she meets or is somewhat nice to they want her instantly. that being pretty intimidating, well i said screw it whats the worse that could happen she could deny me and most likely still be friends and so i began pursue her. we hung out a couple nights i got her number. texted her like 3 days later, didnt wanna seem to interested. small talk turned into what we like in a guy/girl. i had what she was looking for very nice teeth (weird, but she has a thing for teeth) nerdy with a inner hot (i was like wtf im no nerd didnt say it of course) nice eyes that accomidate those teeth, and i am a jack mormon like herself (i guess that made me that more attractive to her) being that we have the same beliefs but dont exactly follow them to the t and it also avoids religious conflict (not that either of us are super religious bible thumpers that go to church, we drink, party ect...) well now shes staying the night, we talk for hours (like 9pm-9am) totally screwed up my sleep schedule but will be worth it. she knows i have a girlfriend that i am not happy with. she knows im leaving my girlfriend for her. but im not a cheater. we want to kiss and well.... do other things but she respects the fact im not a cheater and a good person and want her to know that thats not something id do to her if things work out. so she teases and tests me to try to get me to brake (i guess its fun for her.) but she understands and is willing to wait out the week. now onto the dilemma i need to break up with my girlfriend. shes out of town. she doesnt get back till sunday, but i will be out of town for a few days for some dui shenanigans i got into there in the past. well monday intended to break up with her until i realized it is valentines day and her birthday...... so now i ask should i break up with her the day before valentines day, on valentines day or the day after. or should i be a jerk and totally ruin her trip and end it over the phone. im lost dont want this phenominal girl to wait to long and get up and leave. what shall i do folks Edited February 9, 2011 by stook
utterer of lies Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Yeah it sucks but break up as soon as possible, as in, the next time you see her. It's even better, she can hate you a bit for being such an ******* instead of just being sad..
O'Malley Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 You've been careful to focus most of the issues in your relationship onto your girlfriend, while avoiding any notion of what you have contributed to the problems. This includes you laying the groundwork with another girl while you're still involved (and it is cheating, even if you didn't have sex). Call your girlfriend and break up with her without accusations or blaming, so that she can start the process of moving on and eventually find someone far better to date.
JohnnyCage Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 So according to you and this new girl it's considered cheating ONLY if you kiss or have sex. You also said WE WANT TO KISS AND DO OTHER THINGS also. Yep you are a good guy and definitely not a cheater
Jazzari Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 You should have broken up with your girlfriend the minute you decided you wanted someone else. Hanging on until you found that person was weak and cruel. Break up with her on Sunday. Don't wait.
Author stook Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 well i neither of us feel we have crossed any inappropriate boundaries, thus i feel like i have not "technically" cheated.
Jazzari Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 well i neither of us feel we have crossed any inappropriate boundaries, thus i feel like i have not "technically" cheated.I wonder how you would feel the same if the situation was reversed?
JohnnyCage Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 well i neither of us feel we have crossed any inappropriate boundaries, thus i feel like i have not "technically" cheated. So it's alright to think about having sex with other women while you are in a relationship.
Author stook Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 i dont think any of it is alright if the script was flipped i wouldnt think it would be alright, which is why im ending it. it seems that it would be better then having a relationship with this girl and keeping my girlfriend at the same time and hiding it. why i stayed with my current girlfriend for so long i dunno. maybe it was the comfort zone or history. but im am ending it.
Akumark Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 So it's alright to think about having sex with other women while you are in a relationship. Of course it is, you just don't do it
JohnnyCage Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Of course it is, you just don't do it So next time please tell your wife/gf when you look at a hottie that you imagine having sex with her all the time. If it's really ok then she shouldn't care
Author stook Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 sorry if i offended anyone here, just tryin to figure things out thats all
Akumark Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 So next time please tell your wife/gf when you look at a hottie that you imagine having sex with her all the time. If it's really ok then she shouldn't care Lol are you crazy! I would never do that (ok I'd say it but maybe not the all the time part) ! I have to admit it took me a good 5-6 years in my LTR before I started thinking about that, but it was never something that was a nuisance to my couple of 11 years.
JohnnyCage Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Lol are you crazy! I would never do that (ok I'd say it but maybe not the all the time part) ! I have to admit it took me a good 5-6 years in my LTR before I started thinking about that, but it was never something that was a nuisance to my couple of 11 years. Omit the "all the time" part and let us know what happened after
Akumark Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Omit the "all the time" part and let us know what happened after Hahaha if I remember well she'd say something like : Well go for it ****bag, go nail this sl*t... and we'd laugh about it. She was and still is amazing, we were always very good friends.
Cee Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I suggest that you tell her every, ugly detail as soon as she gets back. About tolerating her for a year, the crush, and wanting to run after another woman. Let her talk out her feelings and ask questions. Try to be calm and respectful during the whole discussion. Allow her to get a sense of closure about this. You've been emotionally gone for a year and now she's just finding out about it. One thing that might help you is that she probably doesn't see you as a major prize. I would be very unhappy if my boyfriend got a DUI and would end the relationship. Her negativity might be because she's not happy in the relationship either. So by breaking up with her, you are helping her to be free.
lenny Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I totally agree with Cee here. I would really give your soon to be ex the time needed to have this conversation with her. I don't think I'd worry about losing the new amazing girl since she seems interested enough to wait a week for you to end things properly. This may just be me but, although it would add to my bitching stories, even though a nice discussion would be good, I would rather get a lousy phone call or text on valentines/birthday/christmas/parent's funeral with a "Sorry hun, it's been a slice but I gotta get me some of this hottie so I'm gonna approach her" than to find out afterwords. The timing for me would be critical and I would hope my guy would never start romantically speaking to anyone without cutting me loose first.
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